Damocles

You know the feeling you have when something bigger than you looms over your head; Something you alone cannot influence, as much as you try to? It tenses you up. It makes you weary. It fatigues you day after day. When you allow your conscious mind to think about it, you worry. When you don’t allow your conscious mind to think about it, your unconscious mind and your body think about it, regardless. You hunch, you get lower back pain, you wear the weighted mantle of constant worry and it pushes you down. You are living under a damocles sword that can come down any second, and even though you are showing a brave face and try to ignore it, you know it’s there.
Only once the danger is gone, the damocles sword has been removed without slicing you in half, do you realize, just how much you were impeded by it. You realize how nervous you were as you sigh in relief. Your mood lifts, no it soars. By finally taking in full breaths of fresh air you realize how shallow your breathing has been. You smile and boy does that feel good. You finally feel like you can look up again. The worry weight drops off and you can almost fly.
This is how I feel today.

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About scratchingcat

Writer, mother, friend.
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One Response to Damocles

  1. Glad you are feeling better. A piece of advice I heard many years ago springs to mind, ‘if you are worried about something and you can do something about it, then do it, and then you can stop worrying. If you are worried about something and you can’t do anything about it, then you can stop worrying.’ So you see worrying is not logical Captain! Easier said than done as I well know!
    I once had some quite severe numbness and loss of function in my limbs. From first realizing I had a problem to getting a diagnosis took about 6 weeks. It was only after the diagnosis did I realise just how stressed I had become. The relief was palpable! I thought I had very good self control up until then. Now I know better!
    Thanks for another thought provoking blog.

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