Heroes parodies

Disclaimer:

I do not own either Survivor or Heroes. Survivor belongs to Mark Burnett and Heroes to Tim Kring. All song lyrics belong to the respective musicians. I also would like to say that in this survivor, the character of Jeff Probst is absolutely fictional. (I actually admire the real JP for being able to do this show season, after season, after season).

Survivor: Heroes edition

Jeff Probst: Welcome to our 16th installment of survivor. This year we are on the beautiful island of, where ever the heck we are and have 16 Heroes compete against each other.
They have been brought here and will compete like regular contestants. (Snickering in background).

JP: Who will outwit, outplay and outlast all the others?

Noah: Outwit? Good luck Mo!

JP: 39 days, 16 heroes, one survivor!
Let’s begin!

Adam: That one survivor is obviously me.

All: *groan*

Adam: Come on? 400 years old. Can’t die. No debate here.

Claire: Like you are the only one…

JP: This is not how we play this game.

Ando: What about the million bucks? Can we win the million bucks?

Haitian: If you don’t shut up I will make you forget about them.

JP: First things first, you will leave all your possessions here and then we will divide you into two tribes. Please line up and I will sort you.

Hiro and Ando: * are speaking Japanese*

JP: Please refrain from doing that. We have no money for a translator.

Hiro and Ando: *roll eyes*

JP: Members of the Unopu tribe are: Adam, Peter, Noah, Elle, Matt, West, Ando and the Haitian.

JP: *throws buffs*

JP: Here are your buffs

Elle: Oh turquoise, how stylish.

JP: Members of the Pesored tribe are: Hiro, Nathan, Claire, Sylar, Niki, Bob, Mohinder and Sandra.

JP: *throws buffs*

JP: Here are your buffs.

JP: Your first challenge as a tribe is to find your campsite and build your camp. You need to find the waterhole and you need to make fire. In this game, fire means life.

Peter, Elle and Sylar: *grin *

JP: Head out to your campsites. Survivors ready?! Go!

JP: Oh, Noah, wait a moment. When I said leave all your possessions, that included your gun.

Noah: #^$^%^&%^*^*^*&^%^%%#$!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandra: These buffs remind me of that cute Bandana I just bought for Mr. Muggles.

Claire: Mom, not now.

Sandra: Lyle will never treat Mr. Muggles the way he should be treated. MR. MUGGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mohinder: Mrs. Bennet, everything will be fine.

Sylar: Oh please!
At camp Unopu:

Adam: Hey Flyboy! Come over here and get some coconuts from that palm tree!

West: My name is West.

Adam: Yeah, whatever. Get moving!

West: Why don’t you ask Peter? He can fly too.

Adam: Peter doesn’t listen to me no more. *pouts*

Matt: *stares at West and squints*

West: *flies up the palm*

Ando: How did he do that?

Elle: Try to catch up sometime.

Noah: Let’s clear the parameter and set up defenses!

Haitian: I will neutralize the rodent threat.

Peter: Dudes, we need to build a hut.

Elle: *zaps* Here is our fire.

Haitian: I have located the water supply.

Peter: *starts uprooting trees, stacking them up and building a nice hut.*

Adam: *lies in the sun*

West: *brings coconuts and sits down*

Noah: Look, there is an opossum! We can eat that!

Elle: *shriek*

Haitian: For that we need to catch it first.

Noah: Man, I miss my gun!

Matt: *stares at West and squints*

West: I am a donut, I am a donut, I am a donut…..

Meanwhile at camp Pesored:

Hiro: *vanishes*

Nikki: What the?

Claire: That is so cool!

Sylar: I know! I really, really want that!

Bob: Don’t you dare!

Hiro: *reappears*

Hiro: What? Can’t I even take a crap in private?

Sylar: *radiates*

Mohinder: Sylar, what are you doing?

Sylar: Making fire, you doofus.

Mohinder: I don’t think it is ethical to use those powers to gain an unfair advan…

Sandra: *slam!*

Sandra: I am cold and I am tired and I deserve fire now!

Nathan: Looks like you learned from your husband.

Claire: How do you know..?

Nathan: I talk with my brother Claire. I don’t just use him as a coat hanger like you  use yours.

Mohinder: I miss Matt.

Bob: People, how about we build a hut?

Sylar: * TK’s a tree over*

Hiro: Watch where you point that tree!

Nikki: *Starts uprooting trees, stacking them up and building a nice hut.*

Sylar: *lies in the sun*

Mohinder: I will go looking for that water hole.

Bob: I better go with him.

Hiro: Flyingman! You and me will make a good team!

Nathan: If he calls me that again, I’ll deck him.

Nikki and Sylar: *Make out*

Claire: Now that is totally ewwwww!

The next day at the challenge location:

JP: It is now time for our first challenge. Let’s welcome back our two tribes. Tribe Unopu!

Tribe Unopu wanders in and stands on their turquoise mat.

JP: And tribe Pesored!

Tribe Pesored wanders in and stands on their yellow mat.

JP: So, how are you guys doing? Have you got your fire going?

Both tribes: Yeah! Sure! How stupid do you think we are?

JP: Ahem….

JP: Let’s get to today’s challenge. Do you wanna know what you are playing for?

Noah: No!

JP: What?

Noah: Come on, as if you would not tell us anyway.

JP: *unveils immunity idol*

JP: This is your first immunity challenge. For the winning tribe it means you are save for another 3 days. For the losing tribe it will tribal council and someone will get send home tonight!

Mohinder: My nose itches.

JP: We prepared an obstacle course  for you. It includes ropes, ladders, balance beams, and more ropes, organized in a a row that you need to cross without ever touching the ground and making sure you do it in an orderly fashion. The first tribe to get all members across will win immunity. So it is of utmost importance to get across as a tribe. You need to work together here…

Adam: He sure talks a lot…

JP: Immunity is at stake! Survivors ready! Go!

Pesored tribe: *huddles*

Hiro: * teleports Bob across*

Peter: That is not a bad idea. *grabs Noah and teleports across*

JP: That…is……………unusual.

West: *flies across*

Nathan: Show off. *flies across too*

JP: So is this…..

Hiro: *gets confused and teleports back *

JP: Unopu won the immunity challenge!!!!!!!!

Sylar: * holds his ears* Sometimes super hearing sucks.

JP: Unopu! Here is your immunity idol.

Elle: This is one of the ugliest things I have ever seen!

JP: Pesored, I have nothing for you. You may head back to camp now. See you at tribal council tonight.

Nikki: *rips off a balance beam on the way out*

Sylar: That’s my girl!

Later that evening at the tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council!

Tribe Pesored: *walks in*

JP: First things first. Grab a torch and light it. In this game fire means life. Once your torch is gone, so are you.

Sylar: Hey Claire, wanna grab my torch?

Sandra: *slaps Sylar*

Sylar: What’s with the slapping, you old bitch?

Bob: Let’s all calm down!!!

Hiro: *bows to JP*

Nathan: Dude, that is not necessary.

Hiro: Dude, it’s my culture. Don’t knock it.

Nathan: OK, cool.
JP: So, how are things at tribe Pesored?

Sylar: Oh, just peachy, thanks for asking. *rolls eyes*

JP: Hiro, your confusion today caused your tribe to lose in the immunity challenge. What do you think your chances are to survive this tribal council?

Hiro: *turns and looks at Sylar*

Hiro: Oh, ok, now I understand. Jeffe, I accept the blame for our loss and I am ready to face the consequences. It was my fault.

Nikki: That is just not fair. Without Hiro, we would not haven been even close to winning this, with all those loser people in our tribe.

Bob: Nice to know what you think of us.

Jeff: Oh ha!

Nathan: *grins manically* They are just kidding!!!!!!

Jeff: So, Bob, have there been any divisions between the power people and the normal people in your tribe?

Bob: Well, it is only natural to gouge your competitors and to…*smiles*

JP: To what?

Bob: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?

Claire: Sylar, stop touching me!!!

Sylar: Ooops! *grins*

Nathan: Sylar, wanna see the stars from up close?

Nikki: I am hotter than her!

Mohinder: This is what I have to put up with!

Everybody else: *hysterical laughter*

JP: It is now time for you to vote.

JP: Nikki, you’re up.

Voting ensues. Flames, pens, frogs, snakes, parchment folding, getting up and sitting down shots.

JP: Once I go tally the votes, the decision is final and the tribe member will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Nikki.

JP: Second vote: Sandra.

JP: Third vote: Nikki. Two votes Nikki, one vote Sandra.

Mohinder: Funny how they are so evenly distributed.

JP: Fourth vote: Sandra. Two votes Nikki, two votes Sandra.

Mohinder: See what I mean?

Nathan: Mo, just shut up!

JP: Fifths vote: Nikki. That makes…

Sylar: We can count!!!

JP: Ok, ok. Sixth vote: Sandra.

JP: Seventh vote: Sandra

JP: Eights vote: Sandra.

JP: Sandra, please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken. It is time for you to go.

Sandra: Claire, love you! Mr. Muggles, I am coming!!!!!!!!!!

JP: The rest of you, head on back to camp now.

Nikki: Here we go again with stating the obvious….

Voting slip shots for the Sandra vote:

Nikki: (Parchment says Sandra) You slapped my boy toy. See ya!

Bob: (Parchment says Nikki) You are too volatile for my taste..

Hiro: (Parchment says Sandra) What? Oh Hi. *waves at camera*

Nathan: (Parchment says Nikki) You are one hell of a competitor. I don’t want to end up against you..

Claire: (Parchment says Sandra) Sorry mom. I just know you are better off with Mr. Muggles.

Sylar: (Parchment says Sandra) One word: Boring!

Sandra: (Parchment says Nikki): I don’t like hoes!

Mohinder: (Parchment says Sandra) You slammed me, you bitch!

Day 5 at camp Unopu

Elle: I’m bored.

West: Wanna make out?

Elle: In your dreams, freak.

Haitian: Who are you calling a freak?

Adam: Come on, she is right. We are all freaks.

Ando: Huh?

Adam: Well some more than others.

Elle: I would make out with Peter again.

Peter: Yeah, like that would be the highlight of my day! *shudders*

Adam: So donut lover, do you ever talk?

Matt: Only with people who are worth talking to.

Noah: Let’s talk strategy people. The next challenge is coming up soon and…

Adam: How do you know the next one is coming up?

Noah: It’s called thinking, go with it.

Haitian: Besides, we have treemail.

Peter: *reads it*

Peter: Those rhymes in there are dreadful.

Noah: Are you a literature critic now?

Peter: Alright, alright! *reads aloud*

Peter: Under trees and over rocks,
You will find your way to a sacred place.
Use your talents and bring socks.
To make sure you’re sound and safe.

Matt: That really was dreadful.

Ando: Why socks?

Peter: Ando, I think you should be a little more worried about the talent part.

West: Matt, I was wondering, you with your mind stuff, could you make Elle make out with me?

Matt: I could, but I won’t.

West: Why not?

Matt: Because you’re my donut and I am your lover. *winks*

Peter: I think I need to explore that gift of yours a little more Matt.

Peter: *stares and squints*

Noah: I feel like tap dancing! *tap dances*

Noah: HELP!

Haitian: Nope man, that is just too funny to stop!

Meanwhile at Pesored

Sylar: So Bob, you wanted to get rid of my new girlfriend?

Bob: What? No! I would never!

Nikki: It’s ok. I can forgive him for being an ass once. But if he does it again, I will rip him a new one. *smiles sweetly*

Nathan: *flies in from above and skids to a halt*

Nathan: Treemail!

Claire: *grabs the paper and reads it*

Claire: What does it mean?

Hiro: You can’t read? Oh I am very sorry. Very sorry.

Claire: I CAN read!

Nathan: Let’s hope so. You don’t come from stupid people.

Bob: *Reads the paper aloud* Under trees and over rocks,
You will find your way to a sacred place.
Use your talents and bring socks.
To make sure you’re sound and safe.

Sylar: Obviously we are having another challenge. Can’t wait to beat the other tribe.

Nathan: Then it would be good if we had a strategy this time.

Bob: I agree.

Mohinder: Me too!

Everyone else: *Stares at Mo*

Sylar: Does anybody here have a watch?

Hiro: No, that would have been a personal possession.

Sylar: Strange, I wonder what that mysterious ticking noise is.

Bob: Let me assure you, it is not a pipe bomb.

Claire: I don’t have any socks.

Everyone else: *groans*

At the challenge location

JP: Welcome to our second challenge.

Let’s welcome back tribe Unopu.

Tribe Unopu: *Walks in and stands on mat*

JP: Now lets welcome back tribe Pesored. Sandra was the first person voted off the island.

Noah (thinking): Yes!!!!!!!

Matt (thinking): What?

Noah (thinking): Can you imagine what a bitch it would have been if I had to vote her off later?

JP: Today’s challenge is a reward and immunity challenge.

Peter: Hehe, they are already sick of us. They are speeding things up.

Sylar: Honey pie, would you let the man talk?

Peter: *raises eyebrow*
JP: First things first. Tribe Unopu, please hand back the immunity idol.

Peter: Ooops, forgot to bring it.

Peter: *teleports*

Peter: Here you go Jeff!

Nikki and Sylar: *Make out*

Elle: Seriously!

Nikki: Jealous much?

JP: Can you guys stop talking for a second and actually pay attention to me?!!!!!!!!!

Mohinder: Mr. Probst I really don’t think such outbursts are good for your blood pressure.

JP: Huh?

JP: Anyway, Immunity, back up for grabs.

JP: This challenge is another obstacle course. One rope that is cast over this lake with two smaller ropes to hold on. Again, who gets everyone across in the fastest time has won. But we here at survivor have learned from our experiences with you.

Noah: Must have been a steep learning curve….

JP: We will have to have even numbers. So one person from Unopu will have to sit out. This person will be the Haitian. He will make sure you all can’t use your powers.

Everyone: Oh shit!!!!!!

JP: Wanna know what you are playing for?

Noah: Please, let it be my gun!

JP: Blankets and pillows.

Adam: Who needs that stuff?

Elle: You can do a lot of fun stuff under those.

Adam: Poor thing, alone with seven men, and nobody wants to do you.

West: I wanna…
Elle: *zaps West*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And they are off, Adam and Nathan scale over the ropes with no problem whatsoever.
They make record time. Next up are Hiro and Peter. Oh yeah, lots of fast muscle action from Peter. Hiro is a bit more cautious, but he is also really fast.
Next up: Elle and Claire. And they go for it! Wow, that is some fast balancing across the ropes. Oh, Elle slides, but she is not giving up! She makes it! Next up Matt and Bob. And, look at Matt going! That policeman training must have been good for something. But Bob is not bad either. A little wobbly, but he is getting there! Now Nikki and Noah are battling it out. That is one fast lady. Oh no! Noah loses his balance and falls! And he is back up again! But that was valuable time lost! Now Sylar and West are moving across. Sylar can make up time, but West hops across like a carefree Peter Pan. Last are Mohinder and Ando. And Mohinder really gets a move on! Ando is fast, but boy that long legged professor is amazing on the ropes! And with that, Pesored wins the challenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unopu: *groans*

Pesored: *screams and hugs*

JP: Pesored, come on over here and get your immunity idol and your blankets.

JP: Unopu, I have nothing for you. You may head back to camp now. See you at tribal council.

At camp Unopu

Peter: That sucked royally!!!!!

Adam: Yeah! Company man can’t walk the line. W T F???
Noah: Shut up!!

Matt: You are in no position to shut anybody up!!!

Haitian (calmly) : Quiet, all of you.

West: I’m hungry.

Ando: Even I know that your timing sucks.

Noah: I am going for a walk.

Haitian, Elle and West follow Noah.

Adam: So Ando, wanna go fishing with me?

Ando: Oh, ok……

Peter and Matt go rest in the sun.

Peter: You know what they are up to?

Matt: It’s pretty obvious.

Peter: So, what are we gonna do?

Matt: We?

Peter: It would make sense.

Matt: *snores*

Peter: *chews a bit of a straw and basks in the sun*

Adam and Ando return.

Ando: I caught a fish, I caught a fish, I caught a fish!

Adam: Yes, yes, yes, one carp caught another. *rolls eyes*

Ando: Carp?

Adam: Long story….

Noah, the Haitian, Elle and West return too.

Peter: So, how was the strategizing?

Everyone: *Silence*

Peter: Decided to get rid of box of rocks?

Elle: How?

Peter: Yeah I know what you guys call me behind my back.

Noah: So much for that.

Haitian: I didn’t like the idea anyway.

West: But we still are an alliance, aren’t we?

Haitian: *slaps hand to forehead, shakes head*

Later that evening at the tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council!

Tribe Unopu: *walks in*

JP: First things first. Grab a torch and light it. In this game fire means life. Once your torch is gone, so are you.

*Everybody grabs a torch*

Elle: *zaps it on*

JP: Please sit down.

Ando: My torch won’t light.

Adam: Poor little man.

JP: Now that was quite interesting to see you struggle like ordinary people. And you lost.

Peter: Yeah, Noah is so lost without his powers. *rolls eyes*

JP: About that Noah, How do you feel now?

Noah: How do I feel? What kind of stupid question is that? Are you sending me to therapy now?

Adam: He could certainly use it. (in singsong voice) Mr. Probst, my wife loves my dog more than me. *snickers*

Noah: Just you wait!

JP: Calm down please!

Matt: This is quite entertaining.

West: Do we vote now?

JP: We might as well. Haitian, you’re up!

Voting ensues. Flames, pens, frogs, snakes, parchment folding, getting up and sitting down shots.

JP: Once I go tally the votes, the decision is final and the tribe member will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

Elle to West: He will blow your torch.

West: What?

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Noah. One vote Noah

Second vote: Adam

Third vote: Noah. Two votes Noah, one vote Adam.

Fourth vote: The Haitian

Fifths vote: Elle

Sixths vote: Peter

Seventh vote: Adam. Two votes Noah, two votes Adam. One vote for pretty much everybody else.

*reads vote number 8* : The second person voted off survivor Heroes is Adam!

Adam: WHAT?????

JP: Adam, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Adam: I’ll outlive you all!

West: Weren’t we supposed to vote for Peter?

Elle: *zaps*

Voting slip shots for the Adam vote:

Haitian: (Parchment says Elle) I hate you.

Peter: (Parchment says Adam) I trusted you once, won’t happen again.

Elle: (Parchment says Noah) Stings like a bitch doesn’t it?

Matt: (Parchment says Haitian) You creep me out!

Noah: (Parchment says Adam) Longevity is not all that impressive, dude.

West: (Parchment says Peter) I vote with my alliance!

Adam: (Parchment says Noah) I never liked company men.

Ando: (Parchment says Adam) I am NOT a carp!

Back at camp Unopu:

Noah: West, come here for a second.

West: Uh-oh

Noah: *pokes West in the chest* Let… me… explain… this… game… to… you… a… bit… more.

West: Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!

Noah: You MORON!!!!!!!! When will you learn to shut up??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

West: OK! *runs*

Peter: That was fun. Hehe, “I’ll outlive you all”. I kinda doubt that.

Elle: Man, I need some action.

The Haitian: Which man are you addressing?

Elle: Any man. You wanna?

The Haitian: *shudders*

Elle: Fine! * goes outside the camp area*

Ando: I am happy.

Peter: Yeah you are grinning since tribal.

Ando: I am not a carp!

Peter: Nice to know the details, isn’t it?

Matt: I am going to sleep. Where is my little donut?

Noah: I scared him off. He went that way.

The Haitian: So did Elle.

Noah: Looks like little flyboy is getting lucky tonight.

Peter: If you call that lucky.

Everyone: *nods in agreement*

Meanwhile at Pesored

Hiro: I’m bored.

Bob: You could help Mohinder cook.

Hiro: Not my thing. Besides, Claire is ogling him, I would just be in the way.

Claire: I am not, I am just interested in the recipe, yeah that’s it.

Nathan: Claire, it is all a question of taste.

Hiro: Fl, ahem Nathan, do you know how to handle a Katana?

Nathan: Strangely enough, I do.

Hiro: Yippie! Let’s go sword fighting. I’ll get some sticks.

Nathan: Alright.

Hiro and Nathan: *fight, jump, hiya!*

Claire: Wouldn’t that be stick fighting then?

Bob: I hate teenagers. Hate them, hate them, hate them.

Sylar: Hey Nikki, why so glum?

Nikki: Cheat, liar, ass.

Sylar: My, my, just because I contemplated to check out the pom-pom?

Nikki: Leave me alone!

Nikki: *goes and turns a tree into firewood*

Sylar: What a woman!

Bob: Wait till you see the other one coming out.

Sylar: Huh?

Mohinder: Dinner!

The next day at the challenge location
JP: Welcome to our new challenge.

JP: Come in tribe Pesored:

Tribe Pesored: *walks in, stands on yellow mat*

JP: Take a look at the new tribe Unopu. Adam was voted off at the last tribal council.

Sylar: Whoa!

Hiro: YATTA!!!

Bob: Interesting….

Tribe Unopu: *walks in, stands on mat*

JP: West, what happened to you?

West: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Tribe Unopu: *snicker*

JP: You look like you have small burns all over.

Elle: He does. *grins*

Peter: Ask him to sit down.

West: *winces*

JP: I’d rather not. Moving on…

JP: Todays challenge is a reward challenge. Wanna know what you are playing for?

Heroes: *mumble*

JP: The winning tribe can spend time with these people: Come on in!

In walk: Hiro’s sister Kimiko, Angela Petrelli, Lyle, Molly, Micah and two super models.

Angela: Oh Nathan, my son, my firstborn, my greatest achievement!

Nathan: Hi mom.
Peter: Hey mom!

Angela: Hi Pete.

Molly: Daddy!!!!!

Matt and Mo: Molly!!!!!

Micah: Mom, are you you?

Nikki: Oh yes, my superduper kiddo!

Lyle: Hi dad, Claire.

Noah: Hi.

Claire: Whatever.

Kimiko: *bows*

JP: Sylar, West and Haitian, we could not find any family members of yours willing to come here. Therefore we got you some super models.

Sylar: Sweet!

Bob: And what about Elle and me?

JP: You can visit each other.

Bob: No fair!!!

Elle: Yeah, no fair!!!!

JP: Let’s get to the challenge.

JP: For todays challenge you will have to eat the delicacies of this island. Those include fried cockroaches, spiders, larvae and monkey brain.

Sylar: That brain is MINE!

JP: The tribes will go at it one on one, and who has the fastest times, will win.

Peter: Give Sylar the cockroaches, I am sure he will not eat his brothers.

Claire: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
JP: Let’s divide you up into pairs.

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: First up are Nathan and Peter with a nice dish of fried spiders. And they get going, both chewing frantically and wolfing it down.

Angela: Nathan! Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!

JP: And it is a very close race, both finish almost at the same time!

JP: Next are Hiro and the Haitian, they get some juicy maggots. Hiro is clearly fidgeting, but the Haitian just calmly gulps them down. Hiro now getting into it too. But the Haitian has the lead.

JP: Next up Elle and Claire. Fried cockroaches are on the menu for the girls. Both seem reluctant to go at it.

Noah: Claire! Claire! Claire Claire!

Matt: Dude, she is on the opposing team.

Noah: Sorry, got carried away.

JP: And the girls bite into it. Both grinding their teeth through it and Elle finishes first.

West: She always does.

JP: Next up are West and Mo. They get fried locusts.

West: Ahhhh, it is still moving!

JP: Mo is eating and West is trying to kill his fried locusts. Mo the clear winner here.

JP: So far, tribe Pesored is in the lead! Now it is up to Matt and Nikki to battle it out! Larvae is the dish of choice for them. And both are eating. Matt is just a little bit faster than Nikki and making up time for Unopu.

JP: Now we have Sylar and Noah. Those two will sink their teeth into the monkey brains.

Sylar: Yes!!!!!!

JP: And, wow, Sylar is one mean eating machine! Noah is trying to keep up, but no chance. It looks very good for Pesored.

Angela: Oh boy, oh boy!

JP: Last are Ando and Bob. Those two are facing live caterpillars. Ando looks queasy, but he is going ahead and eating. Bob is just staring at them.

Hiro: Bob! Bob! Bob?

Bob: I am not gonna do it.

Tribe Pesored: What? We are winning! You better get moving, spoonboy!

Bob: The reward is not worth the effort.

JP: Is that your final decision?

Bob: Yes.

JP: And with that, Unopu wins the reward challenge. Take your guests to your camp. There will be a big feast waiting for you with foods you will actually like.

Unopu: *Jubilates*

JP: Pesored, you may head back to camp now.

Sylar: I am full!

Angela: Peter, my son, I love you!

Peter: Mom, just go home.

At camp Pesored

Sylar: That monkey had no special abilities whatsoever. *scratches himself under armpits*

Mohinder: *pulls locust bits out of his teeth*

Sylar: Man, I would have loved to have some nice time with them super models…

Nathan: Yeah, me too.

Nikki: I wonder what mommy dearest would have said to that.

Nathan: Screw her.

Bob: I’d like to.

Nathan: *decks Bob*

Hiro: Wow, strong hand.

Nathan:* while holding his hand and grimacing* Thanks!

Bob (from the ground): You’re just like your father.

Nikki: You had it coming, man. I should kick your ass twice round camp. I wanted to hug my little Micah.

Bob: Think about it. The tribe with the guests will be much more distracted and less able to win the immunity challenge! I did us all a favor!

Hiro: Speak for yourself. Ando is probably feeling up my sister right now!

Mohinder: *throws up*

Claire: Eww, keep it together!

Mohinder: Leave me alone, or I’ll inject you with something!

Meanwhile at Unopu

Noah: Party! Party!Party!

Elle: This is some great food!

Matt: Molly, I think we need to go a little away from all the other grown-ups.

Molly: Yeah, they are pretty drunk.

Ando: Conga line!

Kimiko: *does the Conga dance*

Peter: *Caressing the super model* You know, I have powers.

Super model: Huh?

Peter: Who cares? *Pulls super model into the hut*

Super model: *giggles*

West: Dammit! Dammit! Two hot chicks at camp and now I have a burned….

Haitian: One of them is mine.

West: But you are not doing anything with her!

Haitian: She is still mine.

Noah: *sings* Party all the time, party all the tiiiiiimeeeee!

In the morning at the challenge location

JP: Welcome to our immunity challenge.

*Tribe Unopu walks in, stands on mat.*

*Tribe Pesored walks in, stands on mat.*

JP: Tribe Unopu, that was some party the other night. I heard you had fun.

Peter: I feel good! *stretches*

Noah: Yeah, real good! *stretches too*

Ando: *grins*

JP: So Matt, looks like you missed some action.

Matt: Not really. After Molly went to sleep, I had a great time.

JP: She must be a pretty deep sleeper.

Matt: Yep, she is. Even the yodeling didn’t wake her.

JP: Who yodeled?

Matt: *grins* Who didn’t?

JP: Well tribe Pesored, you didn’t win the reward, but you did win immunity last time. So, please hand back the immunity idol.

Claire: *hands over several clay pieces*

JP: What is this?

Claire: The immunity idol. It kinda slipped out of my hands.

JP: I don’t believe this!

Nathan: I guess she is used to things fixing themselves.

JP: Whatever. Immunity, back up for grabs.

JP: This challenge is a simple archery challenge. We have bows, arrows and targets. Whichever tribe gets the most bullseyes, wins. Should you get the arrow into the target by any other means, be it telekinesis, or flying it over, or whatever else strange things you all do, you will be disqualified.

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: First up are Hiro and Elle. They aim, and bullseye for Hiro and bullseye for Elle. That was precision right there.

JP: Next are Sylar and Matt: Wow, both also have no problem getting their bullseye shot in.

JP: Now Nathan and the Haitian go up shooting arrows. And Nathan gets it almost. He is only a few millimeters from the red circle , but still not there. The Haitian has the bullseye right there.

JP: Next up are Claire and West. And Claire gets it on target, but misses the bullseye. And West. West what are you doing? West releases the arrow and it lands halfway across the path.

West: I think I pulled a muscle!

Noah: If you had any muscles, your arrow would have gone all the way

JP: Next up are Nikki and Peter. Bullseye for both! And Nikkis arrow breaks the target. She should help the little guy out sometime.

JP: Now Bob and Noah battle it out. Bullseye for both of them too. I have never seen so many people hit the target!

Noah: You might want to visit a shooting range sometime.

JP: Last are Mohinder and Ando: Ando shoots and gets the target. Not bullseye, but nicely there. Mohinder is caught in the bow. Mohinder is trying to free himself. Mohinder breaks the bow. So much for that Mohinder. No, throwing the arrow won’t help you either. Stop, just stop!

JP: Tribe Unopu wins it’s second immunity challenge. Come here and get your immunity idol, or what’s left of it

JP: Tribe Pesored, I have nothing for you. Head on back to camp. See you at tribal council tonight.

At the tribal council grounds that night

JP: Welcome back to tribal council, tribe Pesored.

Pesored: *Walks in, grabs torches, lights them.*

JP: Grab a to…oh, you know the drill.

JP: So, you guys lost twice in a row now. First the reward and then the immunity challenge. Morale at camp must be an issue.

Nathan: The morale at camp is excellent.

Sylar: Yep.

JP: Oh really?

Claire: Look, I have a snake bite.

Hiro: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, snake!!!!!!!!!!!!

Claire: Whoops, it’s gone.

JP: Mohinder, what do you think will happen tonight?

Mohinder: Huh?

JP: What are you thinking about Mohinder?

Mohinder: *tousles a lock of his hair* I seriously need a good conditioner right about now.

JP: OK, that was not the answer I was looking for…

Sylar: Where did you get that monkey brain? I like monkey brain.

JP: Bob, do you think the tribe will hold it against you that you messed up the reward challenge?

Bob: No, I don’t think so.

Nikki: Speak for yourself.

Hiro: Yeah, you don’t really care about winning this, or the money. You can make your own money.

Bob: It is not about the money.

Mohinder: It isn’t?

Bob: No, it is about strategy and cunning. But why am I telling you this? You get outwitted by a simple bow.

Mohinder: But I am a better daddy than you are.

Claire: My dad is the best!

Nathan: Thanks!

Claire: Not you! I mean my badass daddy in the other tribe.

Nathan: Oh you mean,Mr. Karaoke king.

JP: Alright, I have heard enough. It is now time for you to vote. Sylar, you’re up!

Voting ensues. Flames, pens, frogs, snakes, parchment folding, getting up and sitting down shots.

JP: Once I go tally the votes, the decision is final and the tribe member will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Bob

JP: Second vote: Mohinder

JP: Third vote: Bob. That’s two votes Bob, one vote Mohinder.

JP: Fourth vote: Sylar.

Sylar: *has a laughing fit*

JP: Fifths vote: Mohinder. Two votes Bob, two votes Mo.

JP: Sixths vote: Bob. Three votes Bob, two votes Mo.

JP: Seventh vote: Bob.

JP: 3rd Person voted out of Survivor is Bob.

JP: Bob, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Bob: *mumbles something nobody can understand*

Hiro: Hiya!!!!!!!!!!!! *slam*

JP: What the heck was that?

Hiro: I hate snakes. *holds up dead snake*

JP: Head back to camp, please.

Voting slip shots for the Bob vote:

Sylar: (Parchment says Bob) Goldfinger! *grins*

Hiro: (Parchment says Bob): You talk too much.

Nathan: (Parchment says Mohinder and is spelled wrong) I don’t want you anywhere near my daughter.

Claire: (Parchment says Bob) Yeah, just ewwww.

Mohinder: (Parchment says Sylar) You need to go.

Bob: (Parchment says Mohinder) You are too stupid for your own good.

Nikki: (Parchment says Bob) One word: Micah

The next day at camp Pesored

Hiro: Party, party, party!

Claire: Why so chipper?

Hiro: I just did’t like gold digger man.

Claire: Don’t even try to outparty my dad. You’ll lose.

Hiro: Karaoke comes from my country, you know. *grins*

Nathan: *Skids in with treemail*

Sylar: Looky here, the postman commeth.

Nikki: *reads*
Test your knowledge and your skills.
The elements will guide you.
Dive down deep and go up the hills.
And a reward will find you.

Nathan: They should get someone better to do these rhymes. Seriously.

Hiro: I like them. Is simple.

Mo: Sylar, what is the problem, you are all pale.

Sylar: Nothing. *walks away*

Claire: Looks like Mr. Cool is scared.

Mo: *grins*

Nathan: *yells* Sylar, come back here this minute and use your words!

Claire: You sound like my dad.

Nathan: I AM your dad.

Claire: Whatever….

Sylar: We’re gonna lose this challenge.

Everyone: Why????????

Sylar: Because, because, well…

Hiro: Say it!

Sylar: I can’t swim!

Hiro: WHAT?

Nikki: You can’t be serious!

Mo: *laughs uncontrollably*

Claire: Are you telling me, that you, Mr. Badass, I eat people for breakfast, Sylar guy can’t keep his head above water?

Sylar: Yes.

Hiro: You idiot!!!!

Sylar: Watch it! And I just never got around to it.

Nikki: Then you have to learn it now, before we go to the challenge.

Sylar: How?

Claire: I can teach you. It is pretty simple.

Nathan: I don’t think this is a good idea. What if he gets onery?

Claire: I’ll drown him.

Sylar: That’s nice!

Hiro: Why can’t you just eat a fish brain? Then you would know how to swim.

Sylar: Yeah, that would work, IF I HAD GILLLS!!!!!!

Hiro: Sorry.

Mo: I am a very good swimmer.

Nathan: So?

Mo: I am better at something than him.

Nathan: Very impressive, Mo. Now go and sit in the hut like a nice little boy.

Nikki: I’ll teach you.

Sylar: Thanks.

Hiro: *sings* Hakuna Matata, it’s a wonderfull phrase….

Meanwhile at Unopu

Noah: Where are Peter and West?

Elle: They are having a flying competition.

Noah: That is a total waste of energy.

Haitian: No, that is is seriously funny. *grins*

Ando: Why?

Haitian: Because Peter turns invisible from time to time and makes West lose his pants.

Elle: That sounds porny.

Matt: No, it doesn’t.

Haitian: Elle, shut up.

Elle: &/%()?%$$& (some very bad words)

Matt: *stares at Elle*

Elle: I’ll go find a tree and sit in it now to comb my hair.

Haitian: Thanks Matt.

Matt: No problem.

Noah: It does sound a bit porny.

Matt: No it doesn’t. It was my idea.

Peter: *Skids in with treemail.*

Ando: Did you lose West?

Peter: *grins*

Matt: *reads*

Noah: What does it say?

Matt: New challenge is coming up. We have to swim and climb for a reward.

Peter: Sounds easy enough.

Elle: Why am I in this tree?

Peter: Yeah, why is she up there?

Matt: Because she looks good up there.

Haitian: As opposed to down here.

Peter: Ah, erm, oh, yeah, yeah. Nice place.

Noah: *chuckles*

Peter: *zaps Noah*

Noah: You little pampered box of…!!!

Peter: TK’s Noah.

Noah: That was more stupid than you will ever realize.

Elle: Can someone help me down from here?

Everyone: No!

Matt: *stares at Noah*

Noah: Come on Ando, let’s get some water.

Haitian: Man, don’t ever stare at me.

Matt: You don’t need staring at.

Peter: I think I’ll go tan now.

Haitian: (quietly) Yeah, a tan box.

Matt: *grins*

At the challenge location

JP: Welcome to the next challenge. Come in Unopu.

Unopu: *walks in, stands on mat*

JP: Haitian, why do you stare and squint at me like that?

Haitian: Oh, nothing, just experimenting…

JP: Stop that.

Matt: *chuckles*

JP: Anyway, take a look at the new tribe Pesored. Bob got voted off at the last tribal council.

Pesored: *walks in, stands on mat*

Everyone: *Looks at Elle*

Elle: *daydreams*

JP: Allright, lets get to the challenge.

Nathan: Why don’t we just have a stripping competition? All that running and throwing and whatnot is seriously boring.

Noah: *starts singing* I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my…

JP: No we won’t! Noah, Put that shirt back on!

Noah: Watch it Mr. Host guy! And who allowed you to call me Noah in the first place? I am HRG to you!

JP: No you’re not. Next time you sign up for a reality show, read the fine print.

Noah: I guess he got me there. *hums Too Sexy*

Claire: I am bored.

Peter: So you rather watch your dad stripping?

Claire: Or maybe my uncle? *grins*

Peter: *raises eyebrow*

JP: This is supposed to be PG 13!!!

Mo: Blood pressure!

JP: My blood pressure is not the issue here!

Mo: Healthy living IS important.

Ando: I don’t feel so good.

Sylar: I can make you feel…nothing.

Ando: That is not something either of us would enjoy very much.

Sylar: Oh yeah, I forgot, what would I want with your brain?

JP: The challenge consists of a tug of war. You will have to heave a float on a rope over a hill down to the beach. Then you will get the float into the water. You will then paddle out and dive for four boxes that are anchored in the water. Those boxes contain puzzle pieces.

Sylar: Not rocks? *grins*

Peter: Very funny, caterpillar face.

JP: Once you collected all the boxes, you will head back to shore. Then you will have to finish the puzzle. First tribe to come up with the solution to the puzzle wins a handsome reward.

Mo: Can you say that again? I am confused.

West: Me too.

Hiro: Me three. And I am the smart one.

JP: Nope, no repeating.

Sylar: *dances around* I don’t need to swi-im, I don’t need to swi-im!!!

Nikki: Great job, telling them your weakness.

Sylar: Well….crap.

Matt: Can you say anything more about the reward, other than that it is handsome?

JP: Sure, excuse my manners.

JP: The winning tribe will keep the float. And the winning tribe will receive a feast, including a karaoke machine, as you guys all love to sing so much.

Noah: Sweet!

Hiro: Yatta!!!

Everyone else: *groans*

Mo: I still don’t know what we are supposed to do.

Nathan: That might be for the best.

JP: Survivors, ready or not! Go!!!!!

JP: And they are off!

JP: Pesored and Unopu are both digging in and pulling the floats on the earthy ground. All are putting a lot of effort into this. Amazing what a karaoke machine means to these people!

JP: Pesored has a bit of a lead as Nikki is really pulling her weight and then some. …..Wait a minute!

Nikki: Sorry!

JP: Nikki, you just disqualified yourself from this challenge. Be happy your tribe is still in the game.

JP: On second thought, Peter, please come over here too.

Peter: I didn’t cheat!

JP: But you could.

Peter: No fair.

JP: Darn, I forgot commenting!

JP: Both tribes are now almost up the hill. Yes, they both got the floats up. Now they need to get them down to the beach.

JP: Unopu looks pretty wiped out already. Matt, West, and Ando are holding their stitches, but Noah is unrelenting.

JP: Pesored is also exhausted. But now they are sitting on the float and use it as a sleigh. That can’t work. But it does? That is weird.

JP: Unopu pushes the float down and is gaining on the sleigh party. Now they are all in the water.

Peter: Let me go back!

JP: Alright.

JP: Both tribes paddle out and quickly approach the flags where the boxes are anchored.

JP: Now Peter and Hiro dive. They come up with the boxes and heave them on board.

JP: Off they paddle to the next flag. Now the Haitian and Nathan take a dive. Nathan slightly faster than the Haitian, but both got what they wanted and keep going.

JP: Now they are approaching the third flag. Noah and Mo go in. They have a very tight race. Both get the boxes on board. But no! the Haitian lets it slip out of his hands and off the other side of the float!

JP: Now Peter, Noah and the Haitian are diving like crazy to get the box back!

JP: Pesored approaches the last flag fast. But nobody dives into the water. What the?

JP: Mo and Sylar are arguing. Oh my lanta, I didn’t think Mo could even look that angry! Now Mo is pushing Sylar into the water. Sylar sputters and holds on to the float. All the other tribe members are trying to keep Mo away and get Sylar back on the float. Now Mo jumps into the water and he is dunking Sylar in. Why in the world is he doing that? Sylar doesn’t look so good.

JP: Meanwhile Unopu got their box back and is heading for the fourth flag. They are getting there and Matt dives in. He can’t reach it and comes up for air. Elle goes now and it looks like she made it! Unopu is paddling back!

JP: At the Pesored float people are still having an under water brawl, but Claire jumped in and retrieved the last box. Nathan is getting everyone in line and now they are paddling back.

JP: Unopu reaches the beach and the puzzle table. Everyone crowds around the pieces and is very frantic.

JP: Pesored also reaches the puzzle table and goes to work. Actually, only Hiro goes to work and he solves it right away. Yes, this is correct, the word you were supposed to get is “special”!

JP: And with this, Pesored wins the reward challenge!!!!!

JP: That was quite interesting out there.

Sylar: It will have interesting consequences.

JP: Pesored, your reward will be at camp for you, but you are not ready to enjoy it yet.

Pesored: Huh?

JP: Unopu, you have another chance to come out a winner today. As for now we will start our surprise immunity challenge.

Everyone: WHAT????

JP: Hehe.

JP: Both tribes will sit down on their assigned benches over here and I will ask a series of questions. The tribe who has the most answers right, wins immunity.

Both tribes: *go sit down, take up a chalk board and some chalk.*

JP: Survivors ready, go!

JP: True or false: Are there poisonous snakes on this island?

JP: Reveal!

JP: Pesored says true, Unopu says true. Both are right. One point each.

JP: What is the name of the capital of this island?

Peter: Can I buy a vowel?

JP: No you can’t.

Nathan: *Laughs himself silly*

JP: Reveal!

JP: Pesored got it right! No such luck for Unopu.

JP: How many people on the two original tribes were related?

Claire: Huh’?

Noah: My oh my. *shakes head*

JP: Reveal!

JP: Yes, the number we were looking for is eight.

JP: Again, Pesored got it right. Unopu is two behind. Pesored, if you get the next question right, you got immunity!

JP: How many powers does Peter have?

Sylar: That is one weird question, dude.

JP: Weird is that you can eat brains.

Sylar: You got a point. *grins*

JP: Reveal!

Peter: I don’t wanna. It’s private.

JP: If you don’t comply, you forfeit.

Haitian: We forfeit.

Rest of Unopu: What????

Haitian: It’s the honorable thing to do.

JP: Alright!

JP: Pesored also wins the immunity challenge. Pesored, you can now celebrate two victories and as a twist, you can choose one member of Unopu to go with you to celebrate. That member will be safe from tonights vote.

Nathan: Peter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rest of Pesored: *groan*

JP: Pesored and Peter, have fun with the karaoke machine, Unopu, I have nothing for you, head back to camp.

Somewhere in the bushes around camp Unopu…

HRG: ARE YOU EFFING CRAZY????????????????????

Haitian: Some people have come to that conclusion.

HRG: Forfeit? Forfeit? Forfeit?????

Haitian: Do you have a word repeat sickness?

HRG: %$§&

Haitian: Calm down.

HRG: Don’t tell me to calm down! You made us lose the effing challenge!

Haitian: I don’t think so.

HRG: What?

Haitian: Are you really sure Peter knows about all the powers he has?

HRG: You got a point…Wait, the company knows.

Haitian: I am not so sure. Bob is rather lax in keeping tabs on everybody. I mean, you are still around…

HRG: But even so. We could have been right. We could be save right now!

Haitian: Maybe…

HRG: You kill me with your enthusiasm here.

Haitian: Let’ go back to camp.

HRG: No, we need to talk. I want Matt to go.

Haitian: No.

HRG: Yes. Matt has to go. I have been sent tapdancing and water lugging for the last time!

Haitian: The tap dancing was Peter..

HRG: …with Matt’s ability.

Haitian: True.

HRG: Think about it. Matt can control everybody. If we don’t get rid of him soon, he will be always the one with immunity, because we will all just hand it to him in the individual challenges.

Haitian: I don’t think he is as powerful as you say. He doesn’t think about the game that much.

HRG: How do you know?

Haitian: He openly uses his power and makes the likes of you nervous.

HRG: Yes, but what if he does it to make you think he doesn’t care when he does care, but makes it look like he doesn’t care?

Haitian: Come again?

HRG: You’re right. Not Matt.

Haitian: So we agree to not vote him off?

HRG: No, we don’t. I want him gone!

Haitian: He keeps me sane.

HRG: You know, we used to be a team. What happened to that?

Haitian: You used me quite ambitiously for your advantage.

HRG: You did not suffer for it.

Haitian: You know, we are not at work here. I can do what I want.

HRG: Damn, I miss my gun.

Haitian:Let’s forget about this whole conversation, shall we? *Raises hand*

HRG: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That evening at tribal council

JP: Welcome to tribal council.

Unopu: *Walks in, grabs torches, lights them, sits down*

JP: You don’t like when I talk, do you?

Haitian: Do you want an honest answer?

JP: Not necessary.

Matt: Why don’t you serve us some donuts?

JP: Coming right up!

JP: ?????? Wait a minute!

Matt: Hihi.

West: Am I not good enough anymore?

Matt: Oh yes you are. At least until the merge.

West: Another merge?

Matt: Shhhh

JP: What?

Noah: I feel fuzzy.

Elle: You look like a plucked aardvark.

Noah: Oh really?

JP: Haitian, you gave away a chance to win this immunity challenge.

Haitian: I don’t think I did.

JP: What does the rest of the tribe think?

Elle: I don’t care. There are too many boring guys in this tribe anyway.

West: I vote with my alliance!!

JP: Noah, what do you think?

Noah: It kinda feels like deja vue all over again.

JP: I am not going to try to figure this one out.

JP: It is time for you to vote. Ando you are up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

JP: I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Ando

JP: Second vote: Elle

JP: Third vote: Ando. That is two votes Ando, one vote Elle.

Noah: If I had a way to fast forward, I would.

JP: Fourth vote: Ando

JP: Fifths vote: Ando. That is enough. Fourth person voted out of survivor is Ando. Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Ando: Thank you!*leaves*

Noah: I still want that karaoke machine!

JP: Just go back to camp.

Voting slips for the Ando vote:

Ando: (parchment says Elle) You are way too bitchy for my taste.

Noah: (parchment says Ando) I still feel fuzzy.

Elle: (parchment says Ando) Buh bye little man.

Matt: (parchment says Ando) Sorry, I really liked you.

West: (parchment says Ando) I vote with my alliance!

Haitian: (parchment says Ando) I am sorry. You were the lowest common denominator.

Meanwhile at camp Pesored:

Sylar: They gave us lots of wine. Sweet!

Claire: Oh, crepes! I love crepes!

Nathan: Hey man, how are you holding up?

Peter: Not bad. Not bad. West is keeping the little bitch away from me and everyone else is kinda agreeable.

Nathan: Seriously?

Hiro: Stop talking! Plug it in! Plug it in!

Claire: Yeah an air freshener would be good right now.

Hiro: Huh?

Claire: You stink.

Hiro: Who cares! I want my music!

Sylar: Look him jumping up and down like a little carp. Adam had a point.

Mo: Ok, this cable is supposed to go here. That plug needs to go in there, no maybe somewhere else. This could also fit here.

Nathan: For crying out loud, who let you get to be in charge of this. *Plugs the karaoke machine in.* There!

Hiro: I am first!

Sylar: I need more wine!

Nikki: I won’t sing.

Mo: Awwwwwwwww, please?

Nikki: Well maybe.

Claire: hmpsgfklsm *chews about 3 crepes at the same time*

Peter: Very attractive.

Claire: Sorry. I just wanted to say I know a song.

Sylar: *applauds exactly twice*

Hiro sings:

Yahoo! This is your celebration
Yahoo! This is your celebration

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on! (Let’s celebrate)

There’s a party goin’ on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

Sylar: He knows another word that starts with Y. I thought all he could say was Yatta.

Peter: That was mean!

Sylar: What, too private?

Peter: You are so not worth it.

Sylar: *shrugs*

Hiro *keeps singing*:

Celebration
Let’s all celebrate and have a good time
Celebration
We gonna celebrate and have a good time

It’s time to come together
It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure

Everyone around the world
Come on!

Yahoo! It’s a celebration
Yahoo!

Celebrate good times, come on!
It’s a celebration
Celebrate good times, come on!
Let’s celebrate

We’re gonna have a good time tonight
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
We’re gonna have a good time tonight
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right

Baby…

We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion)
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion)
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right

Nikki: He reminds me of that worst on American Idol guy.

Nathan: He is not that bad.

Mo: *hums along*

Hiro: *finishes song*

Hiro: Mo, you’re next!

Mo: Oooooooo, fun!

Claire: Take your shirt off!

Nathan: No more wine for you, young lady!

Mo:*takes shirt off*

Mo *sings*:

There’s a lady who’s sure
All that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven.

Theres a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
There’s a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are missgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

Theres a feeling I get
When I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

Sylar: Whats with him and all the complications and wondering?

Nikki: Shut it! I like that song!

Peter: *giggles*

Mo *keeps singing*:

And its whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If theres a bustle in your hedgerow
Don’t be alarmed now,
Its just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
Theres still time to change the road youre on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it wont go
In case you don’t know,
The pipers calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

Claire: *snores*

Mo *lets it all out*:

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll!!!!

Claire: What? I’m awake, I’m awake!

Peter: That was really not too shabby.

Mo: Thanks.

Hiro: Sylar, come on!

Sylar: Who? Me?

Hiro: Yes, yes, yes!

Sylar: Alright!

Sylar: *is about to start*

Mo: Hold on, I forgot something!

Mo *sings*:

And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.

Nikki: Awwwww!

Sylar: May I?

Mo: Sure, sink or swim!

Sylar *sings*:

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song …

Hiro: Somehow I knew he would sing something with the word ‘killing’ in it.

Nathan: He has smooth voice though.

Claire: Where is the rap part?

Nathan: I think this is the Roberta Flag version.

Claire: Who is that?

Peter: Even I know that!

Nathan: Well you got a nice music education from me. *Winks*

Sylar *continues*:

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn’t there.
But he just came to singing, singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song …

He was strumming, oh, he was singing my song.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song …
With his song …

Nikki: That was cute. *kisses Sylar*

Sylar: *grins* If that gives me some action, I will sing all night.

Nathan: What we need now is some more up tempo stuff!

Hiro: Go ahead!

Peter: Don’t encourage him!

Hiro: Why not?

Peter: You’ll see….

Hiro: It is fun!

Peter: *is embarrassed already*

Nathan *sings*:

It’s Close To Midnight And Something Evil’s Lurking In The Dark
Under The Moonlight You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart
You Try To Scream But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It
You Start To Freeze As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes,
You’re Paralyzed

Mo: What? Did he see Bob?

Claire: Don’t remind me! Ewwwwww!

Nathan: Peter, come up here! You need to dance with me!

Peter: Nope!

Nathan *sings*:

‘Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
And No One’s Gonna Save You From The Beast About
Strike
You Know It’s Thriller, Thriller Night
You’re Fighting For Your Life Inside A Killer, Thriller
Tonight

Sylar: I like this song

Nikki: No surprise there.

Nathan: *continues*

You Hear The Door Slam And Realize There’s Nowhere Left To Run
You Feel The Cold Hand And Wonder If You’ll Ever See The Sun
You Close Your Eyes And Hope That This Is Just
Imagination
But All The While You Hear The Creature Creepin’ Up
Behind
You’re Out Of Time

Hiro: Sylar, I think he is singing about you.

Sylar: *grins*

Nathan: Peter come up here now!

Peter: Ok, ok, but I won’t sing.

Nathan: Not necessary with this one.

Peter and Nathan: * doing the Thriller dance as Nathan sings*

‘Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
There Ain’t No Second Chance Against The Thing With
Forty Eyes
You Know It’s Thriller, Thriller Night
You’re Fighting For Your Life Inside Of Killer, Thriller Tonight

Night Creatures Call
And The Dead Start To Walk In Their Masquerade
There’s No Escapin’ The Jaws Of The Alien This Time
(They’re Open Wide)
This Is The End Of Your Life

They’re Out To Get You, There’s Demons Closing In On Every Side
They Will Possess You Unless You Change The Number On Your Dial
Now Is The Time For You And I To Cuddle Close Together
All Thru The Night I’ll Save You From The Terror On The Screen,
I’ll Make You See

That This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
‘Cause I Can Thrill You More Than Any Ghost Would Dare To Try
Girl, This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
So Let Me Hold You Tight And Share A Killer, Diller, Chiller
Thriller Here Tonight

Hiro: Nice!!!!

Nathan: This is the way it is done!

Peter: Calm down!

Nathan: You ain’t seen nothing yet!

Claire: And I am the one who can’t have more wine….

Nikki: You have more whine than anybody else.

Claire: What?

Nikki: Forget it.

Hiro: Nikki, don’t argue, sing!
Nikki: If I have to…

Peter: Yes you have to. Otherwise Nathan won’t let go of this thing anymore.

Nathan: Spoilsport!

Nikki *sings*:

Talking away
I don’t know what I’m to say
I’ll say it anyway
today’s another day to find you
Shying away
I’ll be coming for your love O.K.

Take on me
Take me on
I’ll be gone
in a day or two

Hiro: Is she talking about her multiple personalities?

Sylar: Shhhh!

Claire: Ouch! Pitch problems!

Peter: Come on, this is really high.

Nathan: You can do better!

Peter: Shut it!

Nikki*keeps singing*:

So needless to say I’m odds and ends
But that’s me, stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is O.K.
Say after me
It’s no better to be safe than sorry.

Take on me
Take me on
I’ll be gone
in a day or two.

The things that you say
Is it live or just to play
My worries away
You’re all the things I’ve got to remember
You shying away
I’ll be coming for you anyway

Take on me
Take me on
I’ll be gone
in a day or two

Sylar: *Claps frantically*

Nikki: *Blushes and sits down*

Mo: That looked good!

Hiro: That gives me an idea. *gets up and takes the mic* I dedicate the next song to Nikki *Sings*:

She’s a brick—-house
Mighty mighty, just lettin’ it all hang out
She’s a brick—-house
The lady’s stacked and that’s a fact,
ain’t holding nothing back.

She’s a brick—-house
She’s the one, the only one,
who’s built like a amazon
We’re together everybody knows,
and here’s how the story goes.

Nikki: *laughs and spits wine*

Claire: As if. I have more to show than her.

Sylar: It’s all in the presentation. *makes out with Nikki*

Hiro: Claire, what is your song?

Claire: Well, as long as we are dedicating, I dedicate this song to Peter. *Beams*

Peter: Seriously? *raises both eyebrows*

Nathan: That is so wrong.

Sylar: Funny!

Claire *sings*:

Oh Mickey, you’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey…

Nikki: That song is not bad. But that whole cheerleading routine is a bit much.

Peter: *is very embarrassed*

Claire *goes on*:

Hey Mickey
You’ve been around all night and that’s a little long
You think you’ve got the right but I think you’ve got it wrong
Why can’t we say goodnight? So you can take me home, Mickey

Cause when you say you will, it always means you won’t
You’re givin’ me the chills, baby, please baby don’t
Every night you still leave me all alone, Mickey

Hiro: Is she meaning what I think she is meaning?

Sylar: What else could it be?

Mo: So I took my shirt off for nothing???

Claire *really gets into it*:

Oh Mickey, what a pity, you don’t understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Mickey, you’re so pretty, can’t you understand
It’s guys like you, Mickey
Ooh what you do Mickey, do Mickey
Don’t break my heart, Mickey

Hey Mickey
Now when you take me by the… who’s… ever gonna know
Every time you move I let a little more show
There’s something you can use, so don’t say no, Mickey

So come on and give it to me anyway you can
Anyway you want to do it, I’ll take it like a man
Oh please baby, please don’t leave me in this jam Mickey

Oh Mickey, what a pity, you don’t understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Mickey, you’re so pretty, can’t you understand
It’s guys like you, Mickey
Ooh what you do Mickey, do Mickey
Don’t break my heart, Mickey

Nathan: Ummmm

Claire: *sweats and breathes hard and beams*

Hiro: Let me have that mic, thanks.

Sylar: *laughs himself silly*

Nathan: My turn!

Nikki: But you already…

Hiro: Let the man sing!!

Nathan: Peter, I need you.

Peter: How much worse can this get?

Nathan: Come on. I can’t do this without you.

Peter: But I don’t have my hairbrush.

Nathan: You don’t need your hairbrush, you will get a real mic. And besides, I saved your butt tonight from tribal council. Do this for me.

Peter: You got a point. Well, who am I kidding. I knew this was coming all evening.

Nathan: Atta boy!

Nathan and Peter: *take the stage and….

….sing together*

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-

Hiro: There is that word again. Landslide.

Nikki: Shut up!

Peter and Nathan: *continue*

Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-

Nathan:
I’m just a poor boy,I need no sympathy-
Nathan and Peter:
Because I’m easy come,easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesn’t really matter to me,
Nathan:
To me

Nathan:
Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now he’s dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didn’t mean to make you cry-
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-
(Piano)
Hiro: He really got mommy issues, doesn’t he?

Claire: They both do. It’s so sad.

Sylar: Boohoo. He doesn’t even know what he is singing about.

Nikki: What do I need to do here to just get to listen to this song?

Nathan:
Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Body’s aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-I’ve got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo- (Peter: any way the wind blows)
I don’t want to die,
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all-
(Guitar)
Mo: Hey, it’s picking up speed.

Nathan:
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Nathan and Peter:
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-

Claire: Scawhat??

Nathan and Peter:
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Nathan:Galileo,
Peter(Falsetto):Galileo,
Nathan:Galileo
Peter (Falsetto):Galileo
Nathan and Peter: Galileo figaro-magnifico-

Claire: That did not make any sense at all.

Nikki: *decks Claire* uncultured brat.

Nathan:
But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
Peter:
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-

Sylar: As if.

Nathan:
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
Peter:
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-
Nathan:let him go-

Hiro: Bis what?

Peter:
Bismillah! we will not let you go
Nathan: -let him go

Peter:
Bismillah! we will not let you go
Nathan: -let me go

Peter:
Will not let you go
Nathan:-let me go

Peter:
Will not let you go
Nathan:-let me go

Peter:
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Nathan:
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-

Peter and Nathan:
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,
Peter(Falsetto):for me! *He levitates a bit.*

Sylar: That must hurt.

Peter: *Airguitars the heck out of it*

Nathan:
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-can’t do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Mo: Oh I like this part!

Nathan:
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Peter:
Any way the wind blows….

Nikki: That was amazing! Do that again!

Claire: What did I miss?

Hiro: Ok, Peter now is your turn.

Peter: Are you kidding??? I just sang my heart out!

Hiro: But you haven’t done a song by yourself yet.

Peter: Is that a requirement?

Everyone: Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter!

Peter: OK, ok. *Grins*

Sylar: May I suggest your take on ‘Take on me’?

Peter: Nope. We had that one already.

Sylar: He doesn’t deny that he can do it though. *Snickers*

Nathan: Leave my bro alone or you’ll be sorry.

Sylar: Oh, I am so scared now.

Nathan: *grabs Sylar and flies way up high*

Sylar: screeeeeech!

Nathan: *Gets back down*

Nathan: Told ya.

Peter: *chuckles*

Claire: Come on, let’s all get along.

Peter: Alright, that gives me an idea for a song.

Nikki: Go for it!

Peter *sings*:

And I
Never thought I’d feel this way
And as far as I’m concerned I’m glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today
And than if you can’t remember…..

Keep smilin’
Keep shinin’

Knowin’ you can always count on me
for sure
that’s what friends are for

Everybody *joins*:

In good times
And bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

Peter:

Well you came and open me
And now there’s so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you….

Ohhh and then
For the times when we’re apart
Well just close your eyes and know
These words are comming from my heart
And then if you can’t remember….Ohhhhh

Everybody:

Keep smilin’
Keep shinin’

Knowin’ you can always count on me
for sure
that’s what friends are for

In good times
And bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for……..

The next day at the challenge location

JP: Welcome back tribes to the new challenge

Tribe Pesored comes in and stands on mat. Peter stands somewhere beside it.

JP: Peter, come over here please.

Peter: *shrugs, goes over to JP*

Tribe Unopu comes in. Stands on mat.

JP: Let’s take a look at the new tribe Unopu. Ando got voted off at the last tribal council. Peter you can go back to your tribe now. Yes I meant Unopu.

Peter: *goes over*

Hiro: Awwwwww, poor Ando.

Nikki: Yeah, I would have like to ruffle his feathers a bit.

Hiro: Huh?

JP: Let’s move on to our next immunity challenge.

Noah: What, no more reward?

JP: Nope, you guys are having way too much fun!

Elle: No we don’t!

Peter: *grins*

JP: Whatever, immunity, back up for grabs.

Hiro: Wait a sec! *Teleports* Here you go.

JP: This pityfull thing really needs to go.

JP: Listen up! We will have you go up those fake palm trees and hunt for coconuts. The tribe who gathers the most coconuts wins immunity, and can keep the coconuts.

Claire: I hate coconuts.

Elle: I like nuts.

Everybody else: *is roaring with laughter*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: First up are Sylar and Matt. They both climb up and get into the coconuts. Sylar has some and brings them down. Matt just throws them down. Matt is way faster that way. Sylar gets back up and starts throwing too. But he is too late, Matt has gathered all the coconuts in his tree. Time’s over for Sylar!

JP: Next are Claire and Noah.

Noah: Hi Clairebear!

Claire: Hi daddy.

JP: And off they go. Claire is up there in a hurry, but has a bit trouble loosening the coconuts. Noah gets up and just rips the whole tree apart. Both throw like heck.

Mo: Ouch!

JP: Not a good place to stand, Mo.

Mo: I don’t feel so good.

JP: And they both finish at the same time.

Noah: That was Bennet super power!

JP: Yeah, just get back.

JP: Next up are Nikki and Peter. And….Wow, both are done already.

Peter and Nikki: *grin*

JP: Next up are Nathan and the Haitian. Both make their way up. Lovely climbing. They get the coconuts and trow them . Nathan even hangs upside down to work faster. And Nathan finishes just a little faster than the Haitian.

JP: Next up are West and Hiro. They both climb up slowly. What’s the hold up?

Hiro: I am afraid of heights.

West: *giggles, slips, falls*

Hiro: See?

JP: Both are getting up now and start undoing the coconuts. West has trouble getting them off. Hiro manages. Now West gets the hang of it. But too late, Hiro is done.

JP: Last are Mohinder and Elle. Elle robs up the tree.

Sylar: OMG, she needs it bad.

JP: Mo stands in front of his tree.

Mo: I really don’t feel so good. What should I do now?

Pesored: GET UP THAT TREE!!!!!

Mo: Oh, ok.

JP: Now Mo starts digging a hole in front of his tree. WTF? Elle has meanwhile reached the coconuts and throws them down one by one. Mo has proceeded to sit in front of the hole and to meditate. And with that, Elle has thrown the last coconut and tribe Unopu wins the immunity challenge.

Mo: Trees are beautiful.

JP: Poor man, go head back to camp.

Back at camp Unopu:

Noah: So Peter, what did you find out?

Peter: Huh?

Noah: At camp Pesored! What did you do there? What alliances are there? Anything newsworthy?

Peter: We sang. Yeah, mostly we sang.

Noah: That was it???

Peter: We also drank a lot of wine and ate crepes. And Sylar and Nikki made out a lot.

Elle: Ewwwww!

Matt: Look who is talking.

Noah: And Claire? How is she?

Peter: I don’t want to talk about her.

Noah: Huh?

Matt *squints at Peter*: Oh ha!

Peter *squints at Matt*

Matt: Alright dude, sorry!!!!

Peter: I think I need to sleep a bit. *goes to stretch out and takes a nap*

Noah: What was it you saw? Why ‘Oh ha’?

Matt: I really can’t tell you.

Noah: If anything happened to my Claire bear I WILL go postal!

West: What? Anymore than you already are?

Elle: Hihi, that was a good one!

West: *beams*

Elle: Wanna get zapped?

West: Yeah!

At camp Pesored:

Sylar: Hey Mo, how is your brain?

Mo: I have a killer headache.

Sylar: No you don’t.

Nathan: That was bad. Really, really bad.

Nikki: That was the worst challenge ever.

Claire: We were winning!

Hiro: Until you hit him with your coconut you doofus!

Claire: Wasn’t mine!

Hiro: Was too.

Claire: Dammit!

Nathan: Stop swearing!

Claire: Stop pretending to be my dad!

Nathan: I AM YOUR DAD!!!!

Claire: Yeah, nice going for the first 15 years there, dad!

Nathan: That was unfair!

Hiro: QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: *is quiet.*

Sylar: Impressive!

Hiro: *bows*

Nikki: Little man is making it big. *Grins*

Mo: *throws up*

Nathan: I think he has a concussion.

Claire: Nah, he throws up after every challenge.

Mo: That… is not true.

Sylar: At least he won’t sing with his shirt off anytime soon now.

Nathan: His singing was fine.

Nikki: Yeah, I liked it.

Claire: Mine was better.

Nathan: Well, apart from your incestous intentions, it was not bad.

Claire: Huh?

Sylar: Too many big words, Nate. You have to break it down for her.

Nathan: I’d rather not.

Hiro: Oh, look, another piece of the idol!

The Nikki/Jessica voting monologue (dialog?)

Nikki: It is high time to vote Sylar off. He is getting way too dangerous!

Jessica: Are you crazy, b?

Nikki: Funny, you would ask me that.

Jessica: Come on! Sylar is oh so fine. I want him around.

Nikki: Think with your head and not your libido for once.

Jessica: At least I have one.

Nikki: Insulting me is not helping.

Jessica: But it’s fun.

Nikki: It won’t be fun when he is eating our brain.

Jessica: Alright. But let’s have him around a bit longer.

Nikki: Why?

Jessica: Because he keeps me warm at night. Let’s vote Momo off. He is a looser.

Nikki: He can cook and he is not a threat.

Jessica: Who needs food when you can have hot, steamy lovin’?

Nikki: You make as much sense as a hormonal highschooler.

Jessica: You forgot how to spell fun.

Nikki: F. U. N.

Jessica: I think I made my point.

Nikki: Huh?

Jessica: *giggles*

Nikki: Let’s get back to Sybrows. We need to vote him off.

Jessica: Yeah, I know. But not yet.

Nikki: Alright, we wait a little bit longer.

Jessica: And then we mow him down.

Nikki: We actually agree on something?

Jessica: Amazing, isn’t it?

Nikki: Let’s head back to camp.

Jessica: I go wherever you go.

Later that evening at tribal council

JP: Welcome tribe Pesored to another tribal council.

Tribe Pesored: *Walks in, does the torch thing, sits down*

JP: So, how do you guys feel?

Mo: I have a headache.

Nathan: I feel fine.

Claire: No you don’t.

Nathan: I am not talking with you anymore.

Sylar: Hehe, the whole daddy thing kinda blew up in his face.

Nikki: I am hungry.

Sylar: Come here my sweets!

Nikki: No, really hungry for food.

Hiro: Me too.

JP: I was more asking along the lines of this game.

Sylar: You know, this game is all you are ever interested in. That bores me.

Claire: *giggles*

JP: Well Claire, how do you feel? I mean we watched the video of the challenge and it was very clear that your coconut knocked Mo out.

Claire: It is not my fault that he doesn’t know where to stand.

Hiro: You are both clumsy.

Nikki: Got that right.

Nathan: That is not something that runs in the family. Must have come from Meredith’s side.

Hiro: Who is Meredith?

Nathan: I’ll tell you later.

Mo: I think I need a bucket.

JP: Ewwwww!

Nathan: Do we get to vote anytime soon here, or will we do smores and sing a couple of songs?

Sylar: Yeah, get going already.

JP: Alright! It is time to vote. Nikki, you’re up!

*voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Sylar: Rules, rules, rules, rules.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote Claire.

JP: Second vote Mo.

JP: Third vote Claire. That’s two votes Claire, one vote Mo.

Sylar: There we go with the counting again.

JP: If you don’t stop with your pissy comments, I will kick you off this show.

JP: Fourth vote Mo. That’s two votes Claire and two votes Mo.

Sylar: *sings* ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z. Now I know my ABC’s, next time won’t you sing with me?

JP: You are really pushing your luck here.

Nathan* whispers*: Sy, give it a rest.

Sylar: Ok

JP:Fifth vote Mo.

JP*reads last vote*: Next person voted out of survivor Heroes is Mohinder.

JP: Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken. It is time for you to go.

Mo: Do you have headache medicine?

JP: Yeah we do.

JP: The rest of you, head on back to camp.

Voting slips for the Mo vote:

Nikki: (parchment says Mo) I have an agreement to keep here.

Hiro: (parchment says Claire) You get on my nerves.

Sylar: (parchment says Momo) Now you go swim with the fishies.

Mo: (parchment says Claire) You hit me with a coconut!

Nathan: (parchment says Mo) Man, I just think it is better for your overall health if you leave now.

Claire: (parchment says Mohander) You stopped being cute a while ago.

The next day at the challenge location
JP: Welcome to our next survivor challenge.

Tribes Pesored and Unopu: *walk in*

JP: Unopu, may I present the new tribe Pesored, Mo got voted off last night.

Peter: No surprise there.

Sylar: Watch out, you are the next in line of IQ points.

Peter: You know, for someone who sleeps with the enemy and considers that smart, you have a pretty big lip.

Nikki: Huh?

Noah: Hihi.

JP: Well, we have little surprise for you guys. Drop your buffs.

Elle: Oh, we are dropping our clothes?

JP: No, only your buffs.

Hiro: I brought a missing piece of the idol!

JP: Yeah, whatever.

Haitian: Now what?

JP: Now we will draw some colored rocks from this box and determine the new constellation of tribes. Pesored gets the yellow stones and Unopu gets the turqoise ones.

Noah: I never would have guessed the colors.

Claire: Hehe, dad sounds like Sylar.

Noah: Oh crap!

JP: Alright, Hiro, come get your stone. Keep it in your hand and only reveal when I tell you to.

Hiro: Box of rocks. That reminds me of something…

West: *giggles*

Nikki: You sound like a girl.

West: Am not!

Nikki: *hisses*

West: *yelps*

JP: Alright, get your stones, everyone.

Matt: I’d rather have balls.

Nathan: I don’t doubt that.

Matt: *raises eyebrow*

JP: Everyone, reveal!

JP: Alright, the new tribe Unopu are: Peter, Sylar, West, Haitian and Matt.
The new tribe Pesored are: Hiro, Noah, Elle, Claire, Nikki and Nathan.

JP: Hands out buffs accordingly

Claire: Many, many curse words.

Noah: Claire bear!

Claire: Great, two daddies, one crazy Asian dude and two bitches. And all the hot guys are on the other tribe.

Hiro: I would really appreciate you shutting up every once in a while.

West: I don’t feel safe.

Everyone: *laughing*

JP: We will have a challenge now with the new tribes.

JP: For our challenge, we will have the tribe members blindfolded, except one. The tribe members will be send into two identical mazes and the seeing tribe members will have to direct them to a set of 5 keys. The seeing tribe members also have to watch out that the other members of their tribe don’t run into each other.

JP:Once the tribes have retrieved all five keys, they can take off the blind folds and will come out of the maze and open a treasure chest with those keys. Inside that treasure chest is a map. On that map is a location indicated. The first tribe who gets all members on to that location, wins immunity.

Elle: Huh?

Nathan: You get to run around and look pretty.

Elle: Okay.

Claire: Now he is sucking up to her.

Nikki: Shut it!

Sylar (from the other mat): Catfight! Catfight!

JP: The seeing member for Unopu will be West. The seeing member for Pesored will be Claire. You two get on your lookout posts. The rest of the tribes, get your blindfolds on and get into your mazes.

Matt: Why do we have two mazes?

JP: We like it that way.

Matt: He really treats us like two year olds.

Peter: Yeah.

Haitian: Let’s get to work.

JP: Survivors ready! Go!!!

JP: And they are off! Tribe Unopu has a bit of trouble getting through the door at once. But they make it in. Pesored has Noah lining them all up. Impressive work there with a blindfold on. And they march in.

West: Sylar, go straight ahead, there is a key right in front of you! Yes!

Claire: Dad, dad, turn left!

Noah and Nathan: *Both turn left. Nathan bumps into Elle.*

Elle: Ouch!

Nathan: Sorry!

Elle: She did that on purpose!

Claire: Dad, straight ahead now, yeah, that’s it, there is a key!

West: Matt, go left! No my left! Farther, and now turn right! No my right! Peter, get out of the way!

Peter: Why did you not tell me where the key is?

West: What?

Sylar: *bumps into Peter.*

Sylar and Peter: Ouch!

Matt: I got it!

Sylar: No, that is my key!

Matt: West, could you talk to us????

West: Elle is so pretty.

Peter: WEST!!!!

West: Oh sorry, Matt grab in front of you and you got it!

Matt: *grabs the key.*

Claire: Nikki turn left and walk three steps.

Nikki: *Runs into wall.*

Claire: Girl steps!

Nikki: *Grabs key above her and spits on the ground.*

Claire: Hiro, turn around and grab in front of you!

Hiro: Yatta!!!

West: Haitian, go around the corner there. At the end is a key.

Haitian: I don’t trust you.

Peter: Just go get the key.

West: Peter, if you go back two steps, there is one to your left.

Peter: *turns around, goes two steps and puts arms out to both sides.*

Peter: Got it.

Matt: Are we done yet?

Claire: Nathan, skip forward a few times and grab to your right.

Nathan: What?

Claire: I just wanted to see you skip.

Hiro and Elle: *bump into each other.*

Hiro: Ewwww

Claire: Hiro, go to the left. Yes, there is another one!

Nikki: *hums* To the left, to the left, every thing I own is to the left…

Noah: Let’s keep moving people!

Claire: Dad, there is one behind you!

Noah: Could you be a bit more specific?

Claire: Huh?

West: Peter, go forward and reach low, there is one.

Peter: *does a crawl, gets the key.*

JP: Unopu has all five keys, they can leave the maze!

Noah: *Wildly grabs around for the key and gets it.*

JP:Pesored follows suit! Both tribes are now running to the treasure chests. And Unopu has the treasure chest open and gets the map out.

Haitian: No man, turn it around!

JP: Pesored has trouble getting the keys in, but now they got it! And they are also looking at the map.

JP: Unopu and Pesored are heading off, and it is a full run to the designated area. And with just a hair of a lead, Unopu wins the challenge!!!!!! Congratulations guys, well done!

Sylar: Yeah, guy power!!!

Nikki: I am gonna kill that bitch!!!

JP: Unopu, have great day, Pesored, see ya at tribal!

At the tribal council grounds
JP: Welcome tribe Pesored to yet another tribal council.

Tribe Pesored: *Walks in, does the torch thing, sits down.*

JP: So Noah, and Elle, how is it on your first day with this new tribe?

Elle: It sucks!

Noah: I am just happy to see my Claire bear.

Claire: Could you stop calling me that in public?

Noah: Oh, sorry Claire b… ahem, Claire.

JP: Nikki, why are you touseling Nathans hair?

Nikki: Because I think he needs some appreciation.

Hiro: And Sylar is on the other tribe now.

Nikki: What’s it to you?

Nathan: I like it. *Grins*

Noah: You are not setting a good example here.

Nathan: What?

Noah: I mean regarding flighty hook ups. We have teenagers here.

Nikki: Watch it, company man!

Nathan: *is laughing* Well, if you mean Claire, you are a little too late. She is beyond help.

Noah: What?

Claire: Let’s vote!!!

JP: Yes, let’s. Hiro, you’re up.

*voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Elle: He says that every time.

Nathan: I guess he has a reason for it.

Nicky: *giggles*

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Elle.

JP: Second vote: Claire

JP: Third vote Elle.

JP: Fourth vote Claire.

Hiro: He is not doing the adding up anymore?

Nathan: Do you miss it?

Hiro: No

JP: Fifth vote :Claire

JP: *reads vote* Next person voted out of survivor Heroes is Claire. Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken. It is time for you to go.

Noah: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Claire: *swears loudly*

JP: Go head on back to camp!

Voting slips for the Claire vote:

Hiro: (parchment says Claire) You really get on my nerves.

Noah: (parchment says Elle) Goodbye little miss one zap wonder.

Elle: (parchment says Claire) I hate you!

Claire: (parchment says Elle) I hate you!

Nikki: (parchment says Claire) Girl steps, baby.

Nathan: (parchment says Claire) No way will you be all over my brother!

The next day at camp Unopu:

Matt: Ah, isn’t it enjoyable around here?

Haitian: Yes, and so quiet. I love quiet.

Sylar: No kidding.

West: I miss Elle.

Matt: Little donut, we all enjoy the fact that she is gone and you miss her?

Sylar: Why are you calling West little donut?

Peter: Trust me, you don’t want to know.

Sylar: What?

Haitian: Donuts have holes.

Sylar: Ewwwww!

Matt: I thought you have tasted the rainbow?

Sylar: Shhhh!

Peter: What is it with all of you? First I have my niece hitting on me and then all the guys are in cahoots?

Matt: Make love, not war.

Peter: Hippie

Matt: Emo boy

Haitian: Could you stop your lovers quarrel?

West: I did not have much choice…

Peter: I did not consider you one of the guys.

Haitian: So, Sylar, anyone on your old tribe you really wanna take out?

Sylar: Wouldn’t you want to know that?

Peter: I could make you tell us.

Sylar: I could eat your brain.

Peter: pffft

West: I still don’t feel safe.

Matt: Come to papa, my little donut.

The next day at the challenge location

JP: Welcome back to our next challenge tribe Unopu.

Tribe Unopu:*walks in, stands on mat.*

JP: So how is it in the all boys club?

Sylar: Funny you would ask that.

West: It’s not my fault!

Peter: Sweetie, everything is your fault. It is one of the laws of the universe.

Sylar: Look who is talking.

Peter: *zaps Sylar a little*

Sylar: Dayum!

JP: Take a look at the new tribe Pesored. Claire got voted off last night.

Peter: THANK YOU!

Tribe Pesored: *walks in, stands on mat.*

Nikki:* blows kisses to Sylar.*

JP: I see you guys are in a good mood.

Elle: Oh yeah!

Noah: I am not.

Nathan: Who cares?

Noah: This is so gonna change everything!

Haitian: Every elimination does.

West: How did he mean that?

JP: Never you mind.

JP: As you all know, we are down to ten tribe members now.

Elle: We are? I thought we are nine now.

Matt: No, we are ten. It is Sylar, West, Haitian, Peter and me on tribe Unopu and Hiro, Noah, Nikki, Nathan and you on tribe Pesored.

Elle: What?

Matt: Ten, ten people!

Elle: What are you telling me for, how many people are on each tribe? I never said anything about any number!

Haitian: Don’t look at me, I did nothing to her.

JP: Anyway, we could merge now. But we have a nice little twist to this merging this season.

Peter: He is a twisty one.

JP: We will hold our first individual immunity challenge now. It is a race. All survivors will have to cross a series of balance beams, nets, high climb walls and ponds. The first eight survivors who cross the finish line will end on a platform that will mean they made it into the new, merged tribe. There will be a differently colored buff waiting for you there. The two last survivors awaits a different fate.

Noah: Instant elimination. I like it!

JP: For the first time, individual immunity up for grabs!

Matt: I am so done with jumping through all the hoops here.

Sylar: Wanna forfeit?

Matt: Not a chance. Have fun swimming Sybrows.

JP: Survivors ready? Go!!!!

JP: And they are off! Looks like Hiro, Matt and Nathan are the fastest on the first balance beams. Noah falls off and has to start again. Why is Peter doing a monkey tail? Ah, now he is also going. Nikki has no trouble either. Elle is concentrating hard. She is walking slowly. The Haitian, Sylar and West are passing her by.

The Petrellis and Sylar are now the first ones at the high climb wall. Easy going there for them. Matt has to heave a little more, but he makes it. Noah and the Haitian scale it, Nikki has no problem either. Elle and Hiro are struggling, but they put all their effort in. Yeah they got it. West is standing in front of it, looking forlorn.

Now they are in the rope nets. Everyone is pretty close together, except West, who is still a station back, kinda running into the high climb wall. Elle and Nikki are the fastest up and over. Followed by Nathan and Matt. Hiro and Haitian follow suit. Sylar and Peter are lower in the net and seem to be having an argument. What are they doing? This is not supposed to be a bondage session!!

West has finally made his way over the wall and looks exhausted. He gets into the net as Sylar and Peter finally untangle themselves and move out.

Matt, Nathan, Noah and Nikki are the first at the huge pond. They dive into it and swim across. Hiro, Elle, Haitian, and Peter follow. Sylar is wading into it. West is still somewhere in the rope net. Sylar is now looking anxious.

Nathan, Nikki and Noah are now on the second set of balance beams. What is that? Nikki turns around? Nikki goes back??? What the????

Now Nathan and Noah chase each other up the balance beams to the platforms. And Noah slips again. Nathan makes it onto his platform first. That means Nathan wins immunity!!!!!!!

Next to come up on his platform is Noah. Nikki is back at the pond, helping Sylar across. That will cost her a lot of time! Whatever made her do this?

Peter and Hiro are now safely on their platforms. Matt and the Haitian also make it.Now Elle also joins the new tribe. West is still in the ropes. Now both Nikki and Sylar are out of the pond and they race! Both are running up those balance beams! And Sylar makes it just before Nikki. And in a surprising twist, Nikki is the second person who does not make it onto the platforms! Amazing!

Nikki *pants*: I will never help you again, ever!!!

Sylar: I didn’t ask for your help.

JP: Nathan, here is your immunity idol.

Nathan *pants*: Thanks

JP: Now, we have two members who did not make it onto the platforms. Those are Nikki and West. One of them will be eliminated from the game immediately. The other one will be send to a secluded island for a day and will then join the tribe. On that island is another immunity idol safely hidden. So Nathan, who will go to the island? It is your choice!

Nathan: Oh man! Nikki goes to the island.

Nikki: Yay!!!! *kisses Nathan*

West: *cries*

JP: Goodbye West, the game ends here for you.

West: I hate you! I hate you all!

JP: Now you guys will head back to the former camp Unopu and come up with a new name. Please leave your old buffs on the platforms and put your new, blue ones on.

Matt: Dude, the merge.

JP: What about it?

Matt: You guys just kicked out my little donut.

JP: Your what?

Matt: You know what that means?

JP: No, I am utterly confused.

Matt: It means that I have to find me a new little donut! That is what that means!

Elle: *laughs*

JP: Please head back to camp now and don’t confuse me anymore.

Merged tribe: *Leaves*

Back at camp:

Peter: So, we need a new name.

Noah: The winners!!!

Sylar: The brain eaters!

Elle: Ewwww!

Haitian: It is tradition to combine the two former tribe names somehow.

Hiro: I don’t like either of those names.

Matt: *sits and squints at Nathan*

Nathan: Oh no you don’t!!!! *screams* Peter! Do something!

Peter: *Tk’s a palm tree branch at Matt.*

Matt: *loses his concentration.*

Sylar: How about the Hot Survivors Posse?

Peter: How about the Survivorholics?

Nathan: How about we come up with something and get this whole naming thing over with?

Hiro: Lets just be Unopusored

Everyone: *mumbles unenthusiastic agreement*

Noah: Okay, that is settled then.

Haitian: I will not paint that stupid flag.

Elle: Oh, I love colors! *paints lot’s of girlish stuff on the flag.*

Sylar: Move away from the flag, girl. We are not the Care Bears.

Haitian: And also not the Claire bears *chuckles*

Noah: Was that necessary?

Peter: Yes, very.

Matt: Maybe villains aren’t all that bad.

Haitian: Wow, that is desperate. Why don’t you go for Peter?

Matt: Too much feedback.

Peter: *grins*

Matt: *starts painting the flag and does a decent job with it.*

Noah: Where did you learn that? Art appreciation day?

Peter: No, Momo the ho…

Matt: Don’t you dare!!!

Peter:… taught him that.

Sylar: *has laughing fit*

Matt: How did you get by that?

Peter: It was right in front of your mind. It practically screamed at me.

Matt: *curses*

Noah: OK, enough of that. Lets get organized! We need a bigger hut! Get moving!

Nathan: Oh joy *rolls eyes*

Peter: Just for old times sake *squints at Noah*

Noah: *tapdances* STOP IT!!!!!!

Tribe Unopusored: *hysterical laughter*
Meanwhile on a desolate little island….

Nikki: Great job Jess! Excellent! You just got us almost kicked out of the game!!!!

Jessica: We got saved and have a chance of finding the hidden immunity idol.

Nikki: That was not your doing. That was Nathan!

Jessica: And I gave him reason for that the other night!

Nikki: You! If I could kick your ass, I would!!!!

Jessica: Why don’t you try!

WT A man in his thirties comes out from behind a boulder. Twice: I’d like to see that!

Nikki: What the heck? No I won’t!

WT Twice: You are the woman of my dreams!

Jesica: I am bored already.

WT Twice: Actually, you are really the woman of my dreams.

Nicky: Now that we cleared that up, we might better get a fire going.

Jessica: Always the practical one…

WT Twice* hands Jessica a flint* Here you go my tigress!

Nikki: It’s going to be cold soon.

Jessica: Not likely. *makes fire*

WT Twice: I could also keep you warm at night.*grins*

Nikki: Nice fire.

Jessica: I like it warm. *Winks*

Nikki: By the rate you are going, we should probably get tested for STDs pretty soon.

WT Twice: Ouch!

Jessica: No worries, I am extremely careful.

WT Twice: I want to believe, I want to believe!!!!

Nikki: Well, now that we have fire, we should start looking for that idol.

Jessica: I wonder if there are any clues for it here.

WT Twice: I wonder what you would do for those clues.

Nikki: Lets get to the bottom of this.

WT Twice: Don’t hurt me!

Jessica: *sings* you taste like honey, honey, can I be your honey bee?

Wt Twice: *shudders with anticipation*

Nikki: Nice song

Jessica: Yeah, nice potential too.

Nikki: Why didn’t you sing at karaoke night? I hated that.

WT Twice: I loved that!

Jessica: I was too busy making out with Sylar.

Nikki: Don’t remind me. Why on earth did you make me help him back there???

WT: Twice: Yeah that was not very smart.

Jessica: How the hell are you judging my decisions? Sylar promised me a spot on the final four.

WT Twice: Weren’t we just going in a completely different direction. *tries to kiss Jess*

Nikki: Like that is gonna happen.

Jessica: You have a point.

WT: Twice: But, but…

Nikki: My head hurts

Jessica: Let me massage you a bit.

WT Twice: Who? Me or her, I mean you?

Nikki: This is all getting very confusing. I think I will look for that idol later.

Jessica: I can multitask.

Nikki: If you say so.

WT Smms: Hey Twice! What are you doing there? You are not supposed to talk with the contestants? Get back here!  Twice: Dayum! *runs back*

Jessica: Yeah, but you know what? This is a really strange place.

Next day at tribe Unopusored:

Nathan: *Stretches and squints at the rising sun* Peter? Wanna go for a jog?

Peter: I’m still sleepy. Ask me again later.

Hiro: I will run with you.

Nathan: Ok, little guy, lets go.

Hiro: Was a joke. Hihi.

Peter: *Gets up, stretches, grins* Ok big bro, I am up now. *Runs*

Nathan: *Runs too*

Noah: Petrelli bro love. Yuck!

Sylar: We can stop that.

Haitian: Anyone want coffee?

Elle: How did you get that? *slurps greedy*

Haitian: Either you drink it, or you get an answer. You decide.

Noah: Nevermind her. *Drinks*

Matt: All I need now is a donut…. I mean, a real one.

Haitian: Look, there is Nikki coming back.

Nikki: *arrives.* Hi guys!

Noah: You are in a good mood. Did you find the idol?

Nikki: Maybe.

Noah: *grunts*

Nikki: It is a really interesting place, I tell you that much.

Sylar: See? Everything turned out for the better.

Nikki: *decks Sylar*

Elle: Holy shit!

Nikki: He had it coming.

Sylar: *rubs his cheek* You are so two-faced.

Noah: *has laughing fit*

Elle: Can you teach me that move Nikki?

Nikki: Sure. Might come in handy someday when you run out of sparks.

Elle: Not likely.

Noah: Or someone gets you in the shower.

Hiro: She would probably enjoy that.

Elle: What is it with you? Don’t you like girls?

Hiro: I like smart and pretty girls. You are neither.

Sylar: Burn!

Elle: *zaps Hiro* No, that is a burn.

Hiro: Ouch!

Nathan and Peter: *come back.*

Nathan: Oh hi Nikki! How was your stay on that island?

Nikki: Very interesting.

Noah: Why does Nathan always freaking decide who is safe from the votes? First he picks Peter then he picks Nikki.

Nathan: See this cool necklace man? That is an immunity idol. That’s why.

Hiro: *hums Bohemian Rhapsody* He made good decision bringing Peter.

Peter: Thanks.

Noah: I will go get some firewood.

Peter: I will help you.

Everyone: *Raises eye- and Sybrows*

In the woods:

Peter: *is hauling a lot of wood and bundling it up.*

Noah: Well, I guess I don’t need to do anything then…

Peter: I think you need to overthink who your friends are.

Noah: Whoah, you of all people want to strategize?

Peter: I am not as dumb as you think I am.

Noah: Not?

Peter: Shut it, or you will tapdance in two seconds.

Noah: Alright! I am listening.

Peter: You wanted to get rid of Matt the other day.

Noah: That thought may have crossed my mind…

Peter: But when it was time to vote, it wasn’t.

Noah: Yeah….

Peter: How do you think that happened?

Noah: I don’t know.

Peter: Now who is stupid here? Think!

Noah: You did NOT just say that to me.

Peter: *grins* Yes I did. Come on man, let me show you.

Peter:*squints and stares at Noah*

Noah: No way!!!

Peter: Way.

Noah: That really, man, that, wow, I am speechless.

Peter: Let’s head back. *heaves up the big bundle of firewood and walks off*

Noah: *stumbles behind*

At the challenge place
JP: Welcome tribe …what is your name now?

Hiro: Unopusored

JP: Hehe, I certainly hope not. Ahem, welcome back to your second individual immunity challenge.

Sylar: What does he mean, I certainly hope not?

Nikki:*shrugs* Probably an inside joke.

JP: First things first, Nathan please hand me back the immunity idol.

Nathan: *hands it back*

JP: Individual immunity, back up for grabs!

Sylar: Always with the stupid phrases…

Elle: *Eyes Nathan and Peter* I would like to grab something else.

Matt: Me too.

JP: Stop it!

Sylar: *giggles*

JP: Alright, for todays immunity challenge, you will have to use your brains and your brawns. And Nikki and Peter, you will be closely monitored to make sure that you will not engage your super strength.

Peter: He is always picking on me.

Noah: Gee, I wonder why.

Peter: But you agree, he IS picking on me.

JP: What you have to do is use these ready cut boulders to build a pyramid. There is only one way this pyramid will hold. First survivor who builds that pyramid, wins immunity.

Elle: What is a pyramid?

Haitian: *has a laughing fit*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And the survivors are at it! Hiro is circling the boulders and thinking. Noah is heaving one on top of the other. Peter is standing on one. How that should help is beyond me.

Elle is looking at what everybody else is doing. Matt apparently decided that this challenge is not for him and sits on the ground, whistleling. Nathan and Sylar are building and what they have so far is looking good.

Nikki is also getting started. Now Peter springs into action. Hiro is heaving now and straining. The Haitian is also putting some effort in. Sylar and Nathan are doing a great job.

Hiro: Stop that challenge! He cheats! He cheats!

JP: What? Who?

Hiro: Sylar, he cheats!

JP: Consider this challenge stopped! I want an explanation.

Sylar: Crap!

JP: Hiro, that is a serious accusation. Why do you say that?

Hiro: He uses just a little bit of TK. He has done before.

Peter: What the hell??? And I am being watched all the time!!!

JK: Sylar, is that true?

Sylar: Nope.

Hiro: He lies!

Sylar: You are so done, little man.

Hiro: I don’t care. You cheat!

Noah: I am not surprised. Well I am a bit that he got away with it.

JP: When did he cheat before?

Matt: Yeah, tell us.

Nathan: I guess we have to.

Sylar: It was almost nothing.

JP: What was?

Nathan: At the challenge when we had to move the float, Sy levitated it a bit.

Former Unopu members: *Unfair, cheaters, man, can that be true? Recount!

JP: I’ll be! That means we have to go back and remove every gain you got from it.

Nathan: We didn’t get any gain out of it. Mohinder made damn well sure that we didn’t.

JP: Huh?

Nathan: What do you think the whole dunkin’ Sy session was about?

Matt: Awwww, my little dunkin’ donut!

Peter: Matt!!!!

Matt: Sorry!

JP: I think I underestimated Momo.

Noah: Happens to the best.

JP: Noble guy. Anyway, that kinda changes things.

Nathan: No it shouldn’t.

JP: Why?

Nathan: Well, look at it this way. We all have our talents and abilities. You do too. You might be the one who can read the teleprompter the best, or who can add up 37 and 14 the fastest. But you also use your abilities to your best advantage. So do we. They are part of us. They are what makes us the way we are. I can’t change my ability just as I can’t change the color of my eyes. I have restrained myself to use it, but this what it is, a restraint.

JP: Yeah, but that would make it unfair.

Nathan: Life is unfair. And we have been playing by your rules almost to a fault. Peter could have won every challenge in the blink of an eye, so could have Hiro.

Peter: Damn straight, I could have! You really think so Nate?

Nathan: Yes I do, but please don’t interrupt me now.

Peter: Oh, ok.

Nathan: We are what we are and Sy here knows how to use his powers intuitively to his best advantage. That is how he is.

Hiro: Then why don’t I just go and stop time, finish mine and then win?

Matt: Because it would be pretty obvious if ladidah you stood in front of a finished piece.

Hiro: Hm, you got a point.

Nathan: Why don’t we all get back to the challenge and Sy has to start over from scratch. Would that be fairer?

JP: Lemme think about that one.

Sy: Thanks Nate.

Peter: 51!

Everyone: Huh?

Peter: I’m just saying…

JP: Ok, we thought about it. And actually Nathan’s suggestion is a good one. So we will dismantle Sylar’s pyramid and all you others can keep going from where they were. We will also watch Sylar very much so that won’t use TK. As for you all using your powers, we will have to come to a conclusion on that still.

Sylar: And what if I don’t want to start over?

JP: You will go home right now.

Sylar: I guess I will start over.

Nathan: Problem solved.

Elle: Can anyone please, please tell me what a pyramid is?

Hiro: It’s a three dimensional triangle.

Elle: Yeah, like that would help.

JP: OK, we are ready to restart this challenge. Survivors ready? Go!

JP: Nathan, Peter and Nikki are going smoothly with their building. Hiro seems to know how to do it, but the physical part is killing him. Matt and Elle are watching. The Haitian and Noah are also working, but slowly.

JP: And Sylar, wow, he has been going amazingly fast and he is really putting all his effort in. No TK and still he is gaining rapidly. As a matter of fact, Sylar has finished his pyramid! I can’t believe it. Immunity goes to Sylar!

Sylar: *pants* I knew I could do it.

Elle: Oh it looks like a cone, only not round.

Peter: You think?

Elle: Yeah, like that huge Madonna bra thing.

Peter: That was an image I really did not need.

Hiro: My back hurts.

JP: Sylar, get over here, get your necklace.

Noah: So what now? We let him have it?

Haitian: He won it fair and square.

Noah: Could you stop stabbing me in the back for once?

Matt: Oh, trouble in paradise?

Haitian and Noah: Shut up!

JP: Could I get a word in here? I still have something to say!

Nathan: Like what?

JP: Well we still have this cool island with the hidden immunity idol. And Sylar now can decide who will go there for a night and be safe from tribal council.

Peter: Ok, that really was something useful.

JP: Thanks. Wait…nevermind.

Sylar: I pick Nate.

Nikki: Nate, you will enjoy it. I am sure.

Matt: What is it with this island?

Nikki: *hums* You taste like honey…

On the hidden island

Nathan: *Steps on the island* This is a really crappy place. Why the hell was Nikki so happy?

Three girls come out from behind a boulder, looking lovely.

Nathan: OK, that looks more promising.

Jenna: Hi, I’m Jenna. These are Cato and Smms. We are NateTiggers.

Nathan: Hi Jenna. Hi, what were your names again?

Cato: You can call me cat!

Nathan: Cat, that is easy.

Smms: I’m Smms.

Nathan: Oh, I remember you! You are no vowel girl!

Smms: Yep, that’s me. *Grins*

Nathan: And what did you call yourselves:

NateTiggers: We are the NateTiggers!

Jenna: It means we are your biggest fans and…

Cato: …we bounce around a lot and…

Smms: …would love it if you could spend the evening with us!

Nathan: *Grins* Well, there is not much else to do is there?

Distant voice: Hmmmm!Grrrsmplmmmmmm!!!!

Nathan: What was that?

Jenna: Oh, nothing, just the wind….

Nathan: Okay….

Cato: Let’s show you our cool place!

Nathan: Do you have food?

Smms: Believe me, we have everything!

Nathan: Like what?

Jenna: Oh, we have food, wine, a shower, a hot tub, a massage place, you name it.

Nathan: *gets very excited*

Cato: It is this way…

Nathan: Yeah, just point me in the right direction.

Jenna: You are pretty good at pointing yourself.

Nathan: I can’t help it. You girls are just too enticing.

Jenna, Cato, Smms: *Grin*

Jenna: So what do you want to do first? Getting really dirty, or clean up?

Nathan: I think I will go for the shower and the hot tub first.

NateTiggers: We like that!

Nathan: I am sure I will be bouncing around a lot tonight!

The NateTiggers leave with Nate.

About 20 minutes later….

CMN: No fair! How dare they tie me up and gag me!!! I love Nathan!

Nathan!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council. You know how it goes.

Tribe Unopusored: *comes in, does the torch thing*

JP: Well, we have decided that we will not have blatant over use of powers, but we will forgive using them a little here and there. Is that ok?

Noah: Hm, can I have my gun then? It is part of what makes me, me.

JP: Nice try, but no.

Noah: *grumbles*

JP: Ok, Sylar, you have individual immunity. Wanna keep it or wanna give it to someone else?

Sylar: Are you bonkers?

JP: I take it you keep it then.

Sylar: Got that right.

JP: Nikki, if you should have the hidden immunity idol, you can use it after the vote.

Nikki: Okay.

Matt: *squints at Nikki*

Haitian: No my friend,*raises hand at Matt*

Matt: Ooops

JP: Matt, I am sure that was not proper.

Peter: Proper, what a positively prehistoric adjective. *says ‘proper’ a few times*

JP: Peter, did you get into the wine?

Peter: There is more wine?

JP: No…Stop confusing me.

Matt: He confused you?

JP: I was about to ask something. Where did it go?

Noah: I know that feeling

JP: Elle, how do you feel?

Elle: Huh?

Hiro: She is mathematically challenged.

Elle: I feel fine. And that was no math.

Noah: Geometry is a field of math.

Elle: Who needs it anyway?

Hiro: Architects, Engineers, Scientists in general, Landscapers, Dancers…

JP: I am sorry I asked. Moving on. Sylar, why did you give Nathan a free pass tonight?

Sylar: Because he saved my sweet behind.

JP: No ulterior motives?

Sylar: *raises Sybrows* No.

JP: Ok, let’s get ready to vote now. Matt, you are up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

JP: What, no stupid comment?

JP: Okay then. I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Haitian.

Second vote: Peter

That is one vote Haitian, one vote Peter.

Third vote: Haitian.

Fourth vote: Peter

That is two votes each.

Fifths vote: Haitian

Sixth vote: Peter

Seventh vote: Haitian

*Reads eighth vote*: The next person voted out of Survivor Heroes is the Haitian.
Haitian, bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Haitian: Well, that was unexpected.

JP: Okay, the rest of you can head on back to camp now.

Peter and Sylar: *TK the torches around.*

JP: What the hell???

Peter: You said we could play with our powers a bit.

Hiro: *teleports to camp*

JP: I think we need to work on the definition of ‘a bit’.

Voting slips for the Haitian vote:

Matt: (Parchment says Haitian) Yeah, sorry dude.

Hiro: (Parchment says Peter) You really are too strong.

Haitian: (Parchment says Peter) I don’t like Petrellicest.

Elle: (Parchment says Haitian) I hate you too!

Sylar: (Parchment says Peter) Time to break up the Bro love.

Nikki: (Parchment says Haitian) You creep me out.

Noah: (Parchment says Haitian) You used your freaking power on me!!!!!!

Peter: (Parchment says Haitian) *smiles, winks, puts finger on lips* Shhhh

Back at camp the next day

Noah: This is a nice group of people. Right size for a party.

Elle: Yeah, party!

Sylar: I could make frozen Martinis.

Matt: Why would anyone want their Martini frozen?

Sylar: I just want to play with my cool freezing ability.

Matt: Oh, I think making ice cubes would do just as well.

Nikki: Ice cubes, that gives me an idea.

Sylar: Me too. *Grins*

Peter: *Shakes head* Porny people.

Hiro: More P’s!

Elle: I don’t get it.

Hiro: *Giggles*

Matt: Ah, Nathan’s back!

Nathan: Hellloo countrymen!

Sylar: Now he is pulling a Cesar on us.

Peter: Wow, you look happy.

Nathan: *Grins*

Nikki: *Grins too*

Hiro: The way they look almost makes you want to lose.

Sylar: Almost…

Matt: *Squints at Nathan* Winnie the Pooh????

Nathan: Stay out of my head!

Matt: Is that all your family ever says to me?

Hiro: Nathan, tell me, what is this island all about?

Nathan: I guess it is different things to different people. It will always mean something connected with Winnie the Pooh to me.

Sylar: Weren’t we just about to organize a party?

Elle: Yes we were.

Nathan: You guys do that. I really need to catch up on my sleep.

Hiro: Ok, I will get karaoke machine!

Noah: Yeah, where is that thing? Haven’t seen it.

Hiro: I guess it still is at Pesored camp. *Teleports*

Peter: I guess I better help him carry it. *Teleports too*

Sylar: Do we really need the….

Hiro and Peter: *Teleport back*

Sylar: ….karaoke machine. Man, that was fast!

Hiro: We got it!

Nikki: We can see that.

Matt: Let him be happy.

Hiro: When do we start? When do we start?

Peter: We do it tonight. We still have to get food and supplies and such.

Noah: And a little thing called electricity for that machine….

Peter: Ooops, forgot the generator! *Teleports again.*

Later that day at camp

Nathan: Sy, could you get that tree trunk a little more over here? Yeah, that works.

Matt: I think I have enough pineapple cups for everyone.

Nikki: I have no idea what I should be wearing.

Sylar: Nothing would work.

Hiro: Generator is doing fine now.

Peter: I think I collected every fruit and root that is on this island.

Elle: Look, it’s JP! What is he doing here?

JP: That is what I was about to ask you guys.

Elle: What? Are you lost?

JP: No, I am not lost, I…. Forget it. What are you guys doing?

Nathan: Getting ready for a party.

Peter: A kickass party!

JP: But we did not tell you to have a party.

Sylar: So what?

JP: You can’t just go ahead and be happy! We did not schedule a party at this point.

Hiro: We are not in the mood to be miserable. You are the only one.

JP: How the hell did the karaoke machine get here? And the generator???

Nathan: Why don’t you watch the tape?

Noah: *Arrives from the bushes, dragging a net with numerous coconuts behind him*

Noah: What is pasty guy doing here?

Peter: Raining on our parade.

Noah: F you!!!

JP: Say that one more time and you get disqualified!

Nikki: Now he is po’d.

JP: Fact is, that you can’t have a party until I tell you so.

Matt: Then why don’t you tell us?

JP:……..I think you guys should have a party. ….Yeah, that would be good….Let me get some food and some wine for you….Yeah, I will do that.

Nathan: Thank you very much.

JP: *Leaves*

Matt: You’re welcome. *Grins*

Much, much later that evening…

Hiro: We had food, we had wine, now is singing time!!!

Peter: That was good wine. *Pours himself another cup*

Matt: Yeah I know, he went all out on us, didn’t he?

Hiro: *Gets the karaoke machine going*

Noah: Step away from the karaoke machine, I have waited for ages to get to it!

Hiro: Alright, you go first then!

Nikki: I wonder what he comes up with.

Nathan: I have a hunch…

Noah* gets started*:

I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

I’m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I’m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan

Nathan: Yep, just as I feared…

Noah: And I’m too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I’m disco dancing

Peter: And yet he is doing just that.

Noah: I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

Everyone: *hysterical laughter*

Noah: *keeps going and is taking his shirt of*

I’m too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I’m too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

‘Cos I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

And I’m too sexy for this song

Peter: Being embarrassing must be a Bennet trait.

Nathan: Yeah, he and Claire make a point for nurture in the ‘Nature versus Nurture’ debate.

Elle: Debate? I thought we were singing?

Noah: My next song will be Sexyback!

Peter: You will wait your turn. Next up is Hiro.

Hiro: Yatta!!!

Sylar: There is that Y-word again.

Nikki: So what will it be for you?

Hiro: My song is dedicated to you. And my song will prove I am better than you think I am!

Nikki: Oh no!

Peter: *Giggles*

Matt: I don’t get it.

Peter: You were not there the other night…

Hiro*sings*:

Talk to me
Tell me your name
You blow me off like it’s all the same
You lit a fuse and now I’m ticking away
Like a bomb
Yeah, Baby

Talk to me
Tell me your sign
You’re switching sides like a Gemini
You’re playing games and now you’re hittin’ my
heart
Like a drum
Yeah, Baby

Well if Lady Luck gets on my side
We’re gonna rock this town alive
I’ll let her rough me up
Till she knocks me out
She walks like she talks,
And she talks like she walks

And she bangs, she bangs
Oh baby
When she moves, she moves
I go crazy
‘Cause she looks like a flower but she stings
like a bee
Like every girl in history
She bangs, she bangs

I’m wasted by the way she moves
No one ever looked so fine
She reminds me that a woman only got one thing on her mind

Sylar: Is he hitting on my girl?

Peter: You got that really fast!

Sylar: *slap*

Peter: Ouch!

Nikki: *laughs herself silly*

Hiro:
Talk to me
Tell me your name

Noah: Yeah, which name is it tonight, girl?

Hiro:
I’m just a link in your daisy chain
Your rap sounds like a diamond
Map to the stars
Yeah, Baby

Talk to me
Tell me the news
You wear me out like a pair of shoes
We’ll dance until the band goes home
Then you’re gone
Yeah, Baby

Well if it looks like love should be a crime
You’d better lock me up for life

Matt: I’ll get back to you on that one *Grins*

Hiro:
I’ll do the time with a smile on my face
Thinking of her in her leather and lace

Well if Lady Luck gets on my side
We’re gonna rock this town alive
I’ll let her rough me up
Till she knocks me out
She walks like she talks,
And she talks like she walks

Elle: Is he done yet?

Peter: That was mean.

Elle: I am better than him.

Nathan: What is it with you kids? It’s all about Me,me, me!!! Never taking a single moment to sympathize with other people! *Grumbles*

Sylar: I think he is having a senior moment.

Peter: *Zaps Sylar*

Sylar: Ouch!

Noah: The rate you two are going, we will have a smackdown by song four.

Peter: Maybe, but I will survive! *Chuckles*

Noah, Nathan and Matt: *Have laughing fit*

Elle: So, is it my turn now?

Matt: Yes it is. Give us your best.

Elle *sings*: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won’t have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that’s the easy thing to do
I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too
Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian
There’s lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I’d feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Sylar: What the hell was that?

Peter: I am impressed! I didn’t know you knew how to say hippopotamus.

Elle: I….don’t.

Nathan: *has laughter tears in his eyes* Matt, stop!! I can’t take much more!

Matt: What?

Elle: You donut bumping meany, you!

Nikki: Elle, do you really think it is wise to challenge him more?

Peter: I think it is my turn now.

Sylar: What? You want to sing?? Last time we had Nate here practically begging on the floor before you got going.

Peter: Yeah well, things change. And besides, I need to get something out of my system.

Nikki: Now that sounds interesting…

Nathan: Woohoo Peter!!!!

Peter *sings*:

Loving you

Isn’t the right thing to do

How can I ever change things

That I feel

If I could

Maybe I’d give you my world

How can I

When you won’t take it from me

Elle: That sounds old.

Matt: Do you want another animal song or will you shut up now?

Elle: Okay, okay!

Peter*lets it all out*:

You can go your own way

Go your own way

You an call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

Go your own way

Sylar: What a welcoming song.

Peter:
Tell me why

Everything turned around

Packing up

Shacking up is all you wanna do

If I could

Baby I’d give you my world

Open up

Everything’s waiting for you

Hiro: These lyrics are confusing. Does he want her or not?

Nathan: He doesn’t!!!!!!!!!!

Peter:
You can go your own way

Go your own way

You an call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

go your own way

Nikki: mmmmmm Fleetwood Mac!

Matt: And a nice rendition too.

Noah: Yeah, but who was that about?

Nathan: Funny, you should be the one to ask that question.

Peter: I am good now.

Hiro: Can you teach me that song Peter? It makes good impression with the ladies.

Nathan: Why are you talking plural?

Nikki: I think we need a little more Fleetwood Mac. *gets up*

Sylar: oooooooo I like it!

Noah: Let’s have another round of wine first.

Peter: Her singing is really not that bad.

Noah: Yeah, but that wine is too good not to be drunk.

Peter: And that is what you are, drunk.

Sylar: How come, you are not drunk?

Peter: I am a little tipsy.

Matt: Tipsy, great word. Fits you to a T. TTTTT..tipsy.

Nathan: Matt is beyond tipsy.

Matt: Shhhhh

Sylar: Yeah, we all are. Besides Peter.

Peter: Yeah well, being instantly self healing has its perks.

Sylar: Speaking of perks, Nikki? What about your song?

Nikki: Sweetums, this one is especially for you.

Nikki *sings*:

If I could turn the page

In time then I’d rearrange just a day or two

Close my, close my, close my eyes

Hiro: Hehe, I can do that.

Nathan: Shhh, we know.

Nikki:
But I couldn’t find a way

So I’ll settle for one day to believe in you

Tell me, tell me, tell me lies

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)

Oh, no, no you can’t disguise

(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)

Sylar: *Raises sybrow*

Nikki:
Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

Although I’m not making plans

I hope that you understand there’s a reason why

Close your, close your, close your eyes

No more broken hearts

We’re better off apart let’s give it a try

Tell me, tell me, tell me lies

Peter: Dude, she is giving him the boot!

Noah: I don’t think so.

Matt: Why?

Noah: She is such a tease.

Nathan: You seem to know her pretty well then.

Noah: Not like you do. *Grins* But I know her file.

Nikki:
Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)

Oh, no, no you can’t disguise

(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

Sylar: Who cares about the lyrics, she’s sexy!

Hiro: Agreed!

Elle: I need more wine.

Nikki:
Oh, no, no you can’t disguise

(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

(Tell me, tell me lies)

Peter: That was nice!

Nathan: You brought back great memories!

Matt: Why do you Petrellis get all the girls all the time? And I am stuck with stupid Janice.
Peter: Nathan, what about you? You have not made one lurch for the mic yet.

Nathan: I am in a contemplative mood tonight. Besides, we did our crown jewel already.

Peter: Awww, man I know you have it in you.

Nathan: Let’s get Matt on first, before he passes out like a dog.

Noah: Yes! Mindbender, show us what you’ve got!

Matt: Hehe, I got a lot! *lifts up his shirt*

Elle: Was that really necessary?

Nikki: What do you know about attractive men. *blows kiss to Matt*

Matt: Now that is what I like to see!

Sylar: I though he wasn’t into that kinda thing anymore?

Peter: Apparently he is.

Matt *sings*:

Give ’em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle ’em
Give ’em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give ’em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather ’em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting?

Razzle dazzle ’em
And they;ll never catch wise!

Give ’em the old Razzle Dazzle

Noah: Truer words were never spoken!

Matt:
Razzle dazzle ’em
Give ’em a show that’s so splendiferous
Row after row will crow vociferous

Elle: That is at least three words that I don’t understand…

Matt:
Give ’em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture ’em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

Throw ’em a fake and a finagle
They’ll never know you’re just a bagel,

Sylar: Or a donut…

Matt:
Razzle dazzle ’em
And they’ll beg you for more!

Nathan: Aren’t you supposed to hold up the legal system? I mean being an officer of the law and all?

Matt:
Give ’em the old double whammy
Daze and dizzy ’em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler

Give ’em the old three ring circus
Stun and stagger ’em
When you’re in trouble, go into your dance

Though you are stiffer than a girder

Peter: You are what?

Matt:
They’ll let you get away with murder
Razzle dazzle ’em
And you’ve got a romance

Give ’em the old
Razzle Dazzle

Give ’em the old Razzle Dazzle
Razzle dazzle ’em
Show ’em the first rate sorcerer you are
Long as you keep ’em way off balance
How can they spot you’ve got no talent
Razzle Dazzle ’em

Razzle Dazzle ’em
Razzle Dazzle ’em

And they’ll make you a star!!!

Nikki: Wow, Matt got the moves!

Matt: Yeah, but my back is killing me now! *Groans*

Nathan: Alright, my turn!

Nikki: Come on Natey, make me swoon!

Nathan: *Grins*

Peter: Look at him going all hunk on her!

Sylar: If he keeps that up, he will end his life as a hobo.

Matt: Don’t be a twerp, let the man sing.

Sylar: Ok, ok!

Nathan *sings*:

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

Elle: What kind of a song is this?

Sylar: A hippie song. Pretty soon he will grow a Pasbeard.

Elle: What’s a Pasbeard?

Sylar: Something only Nate here can grow.

Nathan:
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
in these small hours,
these small hours still remain

Peter: I love this song!

Noah: He is really a light of peace, isn’t he?

Peter: So what is wrong with that? You are such a schmuck!

Matt: Yeah! Love and peace is really not appreciated here!

Noah: Matt, why don’t you fondle your moobs and leave me alone?

Matt: That was so not called for!

Nathan *loudly*:

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

Nikki: Awwwwww

Nathan and Peter *sing*:
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
in these small hours,
these small hours still remain

Sylar: Here we go again with the Petrellicest…

Hiro: What happened?

Peter: What do you mean, what happened?

Hiro: I think I fell asleep.

Sylar: No more wine for the dwarf.

Hiro: That was bad, even for you!

Nikki: Yeah, leave Hiro alone! He is a great guy!

Hiro: *Grins*

Noah: Hey Sylar, instead of abusing other cultures, how about you just sing.

Matt: I am sure he doesn’t even know a song.

Sylar: Just wait a sec. *Grabs a tree trunk and pulls it up, sits down with one knee up, puts out his arm and snips once*

Elle: What is this supposed to mean?

Sylar: I am positioning myself for my song.

Peter: I thought he was propping himself up because he is too drunk to stand.

Elle: Hihi.

Sylar *sings*:

Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that’s so hard to bear

You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night.

Nikki: *Snips fingers along.* Man, that is hot!

Sylar:
Sun lights up the daytime
Moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name
And you know I’m gonna treat you right

You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night

Ev’rybody’s got the fever
that is something you all know
Fever isn’t such a new thing
Fever started long ago

Noah: That reminds me of a night in Soho a long time ago, when…

Matt: Shhhhh!

Sylar:
Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her
He said ‘Julie, baby, you’re my flame
Thou giv-est fever when we kisseth
Fever with thy flaming youth

Elle: Kisseth????

Nathan: Let me guess, you never even heard of Shakespeare.

Elle: Shake beer????

Nathan: Forget it.

Sylar:
Fever I’m afire
Fever yea I burn for sooth’

Captain Smith and Pocahontas
Had a very mad affair
When her daddy tried to kill him
She said ‘Daddy, o, don’t you dare

Peter: Sounds like something our Noah bear here would do…

Noah: Hehe. Wait? Bear?

Peter: Yeah, you little badass wubby you!

Noah: Are you sure you can’t get drunk?

Sylar:
He gives me fever with his kisses
Fever when he holds me tight
Fever, I’m his misses,
Oh daddy, won’t you treat him right’

Elle: He is the misses??

Peter: No, Pocahontas is.

Nathan: Don’t even try…

Elle: Who is Pocahontas?

Nathan: See?

Peter: Got ya bro.

Sylar:
Now you’ve listened to my story
Here’s the point that I have made
Cats were born to give chicks fever
Be it Fahrenheit or centigrade

Nikki: Damn straight!

Sylar:
They give you fever when you kiss them
Fever if you live and learn
Fever till you sizzle

Matt: I love things that sizzle…

Sylar:
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn

Nikki: Come here you! That was smoking!

Hiro: Ok, who is next?

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Peter: I think we all did one song.

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Nikki: And you guys did an awesome job.

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Noah: Good god girl, you sound like a broken record!

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Nathan: Better let her, or she’ll never shuts up.

Sylar: She’ll suck anyways.

Matt: Nah, she wants to suck, but she can’t. *Grins*

Elle: *Grabs the mic*

Noah: I’ll get me some more wine…

Nathan: Make it a round.

Elle sings:

Fame!
I’m gonna live for ever
I’m gonna learn how to fly
I’m gonna make it to heaven
Baby remember my name!

Peter: Live forever? Check. Fly? Check. Hehe, girl I have what you want.

Elle:
Baby look at me and tell me what you see
You ain’t seen the best of me yet

Nathan: I don’t wanna see no more…

Elle:
Give me time, I’ll make you forget the rest
I got more in me, and you can set it free
I can catch the moon in my hand
Don’t you know who I am?

Remember my name, Fame!
I’m gonna live forever
I’m gonna learn how to fly – high!
I feel it comin’ together .
People will see me and cry. Fame!

Sylar: They already do.

Elle:
I’m gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame. Fame!

Peter: Been there, done that.

Elle:
I’m gonna live forever
Baby remember my name
Remember, remember, remember, remember, remember,
remember, remember, remember

Matt: Hehe, if West was still here he would be going: Elle, Elle, Elle, her name is Elle.

Everyone: *Has laughing fit.*

Peter: I thought you liked your little donut?

Matt: I love him to pieces, shortcomings and all.

Elle:
Baby hold me tight, ’cause you can make it right.
You can shoot me straight to the top.
give me love and take all I got to give
Baby, I’ll be tough. Too much is not enough, no
I can ride your heart ’till it breaks,
Ooh, I got what it takes

Fame!

Hiro: You wish.

Nikki:*high fives Hiro*

Noah: I think, yeah, I think I will sing one more…

Nathan: Woah, big guy, don’t fall!

Noah: I, I am not afalling. *Thunk*

Sylar: No you’re already down.

Hiro: Good that I moved away in time. Phew!

Noah:*Crawls to the mic and sits down*

Nikki: Maybe we should put a stop to this.

Elle: No, this is funny!

Sylar: Yeah, it is.

Peter: If the man wants to sing, let the man sing.

Noah*sings*:

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go, ’cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Peter: And they say I’m emo….

Noah:
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)

Nathan and Matt: *Take small branches, light them in the campfire and wave them around*

Noah:
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

Elle: Why are there only sappy old men here?

Sylar: I am neither.

Elle: Yeah, but you are just mean and hairy.

Sylar: Women love my Sybrows!

Hiro: Ahhh, watch where you swing that thing!

Noah:
‘Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

Peter: Unless you are a badass like the man himself.

Nathan: The soul of a hitman is a dark, dark place.

Matt: Or so it seems.

Noah:
If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

Nikki: Is he crying?

Peter: Nah, that’s just wine. He was not so focused on his mouth anymore.

Nikki: Oh, ok.

Noah *is positively wailing now*:
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

Hiro: If he keeps going, he will break machine.

Nathan: I think he is done now.

Noah: *conks over, snores*

Peter: I think we need something fast to wake everybody up.

Nathan: But I have a lighted tree stick here. What am I supposed to do with it?

Sylar: Stick it up your…

Matt: We could poke Sy with it.

Nikki: Peter, you got something fast and sexy?

Peter: Always!

Elle: Aren’t you a bit full of yourself?

Hiro: He is good guy. He can be full.

Nathan: Go ahead, little bro. I will find a place to put my stick.

Peter: *Raises eyebrow*

Nikki: Less talking, more singing!

Peter: *puts mic on stand, stands behind it, grabs micstand*

Hiro: Oooo, showtime!

Peter *sings*:

I found out
On a late night drive
In my winter coat
With my blood-shot eyes
My faith ain’t been
No friend of me
And the way I sin
Is hanging off of me

Nikki: That…is…hot!

Peter:
And I’m sorry
You can’t take me anywhere
Pretty soon we’re almost there
Baby, one more night
It’s been a long, long drive
And I’m way, way tired
I don’t need no
Back-up plan

I don’t want nobody
Nobody don’t want me
I’m so sad so lonely
But I’m always landing on my feet

Nathan: If I could still stand, I would be dancing.

Hiro: *hops up and down*

Peter:
One more time
With a sad, sad smile
And your white bread friends
In the circus life
All the one-way rides
The sweet beginners
Passing on the left-hand side
With a sideways smile

Sylar: Funny, he would sing about a sideways smile…

Peter:
And I’m always
One step from stalling
Bad trips can make great stories
Dance all night
With your ass on fire
And your hands up high
And feel me one more time

Matt: Is he singing about what I think he is singing?

Nathan: You tell me.

Elle: Ewwwww

Peter:
I don’t want nobody
Nobody don’t want me
I’m so sad so lonely
But I’m always landing on my feet

Nathan: Flight lessons from big bro…

Peter:
I learn to love myself
And I don’t need no one else
And when a love moves on
Cuz it gets cold
Then another love moves in
And it can fill the hole

Matt: That erased my last doubt.

I’m one more
Hopeful lying on the bedroom floor
No sense trying
When the whole thing drops
You lose your nerve
I hope you get what you deserve

Sylar: Everybody will. *Grins*

Peter:
I don’t want nobody
Nobody don’t want me
I’m so sad so lonely
But I’m always landing on my feet

Nikki: That was amazing!

Sylar: You have been flirting with all the guys all night!

Peter: Someone is getting jealous. *Grins*

The very next day at camp Unopusored at 6 am sharp.

JP: God morning everyone! Rise and shine for your next immunity challenge!

Noah: *Yawns* You can’t be serious! *Blinks several times*

Nathan: Go away!

JP: Nikki, Sylar, Hiro! Wake up time!

Hiro: *Grabs around.* Where are my glasses?

Nikki (who is comfortably wedged between Sylar and Nathan): Nikki is not here. Go away.

Matt: *Groans* Please everyone stop singing ‘La cucaracha’

JP: No one is singing. Not today. *Grins* But that song was on the radio about a minute ago.

Matt: Oh shit! I wondered where that accordion came from.

JP: Peter, come on, challenge time!

Peter: *Yawns, stretches, ruffles his hair and gets up.*

Hiro: Nikki, why are my glasses in your, your, your outfit?

Nikki: *Grabs them out of her bra.* I don’t know. For safekeeping?

Hiro: Peter, do you know why my glasses were where they were?

Peter: No man, I went to sleep like a good little boy.

Matt: Ahhhh! Why does it have to be a Spanish station? I don’t speak Spanish.

JP: Are you telling me that you pick up radio stations in your head when you have a hangover? *Guaffs*

Matt: Yeah, why don’t you make fun of me?

JP: That could actually keep you entertained during our challenge.

Matt.: No way. I need to go back to sleep, or I’ll go crazy.

Nathan: Putting on a challenge right now is really mean.

JP: *Grins*

Noah: Quit whining. Be a man!

Peter: *Sings softly* Everybody hurts, sometime.

JP: Where is Elle?

Peter: Somewhere in that tree over there.

JP: Why?

Peter: You gotta ask Sylar. He put her there.

JP: Ok, Sylar! Sylar!!!!!

Sylar: Huh?

JP: Two things, why is Elle in that tree and we need the immunity idol back.

Sylar: Elle? Oh, yeah, it seemed like a good idea….*Snores*

JP: Sylar!!!!!!

Sylar: What?

JP: The idol!!!

Sylar: Oh, it’s on that pole over there. *Tk’s it over to JP.*

JP: *Ducks under a flying frying pan.* Don’t bother Sylar, I’ll get it myself.

Nikki: *Snuggles*

JP: All right, todays challenge is a simple standing challenge. You will stand on a pole. The survivor who stands the longest time will win immunity.

Nathan: There is not one part of me that is able to stand at this moment.

Noah: That was more detailed than we needed to know.

JP: Ok, who is with me? Everyone who doesn’t get up now, automatically forfeits their chance.

Peter: I’m here.

Noah: I am ready.*Wobbles and rubs his eyes*

Hiro: I try. *Blinks many times, shakes his head* Ouch.

Everyone else: *Snores*

Down by the beach a little bit later

JP: Ok, simple challenge. Step on, stay on. If your feet leave the platform, you lose.

Noah: That is not a platform. That is a dinner plate.

Hiro: You are just big foot.

Noah: Who are you calling Bigfoot?

Peter: *Swims out to pole and gets on platform.*

Hiro and Noah: *Follow*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: Peter is getting his feet around the platform and hugs the pole. Hiro is standing on the edge of the platform with very little room and has the pole in the back. Noah is having trouble holding on to the pole. He is sliding up and down on it a bit. Now he’s got it. But I doubt he can keep his back arched out for long.

Noah: Let that be my problem.

Peter: This is actually nice. I like the gentle breeze.

Hiro: I’m dizzy.

Peter: Close your eyes.

Hiro: I tried that. Makes me more dizzy.

Noah: *Sways*

A little while later….

Hiro: *Sings softly* Hakunat Matata, what a wonderful phrase…

Noah: Stop it!

Hiro: Leave me alone. I am trying to go to my happy place!

Peter: *Chuckles*

Noah: Hey JP, how many hours have we been on here?

JP: That would be 7 minutes.

Noah: Oh, that long. *Slides into a crouch.*

Hiro: I can’t find happy place. *Slides off the pole.*

JP: Ok, that’s it for Hiro. Great job coming out and participating!

Noah: I..will.. do… this!

Peter: *Whistles*

A little while later…

Peter: JP, I think you guys should check on Noah, he is all glassy eyed.

JP: Noah! Noah!!!!!

Noah: Huh? No, it is not my turn for carpool!

JP: Are you awake?

Noah: Sure I am. Peanut butter!

Peter: He is delirious.

JP: What makes you an expert all of a sudden?

Peter: Hello? RN!

JP: Oh , I forgot.

Peter: So does everyone else until they get sick.

Noah: I hate ballet!

Hiro (from the shore): I love it!

Noah:*Lifts one leg in the air, stands on one leg on the platform and looks at the open sea.*

JP: What are you doing?

Hiro: I think he is being a pirate.

Noah: *Loses his balance and falls off the pole.*

JP: And with that, Peter wins this immunity challenge. Not that it is a big surprise, but hey.

Peter: Dude, he is not coming up.

JP: Oh shit!

Peter: *Jumps after Noah, pulls him out of the water and carries him to shore.*

Hiro: Does anybody know CPR?

Peter: No, I just really want to kiss the guy.*Does CPR*

Noah: *Sputters, coughs, hits around himself wildly.*

JP: Are you alright?

Noah: What? Did I win?

JP: Nope, Peter did.

Noah: Man!

Hiro: He also saved your life!

Noah: He has this people saving complex.

Peter: A simple ‘thank you’ would have been too much, wouldn’t it?

Noah: Erm, well, hm, thank you.

JP: OK, now that we have established that you are all fine, let’s move on.

Hiro: Huh? Move?

JP: Peter, here is the immunity idol. And now you will have to send one of the tribe members to the secluded island. But only those who have not forfeit.

Peter: So either Noah or Hiro.

Noah: Quick as a whistle…

Peter: *Zaps Noah*

Noah: Ouch!

JP: So?

Peter: Do I have to?

JP: Yes.

Peter: Alright. Hiro goes to the island.

Hiro: Yatta!!!!

JP: Good, Hiro, come with me and you two head back to camp.

Peter: *Flies off*

Noah: Show off. *Walks slowly back.*

Much, much later that day at camp Unopusored

Matt: Thank god, that static is over…

Nikki: I think I need to go talk with…I think I need to get some more water….

Nathan: I could use some headache medicine right now. Maybe one tablet, or two, or three, or four, or five…

Elle: Who the hell put me in that tree?

Noah: You have three guesses…

Elle: Could have been anybody.

Noah: Yeah, right, you are absolutely right.

Sylar: It was me, little spark plug. Why do you wanna know?

Elle: I hate you so much!!!

Sylar: I love you!

Elle: You do?

Sylar: *Snickers and goes to wash up*

Matt: Where is Peter?

Noah: I think he is still zooming around the mountain.

Nathan: Ah, I think I should join him.

Matt: *Giggles*

Nathan: What are you giggling for?

Matt: I was just wondering if all of your parts were ready to stand again…

Nathan: Very funny, Mr. Human antenna.

Sylar:*Comes back* So, will there be a tribal council tonight?

Noah: Yep.

Sylar: So, Peter has immunity and Hiro is off to that island. *Scratches head* OK.

Matt: I don’t wanna think today.

Nikki: *Comes back* I am, how should I say. Hm. I better don’t say anything.

Nathan: We love you too.

All the men: *Snicker*

Elle: I wish, West was still here…

Noah: We know.

Matt: West is MINE!

Elle: That is just ewwwwww.

Matt: I am hotter than you are. Even Noah said so.

Noah: I did?

Matt: Maybe not in so many words…

Noah: Oh, I remember. I do think yours are a bit bigger than hers.

Sylar: Her what?

Matt: Eyebrows, we are talking about eyebrows.

Sylar: No you’re not.

Noah: That’s right. We are not.

Elle: Just eff off, all of you.

Nathan: *Flies off*

At the tribal council grounds
JP:Welcome guys to tribal council!

Tribe Unopusored: *Walks in, does the torch thing*

JP: Please welcome the first member of our jury, the Haitian.

Haitian: *Walks in, sits down*

JP: As you know, members of the jury are here to observe only. There will be no talking with the jury.

Sylar: I bet he has a hard time containing himself.

JP: So, how does it feel to not be able to participate in a challenge, Sy?

Sylar: *Silence*

JP: Sylar?

Sylar: Oh that. That was not my thing anyway. Too boring.

JP: It turned out to be quite dramatic, with Noah almost drowning and all.

Nathan: He what?

Noah: Is there nothing that can be kept confidential here? You are all blabbermouths.

Elle: I would have liked to see that!

Sylar: So, who saved you?

Noah: Erm…

Peter: He saved himself.

JP: Peter, why would you say that?

Nathan: *Ruffles Peter’s hair.* Because he is humble like that.

Sylar: Or too stupid to let nature take it’s course.

Nikki: OK, next time you are in the water, I keep that in mind.

Matt: I will never get drunk again.

Peter: Aww, come on, you were doing such a beautiful job razzeling and dazzeling us.

Matt: That part was fun, but that radio stuff was brutal.

Noah: Are we done with reminiscing yet? I wanna vote!

JP: We might as well. Nikki, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Noah: And join the jury. That is the screwed up part.

Nathan: Thanks for that explanation, we would have never known otherwise.

Noah: You are turning into quite the little punk.

Nathan: *Laughs himself silly*

JP: I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote, Elle.

JP: Second vote, Sylar.

JP: Third vote, Elle

JP: Fourth vote, Sylar.

JP: Fifths vote, Elle.

JP: Sixths vote, Elle

JP:*Reads last vote* Next person voted out of survivor is Elle. Elle, please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Elle: *Brings torch*

JP: *Snuffs it out*

Elle: *Zaps it back on*

JP: *Snuffs it out again.* Girl, we can do this all night long, you are still gone.

Elle: *Leaves*

JP: The rest of you, go back where you came from.

Nathan: Don’t tempt me. A night in the mansion sounds mighty nice right now.

Sylkar: Lucky rich kid.

Matt: *Groans* I think I need a ride, Nate.

Nathan: You are a backache-inducing mountain. I’ll pass.

Nikki: What? He did give you a ride before? *Snickers*

Peter: *Grabs Matt by the shoulder and teleports.*

Noah: I hate super powers.

Voting slips for the Elle vote:

Nikki: (Parchment says Elle) I am woman enough for this tribe. *Grins*

Sylar: (Parchment says Elle) You had your chance, spark plug. You should have come round.

Noah: (Parchment says Sylar) Why are you still here anyways?

Peter: (Parchment says Elle) Wrong alliance, babe. *Winks*

Elle: (Parchment says Sylar) That was the last time you put me in a tree.

Matt: (Parchment says Elle) We should have done this ages ago.

Nathan: (Parchment says Elle) I will so not miss you.

The next day at camp Unopusored.

Noah: This is a much better day! *Stretches*

Sylar: Looks like it’s gonna rain.

Noah: So what? Can’t take a little precipitation?

Sylar: Whatever.

Nathan: I was so expecting Elle to ask what that is… *Grins*

Peter: Yeah, but would you have told her?

Nathan: Maybe…

Nikki: There comes Hiro.

Peter: Hehe, look at his shirt.

Matt: Look at his hair!

Hiro: What?

Noah: You look just a little roughed up.

Hiro: Let me assure you, I am fine. *Grins*

Nathan: I believe you.

Hiro: I am Hiro and I have a lover!

Nathan: Just one?

Noah: TMI! The both of you!

Hiro: So, what did I miss?

Peter: Elle got voted off.

Hiro: Good

Matt: Could anybody make some food? I am hungry.

Peter: Why don’t you cook for once?

Matt: I am not the cooking type.

Sylar: No, you are the eating type.

Matt: *Squints at Sylar*

Sylar: *Does back flips*

Peter: Impressive!

Sylar: Stop it!!!

Matt: Ok *Chuckles*

Hiro: Noah, are you feeling better?

Noah: I am fine!

Peter: He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Hiro: What? He sensitive now?

Nathan: Hey Nikki, I feel like going on a float ride. Wanna come with?

Nikki: Sure!

Nathan and Nikki: *Leave*

Sylar: What was that all about?

Peter: Once the girls have tasted sweet Petrelli lovin’ they’ll never go back.*Grins*

Two days later at the challenge location

JP: Welcome to the next challenge

Nikki, Noah, Matt and Sylar: *Walk in*

JP: Where are Nathan, Peter and Hiro?

Noah: They were still sleeping when we left camp.

Nathan: *Flies in*

Sylar: Some of these days they’ll shot you down.

Nathan: *Shrugs*

JP: That leaves Hiro and Peter.

Hiro: *Pops up*

Peter: *Pops up*

JP: Ahh!

Noah: You should have never allowed them to use those powers.

Hiro: You are just jealous.

JP: First things first. Peter, can I please get the immunity idol?

Peter: *Hands it over*

JP: Immunity, back up for grabs.

Sylar: And eternally speaks the teleprompter…

JP: Let’s get to the challenge. In this challenge you will not do one thing, except for picking a proxy.

Everyone: What???

JP: Well, we have a number of rejects that we never used. You get to pick one of them. Then you get to train them for a couple of hours and let them do the challenge for you.

Matt: That sounds seriously screwed up.

JP: That is why it’s fun!

Hiro: Who is it?

JP: Tailies and such.

Matt: OK

Hiro: What’s a taily?

Nathan: Not someone you want to trust your chances in. Believe me.

JP: Now guys, you will draw some string and the one with the longest string gets to pick first, followed by the next shorter one until the shortest string.

Tribe:*Does just that*

JP: Now welcome our proxies: Monika, Maya, Alejandro, Brody, Zach, Heidi and Caitlin.

JP: Sylar, who do you pick?

Sylar: Monica!

Monica: Sweet!

JP: Noah?

Noah: Brody! That bitch is mine!

Brody: What am I doing here? Who are those people??

JP: Nikki?

Nikki: I think I’ll go with Zach.

Zach: Are you one of those weird chicks too?

Nikki: You have no idea.

JP: Nathan?

Nathan: Heidi. How can I not pick my wife?

Heidi: I’ll remind you when this thing airs.

Nathan: Shit!

JP: Hiro?

Hiro: I take the girl.

JP: There are two girls left.

Hiro: There are?

JP: Which one do you pick?

Hiro: *Points.*

JP: Maya, go over to Hiro.

JP: Matt?

Matt: I take the dark one.

JP: Alejandro, go over to Matt.

JP: Peter, that leaves you with Caitlin.

Peter: It’s ok.

Caitlin: What do you mean? OK? I am your freaking girlfriend!

Peter: Where is the Haitian when you need him?

About 3 hours later:

JP: Well survivors and proxies, come back in from your training sessions.

Maya: He is cute, he did not make me cry.

Hiro: I wanna live.

Brody: Mama!!!!! I wanna go home!!!!!

Noah: Suck it up!

Alejandro: That is called a training session?

Matt: I didn’t do anything! I swear!

Heidi: *scoffs*

Nathan: That was the longest argument I ever had. And I am a politician.

Monika: Too bad you guys don’t have a TV here.

Sylar: I showed you all the moves you need, baby.

Zach: I saw some cool moves too.

Nikki: Told ya.

Caitlin: Jeff is it true that contestants are forbidden to make out with each other?

Peter: *Squints and stares at JP for all it’s worth*

JP: Why? Oh, yeah, totally.

Brody: *cries*

JP: Let’s get to the challenge. We have put together elements of your former challenges and combined them. The proxy who finishes the challenge first, wins immunity for his or her survivor and a full day at camp Unopusored.

Peter (*whispers to Nathan*): Somehow I really don’t want to win anymore.

Nathan(*whispers back*): Me neither.

JP: Survivor proxies ready? Go!

JP: And they are off! Monika taking the lead on the balance beams. Followed by Brody who seems to do anything to get away from Noah as quickly as possible. Next are Alejandro, Zach and Maya. Heidi is also making headway, although she does not look happy at all. Last is Caitlin who is humming a song while balancing over the beam.

JP: Next up are the Food items. Two fried spiders, and one fried locust to be exact.
Here we have Maya and Alejandro taking the lead. They seem hungry. Monika is finniky, but she gets to it. Brody wolfs down what he sees. Zach fidgets, but yes, he’s got it. Heidi and Caitlin do a good job there too. They even manage to make up time.

Noah: Brody! Brody! Brody!

Matt: I think that scares him , dude.

Noah: It should.

JP: Here we are at the archery challenge. And Monika hits the target right away. Heidi really caught up and does an excellent shot at the bullseye.

Nathan: I can guess what she imagined there…

JP: Maya and Alejandro hit the target, but not the bullseye. Zach gets a decent shot in. Caitlin hits a bullseye too. Brody misses.

Noah: Argh!

JP: Now we are at the puzzle station. Monika solves her puzzle and can move on. Maya and Alejandro are …well… puzzled. Brody stares forlorn at a nearby tree. Zach and Heidi have figured it out. Caitlin is swearing, loudly.

JP: At the last station, the rope net, are now Monika, who has scaled almost half of it, Heidi and Zach. Zach is making up time, but Monika is already out. And now she is running up the platform and wins immunity!!!!!

Monika: WOOOHOO! WOOOHOOO! This is so COOL!

Sylar: Good girl!

JP: Here you go Sylar; Your immunity idol.

Sylar: Thanks!

JP: So Sylar, who will go to the island ?

Sylar: I think Peter deserves a little R & R.

Peter: Why?

JP: Alright. Proxies, thanks for playing, you will be escorted home now. Monika, you’ll stay one day at camp. Survivors, head back to camp, Peter, you go on the island.

Caitlin: Can I go with on the island?

Peter: Hell, no!

Later that day at camp Unopusored

Nikki: Hey Monika girl! How come you got stuck with all the tailies?

Monika: Beats me. They were a miserable bunch.

Noah: Don’t remind us!

Hiro: What the hell is a taily??? I did not see tails on any of them!

Matt: If you fly on a plane. The guys sitting in front are the cool table and the guys in the back aren’t. They are the tailies.

Hiro: Why?

Matt: Because it was decided about 2 years ago that this is the way it is. And another thing, the coolest of all is the pilot.

Hiro: Oh, ok. I was so lost before.

Noah: So what is your super power anyway, girl?

Sylar: What? You don’t know her file?

Noah: I might. But why don’t you let her talk?

Monika (proudly): I can mimic everything everyone else can do.

Nathan: *Gets up, flies a loop around the camp site, sits down again.* Can you do that?

Monika: Erm, no.

Nathan: Then you might want to modify your claim there a bit.

Monika: Is he always so grouchy?

Nikki: No, he just saw his wife, cut him some slack.

Monika: Oh, ok.

Matt: What was that thing, Peter was with?

Noah: That is what happens when the Haitian oversteps his limits.

Matt: Huh?

Noah: Poor guy had his taste neurons fried for a while.

Matt: Was the Haitian around when I married Janice?

Noah: I can check that for you.

Sylar: Hey Hiro, how was your time with goo face?

Hiro: Well, mostly she talked about how she wants to off you. She has all these weird schemes going.

Sylar: Yeah, that’s not gonna work.

Hiro: Not if she is by herself, no.

Sylar: What do you mean?

Hiro: *Grins*

Matt: I let her brother cook for me. His food was not half bad…

Monika: I am so excited to be here! Can we party? Can we? Can we?

Hiro: Please, not another excited teenager!!!

Nikki: We have tribal council coming up. No party tonight.

Monika: Awwww.

White text:

On the hidden island

Peter: Arrives on the island.* He stands on the beach and looks around.*

A woman with long red hair comes out from behind a boulder.

Peter: It is you! How have you been? I haven’t seen you since Christmas! *Smiles and walks toward the woman.*

HFM: Took you a long time to get out here. *Smiles, holds out her hand*

Peter: You know, I have this game to play.*takes her hand and walks with her*

HFM: I know honey, I know.

HFM and Peter: *Walk along the beach and…

…..the next 8 pages are strictly censored.

At tribal council

JP: Welcome to tribal council. Monika, you need to go over there. You are not part of the tribe.

Monika: Yeah, yeah, taily, I know.

Sylar: But a cute one. *Winks*

JP: Please light your torches. In this game, fire means life. If your torch is gone, so are you.

Noah: What was that for?

JP: Yes, I got to say it!!!

Noah: The things you count as victories. *Shakes head, lights torch.*

JP: Please welcome the members of our jury. The Haitian and Elle who was voted out at the last tribal council.

Sylar: Dude, we were there.

Hiro: I wasn’t. Oh, yeah it is obvious…

Elle: *Sits down on the Jury bench and then zaps all the remaining players*

Everyone: Ouch! Bitch! Why you!

JP: Elle!

Elle: What? I didn’t say anything.

JP: Now guys, the tribe is getting pretty small. Is it getting harder to vote people off?

Noah: Nope. I am badass.

JP: Nikki, how about you?

Nikki: Well, whatever happens, we will all have fond memories of each other…

Matt: I like the way she said that.

Sylar: I wanna vote!

Hiro: Why did you put tribal council area in snake pit??*Hits and kills a snake*

Nathan: I think it is supposed to have symbolic undertones.

Hiro: They can shove their symbolism up their…

Nathan: Yes, snakes are not nice.

JP: It is time for you to vote. Hiro, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Elle: *Snores*

Sylar: *Tk’s her so she falls over.*

JP: Sylar!

Sylar: What? I didn’t say anything.

JP: I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote, Nathan

JP: Second vote, Sylar

JP: Third vote, Nathan

JP: Fourth vote, Sylar

JP: Fifth vote, Nathan

JP: Next person voted out of survivor is Nathan. Please bring me your torch, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Nathan: Well it was fun as long as it lasted. Say ‘hi’ to Pete from me, will ya?

Hiro: Yes sir!

JP: The rest of you, head on back to camp.

Voting slips for the Nathan vote:

Hiro: (Parchment says Nathan) I am sorry *Bows*

Nikki: (Parchment says Nathan) I meant that with the memories.

Matt: (Parchment says Sylar) You are getting far too dangerous.

Noah: (Parchment says Nathan) I guess we just shot you down, Flyingman.

Nathan: (Parchment says Sylar) I am just fed up with those Sybrows.

Sylar: (Parchment says Nate) Finally. I thought I would never get you guys apart.

The next afternoon at camp Unopusored

Hiro: Udon are not Spaghetti!

Sylar: Yes they are!

Hiro: No they are different!

Sylar: It’s all noodles!

Noah: How infantile can you two get?

Nikki: At least they are talking and not moping around all day like Matt.

Sylar: He misses his eye candy.

Matt: I am just not looking forward to what is gonna happen when Peter comes back.

Sylar: Oh, I’m so scared!!*snickers*

Matt: You should be. Voting Nathan off at this point was just stupid.

Noah: Don’t tell us how to play the game. And don’t even try to get in our heads!

Matt: Maybe I should have gotten into your head. But I didn’t. Live and learn. If you guys would have wanted to get rid of Nate, you should have done it in the beginning on tribe Pesored.

Hiro: That sounds easier than it was.

Matt: All I know is, Peter will be pissed.

Noah: Where is he anyway? It’s almost evening.

Hiro: Well it is really not so easy to leave the place…

Matt: I wonder if they have donuts.

Noah: You are one seriously screwed up dude.

Nikki: Sy, could you glow for a sec? We need to get the fire going.

Sylar: *Glows*

Peter: *Flies in with a big grin on his face* Hi guys!

Hiro: Hello

Peter: Hey, where is Nathan?

Matt: He got voted off.

Peter: WHAT????

Sylar: The tribe has spoken…

Peter: YOU DID EFFIN WHAT??

Matt: Calm down.

Peter: You just got me from the happiest I have been in a long time to the most miserable. THANKS A LOT, YOU EFFIN LYING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt: Told ya, he would be pissed.

Peter: *Tk’s the hut over and flies off*

Nikki: I think that went well.

Hiro: I am scared now.

Nikki: Come to mama.

Sylar: What?

Noah: We better rebuild that hut. I can see lightning in the mountains. It’s gonna be bad weather.

Matt: That’s not weather. That is Peter.

Hiro: More reason to rebuild.

The next morning

JP: Welcome back to your next immunity challenge

Tribe: *Walks in*

JP: So, how are you doing Peter? I heard you had quite an outburst last night.

Peter: I am better now. *Grins*

JP: Well actually, I saw it too. That was some impressive lightning.

Peter: Thanks!

Noah: The pebble rain was a bit much.

Peter: Would you rather have liked the whole boulders?

Noah: Erm, no.

Matt: Who is Jennifer?

JP: My girlfriend. …GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Nikki: Not really here are we, Jeff? Hm?

JP: Let’s get to the challenge. We have secured ropes to this cliff along the waterfall. You will climb up those ropes to the top of the cliff, retrieve a bottle with a message in it. Then you will have to get down again. Only if the bottle is intact, can you continue. Once you are back down, you will open the bottle and retrieve the message. Then simply do what it says. The first survivor who finishes this challenge, wins immunity, all others go to tribal council.

Sylar: I hate water!

Hiro: I hate climbing.

Nikki: It’s all wet and slippery.

Noah: I thought you liked that.

Matt: There is no way I will win this. Why can’t we play Boccia instead?

JP: Quit whining all of you. Survivors ready! Go!

JP: And they are off. Noah, Peter and Sylar are climbing up the ropes. Peter is going up in a breeze. Matt is struggling, but he is on his way. Nikki also very nicely up . Everyone is getting sprayed by the waterfall. Hiro is standing on the ground. Hiro is standing on the top of the cliff.

Peter now flies the rest of the way. Noah is swearing like crazy. Sylar is also on top of the cliff now. Peter is flying down with his bottle already. Hiro can’t seem to find his bottle.

Matt is not putting any effort in anymore and just slides down. Nikki is up and even Noah is up. Peter is down and has some trouble opening the bottle. Now Sylar is throwing himself over the cliff. That doesn’t look good. Ah he catches himself, but loses the bottle in the water. Don’t look at me Sylar, dive for it!!!

Noah now on his way down with the bottle. Nikki got hers too. Ah, she slips and the bottle breaks. Sorry Nikki! Hiro is still searching for his bottle. Peter is still fighting with the stopper. Sylar is poking the water with a stick.

Now Noah is down and has his bottle too. Peter gets his open, Noah has his open too. Peter and Noah read. And with a little florish Peter does the cartwheel that we wanted to see. Immunity goes to Peter!

Noah: *Swears and swears and swears.*

Sylar: Peter didn’t follow the rules!

JP: Look who is talking.

Nikki: I really wasn’t in the mood for a shower.

JP: Peter, come get your idol.

Peter: *Grins, takes idol and puts it around his neck*

Matt: I call dips on that island!

JP: No more island.

Matt: Why?

JP: Because it is now otherwise occupied.

Matt: Dangit!

Noah: A cartwheel. What am I? A &*^%$%&* cheerleader?

Sylar: No, that would be your daughter.

JP: Head back to camp.

Peter: *Flies off*

Hiro: *Teleports*

Matt: I hate it when they do that.

Next day at camp Unopusored.

Matt: I’m hungry.

Sylar: What else is new?

Matt: I have to take care of my beautiful bodacious body.

Sylar: Frighteningly fat is more like it.

Peter: Sylar, stop picking on Matt.

Noah: He speaks!

Sylar: Or, what? Will I get hit by Petrelli wrath?

Matt: Thanks Pete!

Peter: *Tips his sun hat and then gets back to napping*

Noah: Seriously, he hasn’t spoken two sentences since we have been back from the challenge.

Matt: What do you expect? Kumbajah songs?

Hiro: We could catch some fish.

Nikki: How would we do that? Peter tk’d the float with the fishing rods away the other night.

Hiro: We go in water where the fish are. We freeze time. We grab fish. We collect fish in basket. We unfreeze time. We go out of water.

Noah: Why haven’t you said so earlier? Let’s go!!!

Hiro: I was not hungry earlier.

Matt: I was hungry earlier.

Hiro: Your stomach is not my problem. *Leaves with Noah*

Matt: I think I will eat some coconut. Can anyone roast it for me?

Nikki: Don’t look at me. I am the cool chick, I don’t cook.

Matt: How do you feed Micah?

Nikki: Probably the same way you feed Molly.

Matt: That’s bad!

Sylar: I’m bored.

Nikki: Then do something.

Sylar: *Tk’s little sticks at Peter*

Matt: Dude! Unwise!

Sylar: Nope, funny.

Nikki: It is entertaining in a crude way.

Peter: *Wakes up*

Sylar: *Tk’s some more*

Peter: WTF?!

Matt: Sybrows is bored.

Peter: So what? Leave me alone.

Sylar: Crying for mommy?

Peter: No need. *Tk’s a frying pan at Sylar*

Sylar: Ouch!

Matt: Hihi.

Sylar: *Raises water out of the cooking pot and splashes Peter*

Peter: OKAY! You wanna piece of me? Do you? Come and get it!! *Gets up and zaps Sylar in the chest*

Sylar: Hey, this is turning into fun. *Tk’s a big branch at Peter*

Peter: *Teleports and Tk’s some coconut milk on Sylar*

Sylar: *Deepfreezes the milk into a milksnowball and sends it back*

Peter: *Sends it back again*

Matt: That reminds me of tennis.

Sylar: *Jumps out of the way and tk’s the immunity idol around Peter’s neck into a tight loop*

Peter: *Teleports out of Sylar’s grip and to a place right beside him, then screams in his ear*

Sylar: *Crouches down and pulls Peters feet from under him.*

Peter: *Sends Sylar flying into the wall of the hut, crashing the hut again*

Nikki: Aw, man, leave the hut!

Peter: Sorry!

Sylar: *Sends several rocks flying at Peter*

Peter: *Sends the firewood over to Sylar.*

Sylar and Peter: *Are sitting in front of the broken hut with their hands tied up*

Hiro: You two idiots! Can’t you behave like men? Do you need to fight like little boys and destroy our camp?

Noah: That was impressive, Hiro. Almost as much as your ‘She bangs’ interpretation.

Hiro: Thank you.

Nikki: I like it when they are tied like that.

Matt: I like it too.

Peter: I don’t. *Phases through the rope*

Nikki: Aww

Sylar: I still think this was fun.

Hiro: No carp for you!

That night at tribal council
JP: Welcome back to tribal council!

Tribe Unopusored : *Walks in and quickly does the torch thing*

JP: Okay, okay, I did not plan on saying it anyways.

Nikki: You look different. Did you go tanning?

Peter: That is more red than tan.

Matt: *Squints and giggles*

JP: How often do I have to tell you to stay out of my head?!!

Matt: Sorry. *Is still giggling*

JP: Please welcome the members of our jury. The Haitian, Elle and Nathan, who got voted out at the last tribal council.

The Haitian and Elle: *Walk in, sit down*

JP: Where is Nathan?

Nathan: *Flies in, skids to a halt, sits down on the bench and winks at Peter*

JP: Good, now that we are all here, let’s get started.

Noah: Do we have to have this psycho babble again?

JP: Yes. As a matter fact, let’s start with you. Noah, how do you feel as the only one left without special abilities?

Noah: Don’t you worry. I have special abilities aplenty.

Nikki: Yeah, like snoring so loud that the rats get scared.

JP: Matt: I heard you had a hard time procuring food. Why don’t you just make them cook for you?

Matt: Because I am not using my powers on them in a forceful way.

JP: Why not? You have no problem rummaging in my head all the time.

Matt: Are you a contestant?

JP: Moving on. Hiro, I heard you broke up a fight today.

Hiro: Yes.

JP: Do you think you could spend more than one word on it?

Hiro: I wanted a place to sleep tonight. And they were tearing the place apart.

JP: ‘They’ being Sylar and Peter?

Hiro: Yes.

JP: Peter, what was this fight about?

Peter: Nothing.

JP: Sylar, what do you have to say to that?

Sylar: Nothing.

JP: Ugh! Pulling teeth must be easier.

Noah: Why don’t we just vote?

JP: Not yet. We need to talk first, so that the jury can get an impression.

Noah: So, what’s next? The ‘Feelings chart’?

JP: Going back to the challenge: Matt, that was the third challenge you basically sat out. Aren’t you afraid that this will bite you in the butt?

Matt: Who will bite me in the butt?

Nikki: What an image. *Snickers*

Peter: *Shakes head and grins*

JP: Arrrgh!

Matt: We will see, Jeff. We will see.

JP: Peter?

Peter: What?

JP: How does it feel to see Nathan again but him being on the other side of the fence?

Peter: Fence? *Grins* I’m just messing. Yeah, well he looks good. *Waves*

JP: That was very informative indeed. Get voting already! Matt, you’re up!

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

JP: I go tally the votes.

Noah: He is finally doing something useful.

JP: First vote, Hiro.

JP: Second vote, Sylar.

JP: Third vote, Sylar. That is one vote Hiro and two votes Sylar.

JP: Fourth vote, Sylar.

JP: Fifths vote is Sylar. That is enough. Next person voted out of survivor is Sylar. Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Sylar: Wow, just like that, huh? *Leaves*

JP: Interesting. Did the little fight have anything to do with it?

Everybody: *Silence*

JP: You can…

Peter and Hiro: *Teleport*

JP: …head back to camp now.

Matt: Here we go again.

Nikki: Come on Teddybear, maybe I will even bite your butt.

Voting slips for the Sylar vote

Matt: (Parchment says Sylar) It is high time for you to go. High time…

Nikki: (Parchment says Sylar) I tell you one thing, Jess is in time-out right now.

Hiro: (Parchment says Sylar) You are too aggressive. And you ate my carp anyways.

Sylar: (Parchment says Hiro) You impressed me today. A little mistake on your part.

Peter: (Parchment says Sy) Have fun with spark plug. *Winks*

The same night at camp:

Noah: Wow, I guess that was pretty unanimous.

Peter: I am surprised he lasted this long.

Nikki: *Shakes her hair lose* I like self-control.

Hiro: Huh?

Matt: *Stretches* Yeah, no more Sylar slasher stories by the firelight. I am relieved.

Peter: I thought you liked them?

Matt: I did not!

Noah: Did you two get your wires crossed or something?

Peter: Constantly!

Hiro: I want something sweet to eat.

Peter: I can help you with that. *Teleports*

Nikki: Wow, what is this? Can I order something too?

Peter: *Comes back with a honeycomb*

Noah: Where did you find that?

Peter: In some tree.*Winks at Hiro*

Hiro: Tasty!

Matt: Gimme, gimme!

Nikki: Oh, I just love honey!

Peter: *Licks honey off his fingers and the side of his chin*

Noah: Damn it! *Gets himself some honey too*

Very, very early the next morning at camp Unopusored

Noah (whispers): Psst, pssst, Matt

Matt: *Groans, turns around*

Noah: Big guy wake up!

Matt: Aw man, I just had a dream about Mo….my, ahem.

Noah: I don’t want to know about your perverted pleasures. I need to talk with you.

Matt: Alright. *Gets up*

Noah: Lets get walking.

Noah and Matt leave the camp side. They walk down the beach.

Noah: So, is it true that you never used your powers on me?

Matt: What?

Noah: I mean to influence me in the vote.

Matt: Yeah, no, why?

Noah: What?

Matt: I’m the one who is not awake yet.

Noah: *Lowers gaze* I can see that.

Matt: So you are asking if I went into your head and manipulated you?

Noah: Yeah, that’s it.

Matt: Well, I sent you water lugging once.

Noah: Yep.

Matt: And Peter sent you tapdancing a few times.

Noah: I hate that. I really, really hate that!!!

Matt: Yeah, but how did it feel?

Noah: Huh?

Matt: *Squints*

Noah: *Tapdances* AAhhhhh!

Matt: *Stops* So did you feel a difference in your head?

Noah: No. Wait. Yes. Do it again!

Matt: *Squints*

Noah: *Tapdances*

Matt: You are a natural at tapdance, you should open a studio. *Snickers*

Noah: Enough!

Matt: *Stops it*

Noah: I don’t think I felt like that at other times.

Matt: Good. Can I go back to sleep now?

Noah: Nope. I want to know about you and Peter.

Matt: There is nothing to know.

Noah: Are you two an alliance?

Matt: When will you learn that there are no alliances in this tribe? Alliances are for wusses!

Noah: Hey, being badass is my game!

Matt: You can be the new James Bond for all I care. I am going back to sleep now.

Noah: Alright. Sweet Momos.

Matt: Thanks…. What?

Noah: I think I will jog a bit. *Runs off but breaks into dance leaps every few steps.*

The next day at the challenge location
JP: Welcome guys to our next immunity challenge.

Tribe: *Marches in.*

JP: First thing first, Peter, please give back the immunity idol.

Peter: *Returns it*

JP: What happened to it? It looks different.

Peter: Just a little rough play.

JP: Todays challenge is not physical. You just need to remember some details about your current and former tribe mates.

Noah: Ugh. Blabbermouth day.

JP: You are the born complainer, aren’t you?

Noah: I just miss my gun.

JP: Okay, we have little tablets for you guys. I will ask a question. You write, you reveal.

Hiro: We did this before.

Nikki: He is having dejavu

Hiro: No, I mean when we still were two tribes.

Noah: Yeah (in high pitched voice) I don’t wanna. It’s private! (in normal voice) I remember.

Peter: *Squints at Noah*

Noah: Cocadoodledooo!!!!

JP: Stop it, all of you!

Matt: I’m hungry.

JP: First question, what was the last thing Sandra bought for Mr. Muggles before she came to the island?

JP: Reveal: Nikki, Matt and Hiro say a bandana. That is right. Peter says dog food. Not a bad idea, but that is not right. They get their dog food delivered by a special service. Noah says a collar. Nope, that is wrong.

Noah: How the hell should I know what it was? She buys stuff for that pug all the time.

JP: Next question, who has Ando a major crush on?

JP: Reveal: Hiro, Matt and Peter say Hiro’s sister. They are right. Nikki says herself. That might be true, but that is not we were looking for. Noah says every girl on the planet. That might also be true, but that was also not what we were looking for.

JP: Next question. What highschool did Elle go to?

Reveal: Noah and Matt say homeschooled. That is right. Peter says stupid village high. That is not a valid answer. Hiro says, she has no education. That is also not a valid answer.

Hiro: That is the truth!

JP: That is not the answer we were looking for. Nikki wrote uncultured brat. Also not a point bringing answer.

Next question: What is Bob’s most favorite hobby?

JP: Reveal: Matt and Noah say fishing. That is right. Nikki says, being annoying. That is not an answer we can count. Peter says, torturing people and Hiro left his tablet blank. So no points for you there.

Next question, what is Matt’s wifes name?

Reveal: Peter and Nikki wrote Janice. That is right. Noah and Hiro wrote Mohinder. I don’t even wanna know. Matt wrote the evil bitch from hell. I am sorry Matt, I can’t count that.

Last question: How many children does Nathan have?

Reveal: Peter says 3 and Noah says 3 that we know of. I can give points for both answers. Nikki says 2, Matt says 1. Hiro says I don’t know. So no points for you three.

JP: Alright, that gives Nikki and Hiro two points each, Noah and Peter 3 points each and Matt is the winner of the immunity idol with 4 points.

Matt: Alright! I won immunity! Cool!

JP: *Hands the idol to Matt *Well Matt this challenge also comes with a reward. You and one other tribe member can go to the former Pesored camp where a massage and a feast wait for you. Who will you take?

Matt: Nikki!

Nikki: Score!

JP: The rest of you, head back to camp.

Peter and Hiro: *Teleport*

Noah: I am getting too old for this.

Later that day at camp Unopusored

Hiro: The fire went out.

Peter: No prob, *zaps*

Noah: You are a nice lighter.

Peter: Thanks. Wait? Was that a compliment?

Noah: Yeah, well, *grumbles*

Hiro: Time for fishing.

Peter: I don’t want to eat one more fish. I had enough fish. I can’t stand fish.

Hiro: So, you go hungry.

Peter: Or I go steal from the feast.

Noah: Awesome!

Hiro: You can’t do that!

Peter: Why not?

Hiro: Because they will disqualify you.

Noah: Shut up!

Peter: For the benefit of everyone, Noah is thinking that it would be great if I got disqualified and he would get his belly full at the same time.

Noah: Since when did you turn into a public broadcast system?

Hiro: Hehe, thank you Peter. Looks like box of rocks turned into box of marbles and has them all together.

Noah: Rocks, marbles, who cares? Makes all the same stupid racket.

Peter: You know, you are still talking in a human voice, because I could not make up my mind between a rooster, a pig and a dog.

Noah: Yeah, right.

Hiro: I would go with dog.

Peter: Why?

Hiro: Maybe his wife can understand him better then?

Peter: *Giggles*

Noah: Since when have you become so mean?

Hiro: I am just tired and hungry, that’s all.

Peter: Which brings us back to my earlier plan.

Meanwhile at the feast

Matt: First food, or first massage, first food, or first massage, I can’t make up my mind!

Nikki: *Dives into the food*

Matt: Thanks! *Dives into the food too*

Nikki: sho hy idddshoo ic jee?

Matt: hurgh?

Nikki: *swallows* So, why did you pick me?

Matt: caush urgh ottt!

Nikki: Besides that.

Matt: *Swallows* I am eating!!!!!!

Nikki: Whatever!

(Half a turkey mysteriously vanishes)

Back at camp Unopusored

Noah, Peter and Hiro rest in the shade. Noah is scaring the rats again.

Much later at the feast.

Matt: I am full.

Nikki: That took forever. I think I discovered a new ability you have. Eating without borders.

Matt: That was my first ability ever. *Grins* Come on, lets get a massage.

Nikki: Yeah. And then we talk.

Matt: All women ever want to do, is talk.

Nikki: Poor Matty, no wonder you love donuts so much.

Matt: *Takes his clothes off* Wow, I must have lost a ton of weight!

Nikki: *Stares*

At tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council.

Tribe: *Walks in an does the torch thing.*

JP: And now lets welcome the members of our Jury: The Haitian, Elle, Nathan, and Sylar who was voted out at the last tribal council.

The Haitian: *Walks in.*

JP: Where is everyone else?

Haitian: I think Sylar is still playing with Elle and Nate is MIA most of the time.

JP: Sylar is doing what?

Haitian: He drives her nuts, she zaps, he tk’s it back to her.

JP: Maybe you should sit between the both of them tonight.

Haitian: What am I? Their nanny?

Sylar and Elle: *Walk in and sit down.* Sylar is grinning.

Nathan: *Flies in and sits down too.*

JP: You know, the jury is really not supposed to make such a big deal out of itself.

Nathan: I haven’t said one thing. *Grins and winks*

JP: Back to the tribe, so Matt, how are you feeling?

Matt: Great!!!

JP: I wasn’t finished with my question. How are you feeling now that you have won immunity for the first time?

Matt: Yeah that. That is great too.

JP: So what are you so happy about?

Matt: Are you kidding? Food!!!!

JP: A man of simple pleasures.

Nikki: You can say that again.

JP: Do I detect a hint of disappointment?

Nikki: No, I just have never seen anyone eat so much.

JP: That is all there is to it?

Nikki: You are one nosy guy, you know that?

JP: Alright, Hiro, how was the morale at camp with you, Peter and Noah remaining without a feast?

Hiro: We were fine. We rested.

JP: Noah?

Noah: Yeah and Peter arf, arf, arf, *coughs, sputters*

JP: What the heck was that?

Noah: I got something in my throat.

JP: What was with Peter?

Noah: He can sing pretty songs.

JP: Peter?

Peter: What?

JP: Do you feel save tonight?

Peter: *Grins* We will see.

JP: Do you want to win a price for evasiveness?

Peter: That is not a price I had in mind, no.

JP: Be that as it may, it is time to vote. Noah, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Elle: *Zaps at Sylar*

Sylar: *Deflects*

JP: I go tally the votes. And stop that stupid zapping!

JP: First vote, Noah

JP: Second vote, Hiro

JP: Third vote, Hiro. That is two votes Hiro, one vote Noah.

JP: Fourth vote, Noah. That makes two votes each.

JP: Fifth vote: Hiro. The next person voted out of survivor is Hiro. Bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Hiro: I don’t think so. *Rummages in his pocket and pulls out a necklace.*

JP: Okay, that changes things. Hiro has got the hidden immunity idol.

Peter: What? You had that all the time?

Hiro: Yes.

Peter: Why didn’t you save Nate?

Hiro: I rather save myself now.

Peter: Point taken.

JP: Well, with Hiro save, the person voted off is the one who has the second most votes. So I guess Noah, this is it for you.

Noah: Dammit!

JP: The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Noah: *Leaves, grumbling*

JP: Alright, you four can head back to camp now.

Peter and Hiro: *Get a hold on Nikki and Matt and teleport*

JP: They all come and go so quickly around here…

Voting slips for the Hiro almost and then Noah vote

Noah: (Parchment says Hiro) I really like you, but that time stopping is scary.

Peter: (Parchment says Noah) Snore elsewhere.

Matt: (Parchment says Hiro) Well, she made a good case for it.

Nikki: (Parchment says Hiro) You are too mysterious for your own good.

Hiro: (Parchment says Mr. Bennet) You scheme too much.

Next morning at camp Unopusored

Nikki:*wakes up* I haven’t slept this good in a long time.

Peter *stretches*: Me neither. Finally did I not have to see any more disturbing images of Pomeranians killing half invisible people.

Matt: Oh, you got those too?

Hiro: That is super freaky.

Nikki: You think?

Matt: I am in the mood for breakfast.

Nikki: I am in the mood for something else. *Snuggles up to Peter*

Peter: Lay off, I am not into Sylar’s left overs.

Nikki: Hey!

Hiro: I could be….

Nikki: *Gets up* No man, not a chance.

Hiro: You say that now, but I know where my glasses were.

Matt: Pete, I think you pissed her off.

Peter: Well, for one she did not hide her real intentions very well and secondly, I also meant what I said.

Matt: Or are you afraid of her comparing notes?

Hiro: What notes?

Peter: Nope. I know what I can do. *Grins*

Matt: Like what?

Peter: Just combine levitation with super strengths and you get an idea.

Matt:Oh, …….

Hiro: What?

Matt: I am not going to explain this one.

Nikki: Hey guys, get up, the fire is out again!

Matt: Now why should I get up when the fire is out?

Nikki: Because if you don’t I will throw the cooking pot at you.

Matt: That sounds like a reason. *Gets up and helps Nikki.*

Hiro: So, final four. Cool.

Peter: You really threw me with that idol.

Hiro: Did you not realize that it was still in the game?

Peter: I forgot about it. I didn’t even look for it when I was on that island.

Hiro: Why not?

Peter: Too busy with other things.*Grins*

Hiro: Yeah, there is that.*Grins too*

Peter: Poor Matt never got to go.

Hiro: Yeah, but I heard that he got one hell of a massage from a Gene Simmons fan the other day at the reward.

Peter: Good, he deserved it.

Hiro: *Gets up too* Anyone want some more fish?

The next day at the challenge location

JP: Welcome back to the next challenge, Hiro, Nikki, Peter and Matt.

Tribe: *Walks in*

Matt: Why don’t you call us by our tribe name anymore?

JP: Because you are the final four and your tribe name is just as long.

Peter: *Giggles*

JP: Why are you giggling?

Peter: I finally figured out what it means.

JP: Nice job.

Hiro: What does it mean?

JP: I am not gonna tell you. You figure it out by yourself.

Hiro: Fair enough.

Nikki: So, what are we to do?

JP: First things first. Matt, please give me the immunity idol and Hiro please give me the hidden immunity idol. The hidden immunity idol is out of the game now. All that matters now is the one immunity idol Matt had. So, Immunity, back up for grabs!

Hiro: If it is out of the game, can I keep it as a souvenir?

Peter: Want me to take your picture with it? *Snickers*

JP: No Hiro, you can’t.

Nikki: That was such a touristy thing to ask.

JP: Now to the challenge. We constructed four giant scrabble boards for you. You will have 20 scrabble blocks with letters on them. You will have to use them to spell words so that you end up with 100 points of letters worth. The words need to make sense, they need to be in a common dictionary. And no, Urban Dictionary does not count. And they need to be spelled correctly. Also, all your letters need to be used.

Once you have reached 100 points, you will get a flag. You need to take the flag and put it on a pole and raise it up. The first member who does this, wins immunity.

Peter: Sorry Nikki. *Grins*

Matt: No fair, I can’t spell.

Hiro: Why sorry Nikki?

Matt: Peter has been corrupted, don’t mind him.

Nikki: I can spell and I also know what to do with poles, so don’t worry about me. *Grins too*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And they are off. Matt is laying out all the letter blocks and scratches his head. Nikki is laying out words. So is Peter. Hiro has already laid out quixotic and xylophone. No, Peter, Petrellicest is not a word we allow, think of something else. Nikki laid out pole and dance. Matt laid out policesman. Matt, you might want to check your spelling there. Hiro has added zen and pan. And with that he reaches his points and is handed his flag. He now runs to the flagpole and raises his flag. Hiro won immunity!

Matt: I hate this challenge.

Peter: I could have sworn that Petrellicest is a word.

JP: Hiro, here is your immunity idol.

Hiro: Yatta!

Nikki: You look nice with it on.

Matt: I liked it better on me.

JP: Guys, we are done here, you can head back to camp.

Peter: Nope, it is nice here.

JP: Huh?

Peter: I have had enough of being told where I can and can’t go on this island. This place is nice and shady, I’ll stay.

JP: No you don’t.

Peter: *Tk’s four letter s blocks, one letter k block, one letter i block, one letter a block, on letter y block and one letter m block in order.* Is that spelled correctly?

Nikki: I think so.*Grins*

Matt: *Chuckles* Reads like a little revolution. *Sits down on his q letter block.*

JP: MOVE!!!!

Nikki: Someone is a little frustrated. *Runs fingers through JP’s hair*

JP: This is getting too weird. *Leaves*

Hiro: Peter, just what did you do to that idol necklace?

Peter: I just melted the iron parts a bit.

That evening
JP: Welcome final four to tribal council.

Nikki, Peter, Matt and Hiro: *Walk in and do the torch thing.*

JP: We are really getting down to the wire here.

Matt: Wire would have worked, I think.

JP: What are you talking about?

Matt: Nothing.

JP: Lets welcome the members of our jury: The Haitian, Elle, Nathan, Sylar and Noah who got voted out at the last tribal council.

Everyone walks in and sits nicely on the jury bench. Noah grins broadly.

JP: Noah, you look happy.

Noah: I got my gun back. *Grins*

Matt: That so does not sound like a good idea.

JP: So, final four. How does it feel to come this far?

Final four: *Silence*

JP: Not that again. Nikki, what do you think?

Nikki: I think its cool.

JP: Matt, what about you?

Matt: Yeah, I like it. But I could use another reward challenge.

Peter: Or a trip to the island….

Hiro: I agree.

JP: The island will still be there when the game is over.

Peter: Sweet!

Nikki: Sweet like honey!

JP: Back to the game, did you expect to sit with the same people here, or did the game change directions for you a lot?

Hiro: I did not expect to be here at all.

JP: Peter, what about you?

Peter: I miss Nate.

Nathan: *Blows kiss*

JP: Could you stop that?

Nikki: Aww, let them.

JP: Nikki, do you miss someone?

Nikki: Nope

JP: Peter, what was that insubordination all about at the challenge?

Peter: Just what I said. I like to go on this island where I want to go and not be told all the time what to do and what not to do.

JP: That would really interfere with the shooting crews and the behind the scenes things.

Peter: I promise I won’t mess with them.

JP: Sorry.

Matt: I would. *Grins*

JP: Be that as it may, we have a little thing called voting to take care of. Peter, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes the decision is final and the person voted out is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Noah: *Shoots* BANG!!!!

JP: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Noah: Sorry, scorpion.

Matt: Told ya, not a good idea.

JP: Damnit!

Elle: Relax, man.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote, Nikki

JP: Second vote, Nikki

JP: Third vote, Peter

JP: Forth vote, Nikki

JP: Next person voted out of survivor is Nikki. Please bring me your torch, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Nikki: *Leaves*

JP: So, no more girls?

Matt: Nope, only donuts.

Peter and Hiro: *Teleport*

Matt: Dang, I said the wrong thing.

Parchment slips for the Nikki vote:

Peter: (Parchment says Nikki) Give my love to Nate.

Matt: (Parchment says Nikki) You should not have thrown that stuff at me.

Nikki: (Parchment says Peter) Nobody says No to me.

Hiro: (Parchment says Nikki) What goes around, comes around.

The next day at camp

Peter: Hiro what are you doing?

Hiro: Tai chi. It relaxes.

Peter: Cool. Can I do it too?

Hiro: Just follow the poses.

Matt: Poses?

Hiro: He is finally awake?

Matt: Cut me some slack, I had to walk all the way back by myself.

Peter: What took you so long anyway?

Matt: Ahem, well…

Hiro: I bet he got lost.

Peter: Seriously?

Matt: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Hiro and Peter: *Giggle*

Matt: So, what’s for breakfast?

Peter: No idea.

Hiro: How about some turkey? Turkey was tasty. *Makes constipated face and touches Matt.*

Matt: When did you guys have turkey?

Hiro: No turkey here.

Matt: I had turkey the other day at the feast. *Squints at Hiro*

Hiro: Stop it!

Matt: You stole it???

Hiro: No I didn’t.

Matt: You frikken stole it??

Peter: I did. But Hiro helped.

Matt: Are you nuts??

Hiro: You sure did not bring any leftovers.

Matt: What if I tell the survivor people?

Peter: Go ahead, and then I tell all the things you did.

Matt: No you wouldn’t.

Hiro: What things?

Peter: Come on, we all used our powers here and there.

Matt: Alright. You got a point.

Hiro: I want to know what things.

Matt: I’ll tell you after the game.

Peter: I think Hiro wants to know before the game is over.*Grins*

Matt: But wait, we just talked openly about you guys stealing turkey.

Hiro: Matt, look at that leaf.

Matt: What? Why?

Peter: Hehe, he didn’t even notice.

Matt: Oh, it is stuck in midair. I get now, we are in time warp.

Hiro: Not for much longer. *Makes constipated face.*

Hiro: I meant fish.

Matt: I could go for fish.

Peter: I’ll go find me a banana….

At the challenge location

JP: Welcome final three to our very last challenge.

Matt, Hiro and Peter: *Walk in. Smile.*

JP: You all look happy.

Hiro: We are just friendly people.

JP: Yeah, right.

Matt: *Squints* He is just in a bad mood, because..

JP: STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!

Peter: *Squints too* Awww

JP: YOU TOO!

Final three:*Giggle*

JP: Hiro, hand back the immunity idol.

Hiro: You forgot magic word.

JP: Huh?

Matt: I think he means ‘please’.

JP: *Rolls eyes* Please?

Hiro: *Hands idol back*

JP: Lets get to the challenge. This last challenge is a simple endurance test. You will get to hold this wooden tray. It has a hole in the middle. There will be one marble on that tray. If you drop your marble, you’re out. Last one to have his marble, wins immunity and a spot on the final two.

Matt: That’s it? We have to balance a marble?

JP: Yep, that’s it.

Hiro: Don’t lose your marbles, big guy. *Grins*

Peter: Sad thing is, there is only one left. *Grins too*

Matt: Like you have any more.

Hiro: How do you spell ‘marble’? *Snickers*

JP: Shut up and get in position. Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And all three have their trays with the marbles and hold perfectly still. Peter seems to look at it so that it stays in one place. Matt seems to talk to it. Hiro is just looking straight at me. Why is he doing that?

About half an hour later…

JP: You guys don’t seem to get tired, do you?

Final three: *Silence*

JP: Alright, I will not say anything anymore. For now.

About one hour after that….

JP: Ah, it is nice to sit in the shade with some ice cold lemonade, while you guys stand in the sun with your trays.

Final three: *Still silence*

Exactly 17 minutes after that…

Peter: You dropped your marble.

Hiro: No, I did not.

Peter: Yes, you did. I saw you picking it up and putting it back.

Hiro: I did not drop it. It is right here.

Peter: Back there again, yeah.

Hiro: I did not drop it.

Peter: Yeah you did.

Hiro: Prove it!

Peter: I can’t.

Hiro: Then leave me alone.

Peter: You still dropped it.

Hiro: Did not.

Peter: Did too.

Hiro: Did not!

Peter: Did too!

Hiro: Did not!!! *Stamps his foot and thereby drops his marble*

Peter: You just did it again.

Hiro: Shit!

JP: Hiro, you are out of the challenge. Come get yourself some lemonade.

About half an hour after that…

Matt: *Squints at Peter*

Peter: Ouch man! Feedback!

Matt: Yeah. I get it too. *Squints again, harder*

Peter: Man, stop it! What are you doing?

Matt: Trying to break your concentration. *Grins*

Peter: *Squints at Matt*

Matt: Ayayayay. Is that the best you can come up with?

Peter: Let’s just both leave it be.

Matt: Nope *Squints again*

Peter: No Matt, not that. Please not that!!!!

JP: Matt, what are you doing?

Matt: Just showing him some selected memories, nothing evil.

Peter: That is evil!!

Matt: I thought you enjoyed it? *Squints some more*

Peter: Arrrgghh *Drops his marble*

JP: And with that, Matt wins the last immunity challenge and has a spot on the final two.

Matt: Yes!!!

JP: *Hands Matt the immunity idol*

JP: Now Matt, who will be voted off?

Matt: What? Now already?

JP: Yeah, no more waiting, just tell us who you vote off. As you know Peter can’t vote for himself and Hiro can’t vote for himself, so they cancel each other out. Your vote is the only one that counts. So who will leave the tribe now?

Matt: *Spells* H, I, R, O.

Hiro: Blasted, I should not have made fun of him earlier.

JP: Hiro, Matt has spoken, it is time for you to go. As for you two, head on back to camp, please?

Back at camp:

Matt: *Squints*

Peter: Ouch, *squints back*

Matt: Ay, *squints some more*

Peter: *Squints back, looking mad.*

Matt: Yeah, you’re right, the feedback is a bitch, we might as well talk.

Peter: Or we don’t.

Matt: What?

Peter: Did you have to show me the stuff I did with Caitlin? *Makes disgusted face*

Matt: Yeah well, you pulled Janice.

Peter: Yeah, and you did not even wince.

Matt: That took a lot.

Peter: I should have pulled West. That would have tipped the tray…

Matt: Beg your pardon?

Peter: Forget it.

Matt: You are not the Haitian, you know. *Grins*

Peter: Yeah, that power still eludes me.

Matt: So, should we celebrate being the final two?

Peter: We might as well. I feel a bit sorry for Hiro though. He played such a great game.

Matt: Yeah, he did. They all did.

Peter: Hehe, some more so than others.

Matt: Let me get the wine out, ok?

Peter: Remember, I don’t get drunk. *Grins*

Matt: Yeah well, we could still drink it. *Shakes head and grins too.*

The final morning at camp

Matt: *Wakes up, he is alone at camp.* Wow, this is so cool. It is absolutely quiet.*Stretches* Ahhhhhhh

Peter: *Approaches from the beach.* You are a funny guy. When people are around, you don’t speak out loud, but when you are alone you do.

Matt: Whatever. *Grimaces*, I think I have a bit of a hangover.

Peter: You drank about half a bottle of wine last night and showed me that you can hula hoop.

Matt: I did not. Wait, yes, I did. But I don’t have static or anything, I will be fine. Where were you anyway?

Peter: I took a long swim. Clears the head.

Matt: Sounds good.

JP: Good morning guys!

Peter: Hi Jeff.

Matt: Hey Jeff, what are you doing here?

JP: I bring you your assignment for today.

Peter: Hehe, homework.

Matt: Aww, I wanted to go swimming.

JP: Well, you need to dismantle the camp, take your belongings and walk on a marked path toward the tribal council area.

Peter: You know, I could just teleport us there.

JP: The way is the goal.

Matt: Huh?

JP: Along the way are the torches of all your fellow players. You will need to collect them and bring them with you to tribal.

Matt: That is 14 torches! I am not lugging them around with me.

JP: Maybe you could ask Peter here for help. He has super strength.

Peter: Among other things…

JP: *Sings* Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase…STOP IT!

Peter: Wasn’t me.

Matt: Hey, I didn’t do anything.

JP: *Sighs* One more day. I can do this one more day.

Matt: So what do we do with the torches once we arrive at tribal?

JP: Burn them. And then you will sit before the Jury and answer their questions.

Peter: Ok.

Matt: Yes, sir!

JP: Alright, dismantle or demolish the camp and get out of here. *Leaves*

Peter: Matt, just go swimming. It takes me about two minutes to finish here.

Matt: Cool!

Much later that day…

Matt: That was the most compact smoldering heap I have ever seen!

Peter: It was fun. *Grins*

Matt: What I did not understand were the letters in it.

Peter: I just wanted to pay tribute to someone.

Matt: Someone without a torch?

Peter: Definitely!

Matt: Ah, look, there is the first marker.

Peter: Dude, this is the way we always walked.

Matt: Yeah, sure, alright I have no sense of orientation, so sue me!

Peter: There is the first torch.

Matt: Yeah, Sandra. I did not see much of her. But Mo told me that she pretty much slapped everybody.

Peter: That must run in the family…

Matt: Yeah, I see your point.

They walk…

Peter: Next one. Adam. He was so full of himself.

Matt: Yeah, but funny!

Peter: I though his jokes were getting kinda old.

Matt: Huh?

They walk…

Matt: Bob. Creepy. *Shudders*

Peter: Agreed.

They walk…

Peter: Ando. The great Ando.

Matt: I think he was the sanest of us all.

Peter: He will probably never forget the food challenge party in his life. *Grins*

They walk…

Matt: Aww, Momo. My sweet Momo.

Peter: I think you two should make it official sometime soon. You’ve been broadcasting your dreams all over the place.

Matt: *Shrugs*

They walk…

Peter: Claire. My niece Claire. Why am I related to everybody?

Matt: So you do like her?

Peter: Not like that. And she is too crazy, pompoms and all.

Matt: She sure likes you a lot.

Peter: Must be genetic.

They walk…

Matt: My little donut!

Peter: You sure liked his torch.

Matt: Actually his torch really did not interest me that much.

Peter: Oh, ok.

They walk…

Peter: The Haitian. He is one cool dude.

Matt: I still don’t know why he agreed to be in this game.

Peter: I guess Noah wanted him along.

They walk…

Matt: Elle.

Peter: Yay, sparkplug!

Matt: I liked it when she combed her hair.*Grins*

They walk…

Peter: *Sniffs* Hi big bro.

Matt: You’ll see him pretty soon.

Peter: Yeah. *Blinks*

They walk…

Matt: Sylar….

Peter: Wicked guy!

Matt: I wonder if he will ever learn to swim.

Peter: *Chuckles*

They walk…

Peter: Noah. He was so much fun!

Matt: Yeah, especially when dancing, or singing.

Peter: He should be in musicals.

Matt and Peter: *Grin a lot*

They walk…

Matt: Nikki. She was one hot competitor.

Peter: I wonder if she will ever fully own up to that night.

Matt: Dude, what did happen after I passed out?

Peter: *Winks*

They walk…

Peter: Ah, Hiro.

Matt: I never thought he would be so tough.

Peter: He is one of the smartest guys I ever met.

Matt: Yeah, who else would say that a pyramid is a three dimensional triangle?

Peter: I bet he could have spelled that too. *Grins*

Matt: *Shakes head and grins * You guys can not let that go, can you?

Peter: Nope.

They arrive at the tribal council area. It is getting dark.

JP: Welcome Matt and Peter to your last tribal council. But first we will put all the torches you brought into the fire.

Peter: *Drops the torches onto the ground.*

Matt: *Jumps aside*

JP: Matt, you seriously did not carry even one of them?

Matt: Nope.

JP:: Interesting…

Matt and Peter throw the torches unceremoniously into the fire. The torches catch and burn.

JP: You guys are not very emotional about the end of this game. Or are you?

Peter: Don’t call me emo!

Matt: Hehe

JP: Alright, let’s welcome your Jury. Come in Haitian, Elle, Nathan, Sylar, Noah, Nikki and Hiro.

They all walk in.

JP: Tonights vote will be different than all the votes before. Tonight people will write down the name of the guy who will win the million dollars and who will be the sole survivor. Tonight you actually want to see your name on that parchment.

Sylar: He still thinks we are all stupid.

Noah: I don’t think so.

Hiro: Why not?

Noah: Well in his f…Ahem, just a hunch.

JP:But first you Peter and Matt can address the Jury and tell them why you should be the one to win. Matt, you go first.

Matt: Well. First of all, I had fun! I really bonded with some of you.

Sylar: *Snickers* donut.

Matt: And it would really mean a lot to me to win this. I have never won anything. I always had to struggle to get the things in life that I wanted. I would love to win for once.
Also I could use the money. Get a bigger place to live. Get a good education for Molly. And maybe go back to college myself. ..

Elle: Poor, poor Matty. *Rolls eyes*

JP: Could you guys refrain from talking in between? You will get your chance in a minute.

Matt: Thanks, but I think I was already finished.

JP: Alright, moving on to Peter

Peter: Well, I really don’t have much I can tell you. You all know me by now and have probably made up your mind. I participated in this game and played it the best I could, because I thought it was the right thing to do. I admire you all for many different reasons and I think you will make the right decision, may it be for me or for Matt. Thank you for letting me share this experience with you.

Nathan: Awwww

JP: Alright, now is the time for the Jury to ask questions and give comments. Haitian, you’re up.

Haitian: Matt, Peter. First let me thank you two. You two made my life more bearable on this island.

Elle: Get over yourself you big wuss!

Noah: I still have my gun, girl!

Haitian: Matt, you already said what you want to do with the money. So Peter what are your plans with it?

Peter: Well, it is just an idea so far. But I thought I build a place for us. Not like the company. A place to relax and learn and exchange ideas. Like, like a school or something.

Sylar: Cool!

Nikki: Nice!

Hiro: That sounds somehow familiar….

JP: Elle, you’re next.

Elle: *Zaps Peter and Matt* Just for old times sake.

Peter and Matt: *Curse*

Elle: One question, would you make out with me for the vote?

Matt: Nope

Peter: No way.

Elle: That’s all I wanted to know.

JP: Nathan, your turn.

Nathan: I don’t have a question. Vote Petrelli! *Winks*

JP: Thanks. Alright, Sylar, what have you to say?

Sylar: Can I just not vote for anybody?

JP: Nope. You will have to vote for one of them.

Syalar: I don’t want to.

JP: Do you have a direct question?

Sylar: Nope.

JP: Moving on then. Noah how is it with you?

Noah: Yeah well. You guys jerked me around a lot in this game. I can deal with that. I can respect that. But don’t you dare do that ever again!

Matt: Sure

Peter: Yeah Noah, no problem.

Noah: One question, did either of you screw with my daughter?

Peter: Are you crazy? No!!!

Matt: Seriously man, no.

Noah: Good.

JP: Nikki, how about you?

Nikki: *Gets up and hugs Matt and Peter*

JP: What was that all about?

Nikki: I like those guys.

JP: What is your question?

Nikki: Will you guys come help me when I am in a tight spot again?

Peter: Absolutely!

Matt: Right away!

JP: Interesting… Now Hiro, it is your turn.

Hiro: Congratulations for you two. You reached the final two.

Peter: Thanks!

Matt: Yeah, thank you.

Hiro: How honest were you in this game to get here?

JP: That is a question I like.

Hiro: Peter? You want to talk about that?

Peter: I don’t want to, but I will if you ask me to.

Hiro: Why don’t you tell everyone how and when you found that honey?

Peter: Alright. When Sylar and I had that fight.

Sylar: What???

Peter: Hiro came and stopped time. But that didn’t affect me. So we talked a bit before we decided to put things back to normal and give you a bit of an illusion.

Noah: Eff me!

Nikki: Slow down. How did the honey get in there?

Sylar: Yeah, this needs some more explaining!

Peter: Yeah well… I thought I could use the stopped time to my advantage at first, but then I did not, thanks again Hiro.

Hiro: What did you want to do?

Peter: Launch Sylar from a tree.

Sylar: You are going down!!!

Peter: Hey, I did not really do it, now, did I? If you had had that opportunity, I would be a corpse right now without a brain.

Sylar: Yeah, well, yeah…

Nathan: You tell him, Pete!

Hiro: Matt, how about you? What did you lie about?

Matt: Nothing big, really…

Peter: I know and I will tell, my friend.

Matt: Alright, I manipulated some votes a little.

Nathan: You did not!!!

Noah: But you told me you didn’t!

Matt: Not with you. But in the beginning I kinda guided some people along a bit.

Elle: That is big!

Matt: I just used my powers a little to my advantage. Everyone else did too.

JP: Yes, you all have.

Noah: No fair.

JP: Hiro, are you satisfied with your answers?

Hiro: Yes

JP: Any final words from you? Matt, Peter?

Matt: Nope.

Peter: No.

JP: Alright then. It is time for you to vote. Sylar, you are up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: I will go get the votes. *He gets votes and leaves*

About 3 months later

JP: *runs into a studio with the urn with the votes*
(You can clearly see that this is a studio set with audience and that the contestants are all cleaned up and well groomed)

JP: Alright, let me read the votes.

Matt: Good luck Pete!

Peter: Yeah, good luck to you too.

Narrator: Awww, what a sweet moment.

HFM: What are you doing here? You belong into Twices stories.

Narrator: He kicked me out the other day.

HFM: You can’t be in here, look how everyone is looking up to see you?

Narrator: So what?

HFM: I tell you what, this is survivor and not pigs in space, scoot!

JP: First vote is Matt

JP: Second vote is Peter

(Voice from the audience with an Indian accent: And I tell you they sort them. Another voice, this one of a child: Yes, we know dad)

JP: Third vote is Matt

JP: Fourth vote is Peter

JP: Fifth vote is Matt

JP: Sixth vote is Peter

A voice that sounds very much like Nathan: The excitement is killing me!

A voice that sounds very much like Angela: Could you stop dying all the time already?!

JP: Last vote is: PETER!!!!

A voice that sounds very much like Sylar: Ouch!

JP: Peter won Survivor heroes edition! Congratulations!!!!

Peter: *jumps up and hugs and kisses his family, then high fives Claire, then goes and gives Matt a big bear hug.*

Commercial break:
For when you are stranded on an island, moist wipes from Mylar are the best!
Use them in every situation. Flexibility is guaranteed!

JP: And we are back with the reunion. Peter, how does it feel to win Survivor?

Peter: Man, it feels so cool. That is unicornly awesome, I love it!

JP: Matt, How are you feeling?

Matt: I am one jealous bitch right now. Just kidding Jeff! *Grins* Oh and the lip balm you are looking for is in the green shirt front pocket.

JP: You freak me out man.

Matt: I know. *Grins some more*

JP: Please welcome back now our other contestants from survivor:

Sandra, Adam, Bob, Ando, Mohinder, Claire, West, the Haitian, Elle, Nathan, Sylar, Noah, Nikki and Hiro. (they are sitting neatly in raised rows. Sandra is holding Mr. Muggles)

Applause!!!!!!!

JP: We would also like to welcome their families and friends. (Camera pans over Angela, Molly, Monika, Micah, Zach…)

Applause!!!

JP: And because we could have never contained the Heroes without their help, we would like to welcome the inhabitants of the hidden island. (Camera pans over Jenna, Smms, UJ, Nicky, Twice, HL, Cat, CMN, BD and HFM)

Lots of applause! Nathan, Hiro and Peter are giving a standing ovation. Nikki is blowing kisses.

JP: Now, lets start of this reunion. Peter, would you sit down?

Peter: I can’t.

JP: Why not?

Peter: Too excited. *He flies around the room and woohoos*

JP: Sandra, how are you doing?

Sandra: What?

JP: Yeah, the flying Petrelli is distracting, just try your best.

Sandra: I was talking with Mr. Muggles!

JP: So that is that famous pug?

Mr. Muggles: Grrrrrrrrr!

Peter: *Sits down.* Mrs Bennet, that is a beautiful Pomeranian!

Sandra: Oh thank you Peter. You would have gotten my vote too!

JP: Moving on. Hi Adam.

Adam: Good afternoon.

JP: You were quite sure that you would win survivor and you got voted off as soon as your tribe got the chance.

Adam: Obviously they considered me the biggest threat.

JP: I don’t see why though. I mean, other than dying over and over in spectacular ways, what can you do?

Adam: You don’t need a host of spectacular powers to be spectacularly evil. *Grins*

JP: That brings us to Bob.

Bob: Hello Mr. Probst.

Mr. Muggles: Arf, arf, arf, *charges*

Bob: Get that thing off me!

Sandra: Why? He is doing the world some good.

Sylar: *Tk’s Mr. Muggles into his hand* Shhhh, you don’t want to be sliced, now would you?

MR. Muggles: *is quiet*

JP: Ahem, well Bob, how was it to be gone from the tribe?

Bob: I actually embraced it. You know, not like other people here, I have work to do. Important work. People need me.

Peter: Not much longer, you are going down.

Bob: You can win as many survivors as you want Peter, you are still delusional.

Nathan: Shut up, or you will regret it!

Angela: Please, calm down, everyone.

JP: Mrs. Petrelli, could you remember that you are not a contestant?

Adam: This is like a kindergarten here. Poise, people, poise!

(Hiro: Another P word!)

JP: I know it is. But you were part of it. Why are you acting so reserved all of a sudden?

Adam: Because I’m an Englishman in New York.

Nathan: *winks at the hidden island group*

CMN: *blows kisses with both hands*

Nathan: *looks a bit shocked*

JP: So Ando, how are you doing?

Ando : I am great! I will marry Kimiko!

Hiro: WHAT?

Ando: I will explain later.

Hiro: You better!

JP: How about you Mohinder? Do you have good news too?

Mohinder: As a matter of fact, I do. *He gets up, goes on stage to Matt, gets on one knee, pulls out a huge ring.* Matt, will you marry me?

Matt: Wow! Oh, wow, I think I just won.

Mohinder: Is that a yes?

Matt: *Squints at Mo*

Mohinder: I can deal with that.

Matt: Then it is a yes. *They kiss*

Applause and one howl from the hidden island seating area.

JP: That was not what I thought would happen today.

Sylar: No offense, but since when can you predict what would happen anyway?

Bob: Is he a precog?

Noah: Nope, he is not.

Matt: *Squints at the island seating area*

BD: Whoohoo!

JP: How would you know?

Noah: Believe me, we know.

JP: Noah, I think I need to talk to your daughter now, could you keep quiet until it is your turn?

Noah: Hey, you asked me something.

JP: Claire, how are you feeling?

Claire: I want a hug.

JP: Huh?

Claire: I did not get a hug from Peter when he won.

Sandra: Oh, for crying out loud, get over it already!

Claire: Mom, you don’t understand!

JP: Well I do and I am moving on now.

Peter: I have my reasons ….

JP: I was already moved on.

Claire: It is still unfair. There is no reason …

Nathan: Yes, there is, Claire.

All the islanders: WTF?!?!? Followed by *roaring laughter*

JP: West, how has life been treating you?

West: I found a new girl to st…….appreciate. She is really cool.

Elle: Awww, who will let me zap them then?

UJ: *Gets up in his seat* ME, ME, PICK ME,ME, ELLE, ELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *He is removed by security*

West: I have had enough of getting my watch burned.

JP: Watch?

Peter: Get with the program, man.

JP: Guess what, we will take a break now.

Commercial:Coconut swirl lemonade. To make you happy and regular. No more Unopu and Pesored with coconut swirl lemonade.

JP: And we are back with the survivor heroes reunion…circus.

Nathan, Peter, Hiro and Nikki: *Return from the hidden island section of the studio to their seats on stage*

JP: Haitian, many people have wondered why you wanted to be a contestant.

Haitian: I have wondered that myself.

JP: And?

Haitian: I am not a big talker. Move on.

JP: You don’t say…

Sandra: Can I have Mr. Muggles back now, please?

Sylar: How about we trade? You get the dog, I get Claire.

Sandra: Ah…ah…

Noah: I still have my gun!

Sylar: Okay, okay.*Hands back Mr. Muggles*

JP: Elle. How are you?

Elle: Not bad. I need a new boy toy.

JP: Why don’t you try to start a serious relationship rather than zap everyone around?

Elle: Now, where is the fun in that?

JP: I, well, this is not my place…

Matt: Who would have thought that he cared?

Mo: Shut up and kiss me!

Matt: *Does just that*

West: Thank you Mo! No more merges!

JP: I will get though this, I will, I will, I will!

Molly: You know, we learned in school about blood pressure, and maybe you should be concerned about it Mr. Probst?

JP: MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS FINE!!!!

Hiro:Tai chi relaxes.

JP: *Is visibly calming himself down and admirably succeeding* Well Nathan, you seem to have a large fan base.

The NateTiggers and CMN: *Scream and holler*

Nathan: *Winks* Yeah, I do.

JP: Were you shocked when you got voted off?

Nathan: Yes, I was, but I can also understand why.

JP: Why?

Nathan: Because they thought they needed to break the brothers apart. Separate me from Peter, so that we could not win. But it didn’t work. We won, regardless.

JP: We?

Nathan: Peter won. We share our victories and defeats. You can’t keep the Petrellis apart.

JP: So you are happy for your little bro?

Nathan: Happy and proud.

Sylar: Could you stop that sappy pony?

JP: Pony?

Sylar: Yes, pony! Pony, pony, pony, pony!

(Hiro: Another P word)

Sylar: Not really.

JP: While you are already talking, Sylar, how are you doing?

Sylar: Oh man, I am busy. I have learned so many things lately, I feel like I am in outer space!

JP: That is interesting…

Sylar: Yeah, and you see, I think I can manipulate my facial features too, and then there is all this stuff that I could do with my hands now and..

JP: How nice. Moving on to Noah, how is life at the Bennet residence?

Noah: The three of us are fine.

JP: Don’t you mean the four of you?

Noah: Well if you insist of personifying that dog too, the four of us.

JP: No, I was talking about Lyle.

Noah: Oh, him. He moved in with the neighbors. Some religious dude took him in because he thought I was not a model father.

JP: That sounds somehow familiar…

Peter: This is taking forever! I want to go to the island!

JP: You don’t need to go to the island anymore.

Peter: You obviously never went.

JP: Nikki, do you want to go back there too?

Nikki: You bet!

JP: How about you, Hiro?

Hiro: I would teleport right now, but I still need to talk with Ando about Kimiko.

JP: Alright, that brings us almost to the end of our reunion show. But we still have one more surprise for all of you.

A curtain is lifted and in the middle of another stage stands the karaoke machine.

Survivors: Sweet! Yeah! Woohoo!

Applause!

Adam: I know just the song! *He grabs the mic and sings:*

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you’re chewing life’s gristle,
Don’t grumble,
Give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best.
And…

Always look on the bright side of life.
Adam: *whistles*
Always look on the light side of life.
Adam and Peter: *whistle together*

Noah: *takes over*
If life seems jolly rotten,
There’s something you’ve forgotten,
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

Peter:
When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That’s the thing.
And…

All the Heroes: *join in*

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]

Nathan:
For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.

Sylar:
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It’s your last chance, anyhow.
So,…

Adam and Sylar together:
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]

Bob and Elle:
Life’s a piece of pony,
When you look at it.
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true.

Nikki and Hiro:
You’ll see it’s all a show.
Keep ’em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And…

All the heroes:

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Camera fades out, you can see the Heroes leave with their respective islanders.

The End

Disclaimer:

I do not own either Survivor or Heroes. Survivor belongs to Mark Burnett and Heroes to Tim Kring. All song lyrics belong to the respective musicians. I also would like to say that in this survivor, the character of Jeff Probst is absolutely fictional. (I actually admire the real JP for being able to do this show season, after season, after season).

Survivor: Heroes edition

Jeff Probst: Welcome to our 16th installment of survivor. This year we are on the beautiful island of, where ever the heck we are and have 16 Heroes compete against each other.
They have been brought here and will compete like regular contestants. (Snickering in background).

JP: Who will outwit, outplay and outlast all the others?

Noah: Outwit? Good luck Mo!

JP: 39 days, 16 heroes, one survivor!
Let’s begin!

Adam: That one survivor is obviously me.

All: *groan*

Adam: Come on? 400 years old. Can’t die. No debate here.

Claire: Like you are the only one…

JP: This is not how we play this game.

Ando: What about the million bucks? Can we win the million bucks?

Haitian: If you don’t shut up I will make you forget about them.

JP: First things first, you will leave all your possessions here and then we will divide you into two tribes. Please line up and I will sort you.

Hiro and Ando: * are speaking Japanese*

JP: Please refrain from doing that. We have no money for a translator.

Hiro and Ando: *roll eyes*

JP: Members of the Unopu tribe are: Adam, Peter, Noah, Elle, Matt, West, Ando and the Haitian.

JP: *throws buffs*

JP: Here are your buffs

Elle: Oh turquoise, how stylish.

JP: Members of the Pesored tribe are: Hiro, Nathan, Claire, Sylar, Niki, Bob, Mohinder and Sandra.

JP: *throws buffs*

JP: Here are your buffs.

JP: Your first challenge as a tribe is to find your campsite and build your camp. You need to find the waterhole and you need to make fire. In this game, fire means life.

Peter, Elle and Sylar: *grin *

JP: Head out to your campsites. Survivors ready?! Go!

JP: Oh, Noah, wait a moment. When I said leave all your possessions, that included your gun.

Noah: #^$^%^&%^*^*^*&^%^%%#$!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandra: These buffs remind me of that cute Bandana I just bought for Mr. Muggles.

Claire: Mom, not now.

Sandra: Lyle will never treat Mr. Muggles the way he should be treated. MR. MUGGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mohinder: Mrs. Bennet, everything will be fine.

Sylar: Oh please!
At camp Unopu:

Adam: Hey Flyboy! Come over here and get some coconuts from that palm tree!

West: My name is West.

Adam: Yeah, whatever. Get moving!

West: Why don’t you ask Peter? He can fly too.

Adam: Peter doesn’t listen to me no more. *pouts*

Matt: *stares at West and squints*

West: *flies up the palm*

Ando: How did he do that?

Elle: Try to catch up sometime.

Noah: Let’s clear the parameter and set up defenses!

Haitian: I will neutralize the rodent threat.

Peter: Dudes, we need to build a hut.

Elle: *zaps* Here is our fire.

Haitian: I have located the water supply.

Peter: *starts uprooting trees, stacking them up and building a nice hut.*

Adam: *lies in the sun*

West: *brings coconuts and sits down*

Noah: Look, there is an opossum! We can eat that!

Elle: *shriek*

Haitian: For that we need to catch it first.

Noah: Man, I miss my gun!

Matt: *stares at West and squints*

West: I am a donut, I am a donut, I am a donut…..

Meanwhile at camp Pesored:

Hiro: *vanishes*

Nikki: What the?

Claire: That is so cool!

Sylar: I know! I really, really want that!

Bob: Don’t you dare!

Hiro: *reappears*

Hiro: What? Can’t I even take a crap in private?

Sylar: *radiates*

Mohinder: Sylar, what are you doing?

Sylar: Making fire, you doofus.

Mohinder: I don’t think it is ethical to use those powers to gain an unfair advan…

Sandra: *slam!*

Sandra: I am cold and I am tired and I deserve fire now!

Nathan: Looks like you learned from your husband.

Claire: How do you know..?

Nathan: I talk with my brother Claire. I don’t just use him as a coat hanger like you  use yours.

Mohinder: I miss Matt.

Bob: People, how about we build a hut?

Sylar: * TK’s a tree over*

Hiro: Watch where you point that tree!

Nikki: *Starts uprooting trees, stacking them up and building a nice hut.*

Sylar: *lies in the sun*

Mohinder: I will go looking for that water hole.

Bob: I better go with him.

Hiro: Flyingman! You and me will make a good team!

Nathan: If he calls me that again, I’ll deck him.

Nikki and Sylar: *Make out*

Claire: Now that is totally ewwwww!

The next day at the challenge location:

JP: It is now time for our first challenge. Let’s welcome back our two tribes. Tribe Unopu!

Tribe Unopu wanders in and stands on their turquoise mat.

JP: And tribe Pesored!

Tribe Pesored wanders in and stands on their yellow mat.

JP: So, how are you guys doing? Have you got your fire going?

Both tribes: Yeah! Sure! How stupid do you think we are?

JP: Ahem….

JP: Let’s get to today’s challenge. Do you wanna know what you are playing for?

Noah: No!

JP: What?

Noah: Come on, as if you would not tell us anyway.

JP: *unveils immunity idol*

JP: This is your first immunity challenge. For the winning tribe it means you are save for another 3 days. For the losing tribe it will tribal council and someone will get send home tonight!

Mohinder: My nose itches.

JP: We prepared an obstacle course  for you. It includes ropes, ladders, balance beams, and more ropes, organized in a a row that you need to cross without ever touching the ground and making sure you do it in an orderly fashion. The first tribe to get all members across will win immunity. So it is of utmost importance to get across as a tribe. You need to work together here…

Adam: He sure talks a lot…

JP: Immunity is at stake! Survivors ready! Go!

Pesored tribe: *huddles*

Hiro: * teleports Bob across*

Peter: That is not a bad idea. *grabs Noah and teleports across*

JP: That…is……………unusual.

West: *flies across*

Nathan: Show off. *flies across too*

JP: So is this…..

Hiro: *gets confused and teleports back *

JP: Unopu won the immunity challenge!!!!!!!!

Sylar: * holds his ears* Sometimes super hearing sucks.

JP: Unopu! Here is your immunity idol.

Elle: This is one of the ugliest things I have ever seen!

JP: Pesored, I have nothing for you. You may head back to camp now. See you at tribal council tonight.

Nikki: *rips off a balance beam on the way out*

Sylar: That’s my girl!

Later that evening at the tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council!

Tribe Pesored: *walks in*

JP: First things first. Grab a torch and light it. In this game fire means life. Once your torch is gone, so are you.

Sylar: Hey Claire, wanna grab my torch?

Sandra: *slaps Sylar*

Sylar: What’s with the slapping, you old bitch?

Bob: Let’s all calm down!!!

Hiro: *bows to JP*

Nathan: Dude, that is not necessary.

Hiro: Dude, it’s my culture. Don’t knock it.

Nathan: OK, cool.
JP: So, how are things at tribe Pesored?

Sylar: Oh, just peachy, thanks for asking. *rolls eyes*

JP: Hiro, your confusion today caused your tribe to lose in the immunity challenge. What do you think your chances are to survive this tribal council?

Hiro: *turns and looks at Sylar*

Hiro: Oh, ok, now I understand. Jeffe, I accept the blame for our loss and I am ready to face the consequences. It was my fault.

Nikki: That is just not fair. Without Hiro, we would not haven been even close to winning this, with all those loser people in our tribe.

Bob: Nice to know what you think of us.

Jeff: Oh ha!

Nathan: *grins manically* They are just kidding!!!!!!

Jeff: So, Bob, have there been any divisions between the power people and the normal people in your tribe?

Bob: Well, it is only natural to gouge your competitors and to…*smiles*

JP: To what?

Bob: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?

Claire: Sylar, stop touching me!!!

Sylar: Ooops! *grins*

Nathan: Sylar, wanna see the stars from up close?

Nikki: I am hotter than her!

Mohinder: This is what I have to put up with!

Everybody else: *hysterical laughter*

JP: It is now time for you to vote.

JP: Nikki, you’re up.

Voting ensues. Flames, pens, frogs, snakes, parchment folding, getting up and sitting down shots.

JP: Once I go tally the votes, the decision is final and the tribe member will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Nikki.

JP: Second vote: Sandra.

JP: Third vote: Nikki. Two votes Nikki, one vote Sandra.

Mohinder: Funny how they are so evenly distributed.

JP: Fourth vote: Sandra. Two votes Nikki, two votes Sandra.

Mohinder: See what I mean?

Nathan: Mo, just shut up!

JP: Fifths vote: Nikki. That makes…

Sylar: We can count!!!

JP: Ok, ok. Sixth vote: Sandra.

JP: Seventh vote: Sandra

JP: Eights vote: Sandra.

JP: Sandra, please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken. It is time for you to go.

Sandra: Claire, love you! Mr. Muggles, I am coming!!!!!!!!!!

JP: The rest of you, head on back to camp now.

Nikki: Here we go again with stating the obvious….

Voting slip shots for the Sandra vote:

Nikki: (Parchment says Sandra) You slapped my boy toy. See ya!

Bob: (Parchment says Nikki) You are too volatile for my taste..

Hiro: (Parchment says Sandra) What? Oh Hi. *waves at camera*

Nathan: (Parchment says Nikki) You are one hell of a competitor. I don’t want to end up against you..

Claire: (Parchment says Sandra) Sorry mom. I just know you are better off with Mr. Muggles.

Sylar: (Parchment says Sandra) One word: Boring!

Sandra: (Parchment says Nikki): I don’t like hoes!

Mohinder: (Parchment says Sandra) You slammed me, you bitch!

Day 5 at camp Unopu

Elle: I’m bored.

West: Wanna make out?

Elle: In your dreams, freak.

Haitian: Who are you calling a freak?

Adam: Come on, she is right. We are all freaks.

Ando: Huh?

Adam: Well some more than others.

Elle: I would make out with Peter again.

Peter: Yeah, like that would be the highlight of my day! *shudders*

Adam: So donut lover, do you ever talk?

Matt: Only with people who are worth talking to.

Noah: Let’s talk strategy people. The next challenge is coming up soon and…

Adam: How do you know the next one is coming up?

Noah: It’s called thinking, go with it.

Haitian: Besides, we have treemail.

Peter: *reads it*

Peter: Those rhymes in there are dreadful.

Noah: Are you a literature critic now?

Peter: Alright, alright! *reads aloud*

Peter: Under trees and over rocks,
You will find your way to a sacred place.
Use your talents and bring socks.
To make sure you’re sound and safe.

Matt: That really was dreadful.

Ando: Why socks?

Peter: Ando, I think you should be a little more worried about the talent part.

West: Matt, I was wondering, you with your mind stuff, could you make Elle make out with me?

Matt: I could, but I won’t.

West: Why not?

Matt: Because you’re my donut and I am your lover. *winks*

Peter: I think I need to explore that gift of yours a little more Matt.

Peter: *stares and squints*

Noah: I feel like tap dancing! *tap dances*

Noah: HELP!

Haitian: Nope man, that is just too funny to stop!

Meanwhile at Pesored

Sylar: So Bob, you wanted to get rid of my new girlfriend?

Bob: What? No! I would never!

Nikki: It’s ok. I can forgive him for being an ass once. But if he does it again, I will rip him a new one. *smiles sweetly*

Nathan: *flies in from above and skids to a halt*

Nathan: Treemail!

Claire: *grabs the paper and reads it*

Claire: What does it mean?

Hiro: You can’t read? Oh I am very sorry. Very sorry.

Claire: I CAN read!

Nathan: Let’s hope so. You don’t come from stupid people.

Bob: *Reads the paper aloud* Under trees and over rocks,
You will find your way to a sacred place.
Use your talents and bring socks.
To make sure you’re sound and safe.

Sylar: Obviously we are having another challenge. Can’t wait to beat the other tribe.

Nathan: Then it would be good if we had a strategy this time.

Bob: I agree.

Mohinder: Me too!

Everyone else: *Stares at Mo*

Sylar: Does anybody here have a watch?

Hiro: No, that would have been a personal possession.

Sylar: Strange, I wonder what that mysterious ticking noise is.

Bob: Let me assure you, it is not a pipe bomb.

Claire: I don’t have any socks.

Everyone else: *groans*

At the challenge location

JP: Welcome to our second challenge.

Let’s welcome back tribe Unopu.

Tribe Unopu: *Walks in and stands on mat*

JP: Now lets welcome back tribe Pesored. Sandra was the first person voted off the island.

Noah (thinking): Yes!!!!!!!

Matt (thinking): What?

Noah (thinking): Can you imagine what a bitch it would have been if I had to vote her off later?

JP: Today’s challenge is a reward and immunity challenge.

Peter: Hehe, they are already sick of us. They are speeding things up.

Sylar: Honey pie, would you let the man talk?

Peter: *raises eyebrow*
JP: First things first. Tribe Unopu, please hand back the immunity idol.

Peter: Ooops, forgot to bring it.

Peter: *teleports*

Peter: Here you go Jeff!

Nikki and Sylar: *Make out*

Elle: Seriously!

Nikki: Jealous much?

JP: Can you guys stop talking for a second and actually pay attention to me?!!!!!!!!!

Mohinder: Mr. Probst I really don’t think such outbursts are good for your blood pressure.

JP: Huh?

JP: Anyway, Immunity, back up for grabs.

JP: This challenge is another obstacle course. One rope that is cast over this lake with two smaller ropes to hold on. Again, who gets everyone across in the fastest time has won. But we here at survivor have learned from our experiences with you.

Noah: Must have been a steep learning curve….

JP: We will have to have even numbers. So one person from Unopu will have to sit out. This person will be the Haitian. He will make sure you all can’t use your powers.

Everyone: Oh shit!!!!!!

JP: Wanna know what you are playing for?

Noah: Please, let it be my gun!

JP: Blankets and pillows.

Adam: Who needs that stuff?

Elle: You can do a lot of fun stuff under those.

Adam: Poor thing, alone with seven men, and nobody wants to do you.

West: I wanna…
Elle: *zaps West*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And they are off, Adam and Nathan scale over the ropes with no problem whatsoever.
They make record time. Next up are Hiro and Peter. Oh yeah, lots of fast muscle action from Peter. Hiro is a bit more cautious, but he is also really fast.
Next up: Elle and Claire. And they go for it! Wow, that is some fast balancing across the ropes. Oh, Elle slides, but she is not giving up! She makes it! Next up Matt and Bob. And, look at Matt going! That policeman training must have been good for something. But Bob is not bad either. A little wobbly, but he is getting there! Now Nikki and Noah are battling it out. That is one fast lady. Oh no! Noah loses his balance and falls! And he is back up again! But that was valuable time lost! Now Sylar and West are moving across. Sylar can make up time, but West hops across like a carefree Peter Pan. Last are Mohinder and Ando. And Mohinder really gets a move on! Ando is fast, but boy that long legged professor is amazing on the ropes! And with that, Pesored wins the challenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unopu: *groans*

Pesored: *screams and hugs*

JP: Pesored, come on over here and get your immunity idol and your blankets.

JP: Unopu, I have nothing for you. You may head back to camp now. See you at tribal council.

At camp Unopu

Peter: That sucked royally!!!!!

Adam: Yeah! Company man can’t walk the line. W T F???
Noah: Shut up!!

Matt: You are in no position to shut anybody up!!!

Haitian (calmly) : Quiet, all of you.

West: I’m hungry.

Ando: Even I know that your timing sucks.

Noah: I am going for a walk.

Haitian, Elle and West follow Noah.

Adam: So Ando, wanna go fishing with me?

Ando: Oh, ok……

Peter and Matt go rest in the sun.

Peter: You know what they are up to?

Matt: It’s pretty obvious.

Peter: So, what are we gonna do?

Matt: We?

Peter: It would make sense.

Matt: *snores*

Peter: *chews a bit of a straw and basks in the sun*

Adam and Ando return.

Ando: I caught a fish, I caught a fish, I caught a fish!

Adam: Yes, yes, yes, one carp caught another. *rolls eyes*

Ando: Carp?

Adam: Long story….

Noah, the Haitian, Elle and West return too.

Peter: So, how was the strategizing?

Everyone: *Silence*

Peter: Decided to get rid of box of rocks?

Elle: How?

Peter: Yeah I know what you guys call me behind my back.

Noah: So much for that.

Haitian: I didn’t like the idea anyway.

West: But we still are an alliance, aren’t we?

Haitian: *slaps hand to forehead, shakes head*

Later that evening at the tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council!

Tribe Unopu: *walks in*

JP: First things first. Grab a torch and light it. In this game fire means life. Once your torch is gone, so are you.

*Everybody grabs a torch*

Elle: *zaps it on*

JP: Please sit down.

Ando: My torch won’t light.

Adam: Poor little man.

JP: Now that was quite interesting to see you struggle like ordinary people. And you lost.

Peter: Yeah, Noah is so lost without his powers. *rolls eyes*

JP: About that Noah, How do you feel now?

Noah: How do I feel? What kind of stupid question is that? Are you sending me to therapy now?

Adam: He could certainly use it. (in singsong voice) Mr. Probst, my wife loves my dog more than me. *snickers*

Noah: Just you wait!

JP: Calm down please!

Matt: This is quite entertaining.

West: Do we vote now?

JP: We might as well. Haitian, you’re up!

Voting ensues. Flames, pens, frogs, snakes, parchment folding, getting up and sitting down shots.

JP: Once I go tally the votes, the decision is final and the tribe member will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

Elle to West: He will blow your torch.

West: What?

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Noah. One vote Noah

Second vote: Adam

Third vote: Noah. Two votes Noah, one vote Adam.

Fourth vote: The Haitian

Fifths vote: Elle

Sixths vote: Peter

Seventh vote: Adam. Two votes Noah, two votes Adam. One vote for pretty much everybody else.

*reads vote number 8* : The second person voted off survivor Heroes is Adam!

Adam: WHAT?????

JP: Adam, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Adam: I’ll outlive you all!

West: Weren’t we supposed to vote for Peter?

Elle: *zaps*

Voting slip shots for the Adam vote:

Haitian: (Parchment says Elle) I hate you.

Peter: (Parchment says Adam) I trusted you once, won’t happen again.

Elle: (Parchment says Noah) Stings like a bitch doesn’t it?

Matt: (Parchment says Haitian) You creep me out!

Noah: (Parchment says Adam) Longevity is not all that impressive, dude.

West: (Parchment says Peter) I vote with my alliance!

Adam: (Parchment says Noah) I never liked company men.

Ando: (Parchment says Adam) I am NOT a carp!

Back at camp Unopu:

Noah: West, come here for a second.

West: Uh-oh

Noah: *pokes West in the chest* Let… me… explain… this… game… to… you… a… bit… more.

West: Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!

Noah: You MORON!!!!!!!! When will you learn to shut up??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

West: OK! *runs*

Peter: That was fun. Hehe, “I’ll outlive you all”. I kinda doubt that.

Elle: Man, I need some action.

The Haitian: Which man are you addressing?

Elle: Any man. You wanna?

The Haitian: *shudders*

Elle: Fine! * goes outside the camp area*

Ando: I am happy.

Peter: Yeah you are grinning since tribal.

Ando: I am not a carp!

Peter: Nice to know the details, isn’t it?

Matt: I am going to sleep. Where is my little donut?

Noah: I scared him off. He went that way.

The Haitian: So did Elle.

Noah: Looks like little flyboy is getting lucky tonight.

Peter: If you call that lucky.

Everyone: *nods in agreement*

Meanwhile at Pesored

Hiro: I’m bored.

Bob: You could help Mohinder cook.

Hiro: Not my thing. Besides, Claire is ogling him, I would just be in the way.

Claire: I am not, I am just interested in the recipe, yeah that’s it.

Nathan: Claire, it is all a question of taste.

Hiro: Fl, ahem Nathan, do you know how to handle a Katana?

Nathan: Strangely enough, I do.

Hiro: Yippie! Let’s go sword fighting. I’ll get some sticks.

Nathan: Alright.

Hiro and Nathan: *fight, jump, hiya!*

Claire: Wouldn’t that be stick fighting then?

Bob: I hate teenagers. Hate them, hate them, hate them.

Sylar: Hey Nikki, why so glum?

Nikki: Cheat, liar, ass.

Sylar: My, my, just because I contemplated to check out the pom-pom?

Nikki: Leave me alone!

Nikki: *goes and turns a tree into firewood*

Sylar: What a woman!

Bob: Wait till you see the other one coming out.

Sylar: Huh?

Mohinder: Dinner!

The next day at the challenge location
JP: Welcome to our new challenge.

JP: Come in tribe Pesored:

Tribe Pesored: *walks in, stands on yellow mat*

JP: Take a look at the new tribe Unopu. Adam was voted off at the last tribal council.

Sylar: Whoa!

Hiro: YATTA!!!

Bob: Interesting….

Tribe Unopu: *walks in, stands on mat*

JP: West, what happened to you?

West: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Tribe Unopu: *snicker*

JP: You look like you have small burns all over.

Elle: He does. *grins*

Peter: Ask him to sit down.

West: *winces*

JP: I’d rather not. Moving on…

JP: Todays challenge is a reward challenge. Wanna know what you are playing for?

Heroes: *mumble*

JP: The winning tribe can spend time with these people: Come on in!

In walk: Hiro’s sister Kimiko, Angela Petrelli, Lyle, Molly, Micah and two super models.

Angela: Oh Nathan, my son, my firstborn, my greatest achievement!

Nathan: Hi mom.
Peter: Hey mom!

Angela: Hi Pete.

Molly: Daddy!!!!!

Matt and Mo: Molly!!!!!

Micah: Mom, are you you?

Nikki: Oh yes, my superduper kiddo!

Lyle: Hi dad, Claire.

Noah: Hi.

Claire: Whatever.

Kimiko: *bows*

JP: Sylar, West and Haitian, we could not find any family members of yours willing to come here. Therefore we got you some super models.

Sylar: Sweet!

Bob: And what about Elle and me?

JP: You can visit each other.

Bob: No fair!!!

Elle: Yeah, no fair!!!!

JP: Let’s get to the challenge.

JP: For todays challenge you will have to eat the delicacies of this island. Those include fried cockroaches, spiders, larvae and monkey brain.

Sylar: That brain is MINE!

JP: The tribes will go at it one on one, and who has the fastest times, will win.

Peter: Give Sylar the cockroaches, I am sure he will not eat his brothers.

Claire: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
JP: Let’s divide you up into pairs.

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: First up are Nathan and Peter with a nice dish of fried spiders. And they get going, both chewing frantically and wolfing it down.

Angela: Nathan! Nathan! Nathan! Nathan!

JP: And it is a very close race, both finish almost at the same time!

JP: Next are Hiro and the Haitian, they get some juicy maggots. Hiro is clearly fidgeting, but the Haitian just calmly gulps them down. Hiro now getting into it too. But the Haitian has the lead.

JP: Next up Elle and Claire. Fried cockroaches are on the menu for the girls. Both seem reluctant to go at it.

Noah: Claire! Claire! Claire Claire!

Matt: Dude, she is on the opposing team.

Noah: Sorry, got carried away.

JP: And the girls bite into it. Both grinding their teeth through it and Elle finishes first.

West: She always does.

JP: Next up are West and Mo. They get fried locusts.

West: Ahhhh, it is still moving!

JP: Mo is eating and West is trying to kill his fried locusts. Mo the clear winner here.

JP: So far, tribe Pesored is in the lead! Now it is up to Matt and Nikki to battle it out! Larvae is the dish of choice for them. And both are eating. Matt is just a little bit faster than Nikki and making up time for Unopu.

JP: Now we have Sylar and Noah. Those two will sink their teeth into the monkey brains.

Sylar: Yes!!!!!!

JP: And, wow, Sylar is one mean eating machine! Noah is trying to keep up, but no chance. It looks very good for Pesored.

Angela: Oh boy, oh boy!

JP: Last are Ando and Bob. Those two are facing live caterpillars. Ando looks queasy, but he is going ahead and eating. Bob is just staring at them.

Hiro: Bob! Bob! Bob?

Bob: I am not gonna do it.

Tribe Pesored: What? We are winning! You better get moving, spoonboy!

Bob: The reward is not worth the effort.

JP: Is that your final decision?

Bob: Yes.

JP: And with that, Unopu wins the reward challenge. Take your guests to your camp. There will be a big feast waiting for you with foods you will actually like.

Unopu: *Jubilates*

JP: Pesored, you may head back to camp now.

Sylar: I am full!

Angela: Peter, my son, I love you!

Peter: Mom, just go home.

At camp Pesored

Sylar: That monkey had no special abilities whatsoever. *scratches himself under armpits*

Mohinder: *pulls locust bits out of his teeth*

Sylar: Man, I would have loved to have some nice time with them super models…

Nathan: Yeah, me too.

Nikki: I wonder what mommy dearest would have said to that.

Nathan: Screw her.

Bob: I’d like to.

Nathan: *decks Bob*

Hiro: Wow, strong hand.

Nathan:* while holding his hand and grimacing* Thanks!

Bob (from the ground): You’re just like your father.

Nikki: You had it coming, man. I should kick your ass twice round camp. I wanted to hug my little Micah.

Bob: Think about it. The tribe with the guests will be much more distracted and less able to win the immunity challenge! I did us all a favor!

Hiro: Speak for yourself. Ando is probably feeling up my sister right now!

Mohinder: *throws up*

Claire: Eww, keep it together!

Mohinder: Leave me alone, or I’ll inject you with something!

Meanwhile at Unopu

Noah: Party! Party!Party!

Elle: This is some great food!

Matt: Molly, I think we need to go a little away from all the other grown-ups.

Molly: Yeah, they are pretty drunk.

Ando: Conga line!

Kimiko: *does the Conga dance*

Peter: *Caressing the super model* You know, I have powers.

Super model: Huh?

Peter: Who cares? *Pulls super model into the hut*

Super model: *giggles*

West: Dammit! Dammit! Two hot chicks at camp and now I have a burned….

Haitian: One of them is mine.

West: But you are not doing anything with her!

Haitian: She is still mine.

Noah: *sings* Party all the time, party all the tiiiiiimeeeee!

In the morning at the challenge location

JP: Welcome to our immunity challenge.

*Tribe Unopu walks in, stands on mat.*

*Tribe Pesored walks in, stands on mat.*

JP: Tribe Unopu, that was some party the other night. I heard you had fun.

Peter: I feel good! *stretches*

Noah: Yeah, real good! *stretches too*

Ando: *grins*

JP: So Matt, looks like you missed some action.

Matt: Not really. After Molly went to sleep, I had a great time.

JP: She must be a pretty deep sleeper.

Matt: Yep, she is. Even the yodeling didn’t wake her.

JP: Who yodeled?

Matt: *grins* Who didn’t?

JP: Well tribe Pesored, you didn’t win the reward, but you did win immunity last time. So, please hand back the immunity idol.

Claire: *hands over several clay pieces*

JP: What is this?

Claire: The immunity idol. It kinda slipped out of my hands.

JP: I don’t believe this!

Nathan: I guess she is used to things fixing themselves.

JP: Whatever. Immunity, back up for grabs.

JP: This challenge is a simple archery challenge. We have bows, arrows and targets. Whichever tribe gets the most bullseyes, wins. Should you get the arrow into the target by any other means, be it telekinesis, or flying it over, or whatever else strange things you all do, you will be disqualified.

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: First up are Hiro and Elle. They aim, and bullseye for Hiro and bullseye for Elle. That was precision right there.

JP: Next are Sylar and Matt: Wow, both also have no problem getting their bullseye shot in.

JP: Now Nathan and the Haitian go up shooting arrows. And Nathan gets it almost. He is only a few millimeters from the red circle , but still not there. The Haitian has the bullseye right there.

JP: Next up are Claire and West. And Claire gets it on target, but misses the bullseye. And West. West what are you doing? West releases the arrow and it lands halfway across the path.

West: I think I pulled a muscle!

Noah: If you had any muscles, your arrow would have gone all the way

JP: Next up are Nikki and Peter. Bullseye for both! And Nikkis arrow breaks the target. She should help the little guy out sometime.

JP: Now Bob and Noah battle it out. Bullseye for both of them too. I have never seen so many people hit the target!

Noah: You might want to visit a shooting range sometime.

JP: Last are Mohinder and Ando: Ando shoots and gets the target. Not bullseye, but nicely there. Mohinder is caught in the bow. Mohinder is trying to free himself. Mohinder breaks the bow. So much for that Mohinder. No, throwing the arrow won’t help you either. Stop, just stop!

JP: Tribe Unopu wins it’s second immunity challenge. Come here and get your immunity idol, or what’s left of it

JP: Tribe Pesored, I have nothing for you. Head on back to camp. See you at tribal council tonight.

At the tribal council grounds that night

JP: Welcome back to tribal council, tribe Pesored.

Pesored: *Walks in, grabs torches, lights them.*

JP: Grab a to…oh, you know the drill.

JP: So, you guys lost twice in a row now. First the reward and then the immunity challenge. Morale at camp must be an issue.

Nathan: The morale at camp is excellent.

Sylar: Yep.

JP: Oh really?

Claire: Look, I have a snake bite.

Hiro: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, snake!!!!!!!!!!!!

Claire: Whoops, it’s gone.

JP: Mohinder, what do you think will happen tonight?

Mohinder: Huh?

JP: What are you thinking about Mohinder?

Mohinder: *tousles a lock of his hair* I seriously need a good conditioner right about now.

JP: OK, that was not the answer I was looking for…

Sylar: Where did you get that monkey brain? I like monkey brain.

JP: Bob, do you think the tribe will hold it against you that you messed up the reward challenge?

Bob: No, I don’t think so.

Nikki: Speak for yourself.

Hiro: Yeah, you don’t really care about winning this, or the money. You can make your own money.

Bob: It is not about the money.

Mohinder: It isn’t?

Bob: No, it is about strategy and cunning. But why am I telling you this? You get outwitted by a simple bow.

Mohinder: But I am a better daddy than you are.

Claire: My dad is the best!

Nathan: Thanks!

Claire: Not you! I mean my badass daddy in the other tribe.

Nathan: Oh you mean,Mr. Karaoke king.

JP: Alright, I have heard enough. It is now time for you to vote. Sylar, you’re up!

Voting ensues. Flames, pens, frogs, snakes, parchment folding, getting up and sitting down shots.

JP: Once I go tally the votes, the decision is final and the tribe member will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Bob

JP: Second vote: Mohinder

JP: Third vote: Bob. That’s two votes Bob, one vote Mohinder.

JP: Fourth vote: Sylar.

Sylar: *has a laughing fit*

JP: Fifths vote: Mohinder. Two votes Bob, two votes Mo.

JP: Sixths vote: Bob. Three votes Bob, two votes Mo.

JP: Seventh vote: Bob.

JP: 3rd Person voted out of Survivor is Bob.

JP: Bob, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Bob: *mumbles something nobody can understand*

Hiro: Hiya!!!!!!!!!!!! *slam*

JP: What the heck was that?

Hiro: I hate snakes. *holds up dead snake*

JP: Head back to camp, please.

Voting slip shots for the Bob vote:

Sylar: (Parchment says Bob) Goldfinger! *grins*

Hiro: (Parchment says Bob): You talk too much.

Nathan: (Parchment says Mohinder and is spelled wrong) I don’t want you anywhere near my daughter.

Claire: (Parchment says Bob) Yeah, just ewwww.

Mohinder: (Parchment says Sylar) You need to go.

Bob: (Parchment says Mohinder) You are too stupid for your own good.

Nikki: (Parchment says Bob) One word: Micah

The next day at camp Pesored

Hiro: Party, party, party!

Claire: Why so chipper?

Hiro: I just did’t like gold digger man.

Claire: Don’t even try to outparty my dad. You’ll lose.

Hiro: Karaoke comes from my country, you know. *grins*

Nathan: *Skids in with treemail*

Sylar: Looky here, the postman commeth.

Nikki: *reads*
Test your knowledge and your skills.
The elements will guide you.
Dive down deep and go up the hills.
And a reward will find you.

Nathan: They should get someone better to do these rhymes. Seriously.

Hiro: I like them. Is simple.

Mo: Sylar, what is the problem, you are all pale.

Sylar: Nothing. *walks away*

Claire: Looks like Mr. Cool is scared.

Mo: *grins*

Nathan: *yells* Sylar, come back here this minute and use your words!

Claire: You sound like my dad.

Nathan: I AM your dad.

Claire: Whatever….

Sylar: We’re gonna lose this challenge.

Everyone: Why????????

Sylar: Because, because, well…

Hiro: Say it!

Sylar: I can’t swim!

Hiro: WHAT?

Nikki: You can’t be serious!

Mo: *laughs uncontrollably*

Claire: Are you telling me, that you, Mr. Badass, I eat people for breakfast, Sylar guy can’t keep his head above water?

Sylar: Yes.

Hiro: You idiot!!!!

Sylar: Watch it! And I just never got around to it.

Nikki: Then you have to learn it now, before we go to the challenge.

Sylar: How?

Claire: I can teach you. It is pretty simple.

Nathan: I don’t think this is a good idea. What if he gets onery?

Claire: I’ll drown him.

Sylar: That’s nice!

Hiro: Why can’t you just eat a fish brain? Then you would know how to swim.

Sylar: Yeah, that would work, IF I HAD GILLLS!!!!!!

Hiro: Sorry.

Mo: I am a very good swimmer.

Nathan: So?

Mo: I am better at something than him.

Nathan: Very impressive, Mo. Now go and sit in the hut like a nice little boy.

Nikki: I’ll teach you.

Sylar: Thanks.

Hiro: *sings* Hakuna Matata, it’s a wonderfull phrase….

Meanwhile at Unopu

Noah: Where are Peter and West?

Elle: They are having a flying competition.

Noah: That is a total waste of energy.

Haitian: No, that is is seriously funny. *grins*

Ando: Why?

Haitian: Because Peter turns invisible from time to time and makes West lose his pants.

Elle: That sounds porny.

Matt: No, it doesn’t.

Haitian: Elle, shut up.

Elle: &/%()?%$$& (some very bad words)

Matt: *stares at Elle*

Elle: I’ll go find a tree and sit in it now to comb my hair.

Haitian: Thanks Matt.

Matt: No problem.

Noah: It does sound a bit porny.

Matt: No it doesn’t. It was my idea.

Peter: *Skids in with treemail.*

Ando: Did you lose West?

Peter: *grins*

Matt: *reads*

Noah: What does it say?

Matt: New challenge is coming up. We have to swim and climb for a reward.

Peter: Sounds easy enough.

Elle: Why am I in this tree?

Peter: Yeah, why is she up there?

Matt: Because she looks good up there.

Haitian: As opposed to down here.

Peter: Ah, erm, oh, yeah, yeah. Nice place.

Noah: *chuckles*

Peter: *zaps Noah*

Noah: You little pampered box of…!!!

Peter: TK’s Noah.

Noah: That was more stupid than you will ever realize.

Elle: Can someone help me down from here?

Everyone: No!

Matt: *stares at Noah*

Noah: Come on Ando, let’s get some water.

Haitian: Man, don’t ever stare at me.

Matt: You don’t need staring at.

Peter: I think I’ll go tan now.

Haitian: (quietly) Yeah, a tan box.

Matt: *grins*

At the challenge location

JP: Welcome to the next challenge. Come in Unopu.

Unopu: *walks in, stands on mat*

JP: Haitian, why do you stare and squint at me like that?

Haitian: Oh, nothing, just experimenting…

JP: Stop that.

Matt: *chuckles*

JP: Anyway, take a look at the new tribe Pesored. Bob got voted off at the last tribal council.

Pesored: *walks in, stands on mat*

Everyone: *Looks at Elle*

Elle: *daydreams*

JP: Allright, lets get to the challenge.

Nathan: Why don’t we just have a stripping competition? All that running and throwing and whatnot is seriously boring.

Noah: *starts singing* I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my…

JP: No we won’t! Noah, Put that shirt back on!

Noah: Watch it Mr. Host guy! And who allowed you to call me Noah in the first place? I am HRG to you!

JP: No you’re not. Next time you sign up for a reality show, read the fine print.

Noah: I guess he got me there. *hums Too Sexy*

Claire: I am bored.

Peter: So you rather watch your dad stripping?

Claire: Or maybe my uncle? *grins*

Peter: *raises eyebrow*

JP: This is supposed to be PG 13!!!

Mo: Blood pressure!

JP: My blood pressure is not the issue here!

Mo: Healthy living IS important.

Ando: I don’t feel so good.

Sylar: I can make you feel…nothing.

Ando: That is not something either of us would enjoy very much.

Sylar: Oh yeah, I forgot, what would I want with your brain?

JP: The challenge consists of a tug of war. You will have to heave a float on a rope over a hill down to the beach. Then you will get the float into the water. You will then paddle out and dive for four boxes that are anchored in the water. Those boxes contain puzzle pieces.

Sylar: Not rocks? *grins*

Peter: Very funny, caterpillar face.

JP: Once you collected all the boxes, you will head back to shore. Then you will have to finish the puzzle. First tribe to come up with the solution to the puzzle wins a handsome reward.

Mo: Can you say that again? I am confused.

West: Me too.

Hiro: Me three. And I am the smart one.

JP: Nope, no repeating.

Sylar: *dances around* I don’t need to swi-im, I don’t need to swi-im!!!

Nikki: Great job, telling them your weakness.

Sylar: Well….crap.

Matt: Can you say anything more about the reward, other than that it is handsome?

JP: Sure, excuse my manners.

JP: The winning tribe will keep the float. And the winning tribe will receive a feast, including a karaoke machine, as you guys all love to sing so much.

Noah: Sweet!

Hiro: Yatta!!!

Everyone else: *groans*

Mo: I still don’t know what we are supposed to do.

Nathan: That might be for the best.

JP: Survivors, ready or not! Go!!!!!

JP: And they are off!

JP: Pesored and Unopu are both digging in and pulling the floats on the earthy ground. All are putting a lot of effort into this. Amazing what a karaoke machine means to these people!

JP: Pesored has a bit of a lead as Nikki is really pulling her weight and then some. …..Wait a minute!

Nikki: Sorry!

JP: Nikki, you just disqualified yourself from this challenge. Be happy your tribe is still in the game.

JP: On second thought, Peter, please come over here too.

Peter: I didn’t cheat!

JP: But you could.

Peter: No fair.

JP: Darn, I forgot commenting!

JP: Both tribes are now almost up the hill. Yes, they both got the floats up. Now they need to get them down to the beach.

JP: Unopu looks pretty wiped out already. Matt, West, and Ando are holding their stitches, but Noah is unrelenting.

JP: Pesored is also exhausted. But now they are sitting on the float and use it as a sleigh. That can’t work. But it does? That is weird.

JP: Unopu pushes the float down and is gaining on the sleigh party. Now they are all in the water.

Peter: Let me go back!

JP: Alright.

JP: Both tribes paddle out and quickly approach the flags where the boxes are anchored.

JP: Now Peter and Hiro dive. They come up with the boxes and heave them on board.

JP: Off they paddle to the next flag. Now the Haitian and Nathan take a dive. Nathan slightly faster than the Haitian, but both got what they wanted and keep going.

JP: Now they are approaching the third flag. Noah and Mo go in. They have a very tight race. Both get the boxes on board. But no! the Haitian lets it slip out of his hands and off the other side of the float!

JP: Now Peter, Noah and the Haitian are diving like crazy to get the box back!

JP: Pesored approaches the last flag fast. But nobody dives into the water. What the?

JP: Mo and Sylar are arguing. Oh my lanta, I didn’t think Mo could even look that angry! Now Mo is pushing Sylar into the water. Sylar sputters and holds on to the float. All the other tribe members are trying to keep Mo away and get Sylar back on the float. Now Mo jumps into the water and he is dunking Sylar in. Why in the world is he doing that? Sylar doesn’t look so good.

JP: Meanwhile Unopu got their box back and is heading for the fourth flag. They are getting there and Matt dives in. He can’t reach it and comes up for air. Elle goes now and it looks like she made it! Unopu is paddling back!

JP: At the Pesored float people are still having an under water brawl, but Claire jumped in and retrieved the last box. Nathan is getting everyone in line and now they are paddling back.

JP: Unopu reaches the beach and the puzzle table. Everyone crowds around the pieces and is very frantic.

JP: Pesored also reaches the puzzle table and goes to work. Actually, only Hiro goes to work and he solves it right away. Yes, this is correct, the word you were supposed to get is “special”!

JP: And with this, Pesored wins the reward challenge!!!!!

JP: That was quite interesting out there.

Sylar: It will have interesting consequences.

JP: Pesored, your reward will be at camp for you, but you are not ready to enjoy it yet.

Pesored: Huh?

JP: Unopu, you have another chance to come out a winner today. As for now we will start our surprise immunity challenge.

Everyone: WHAT????

JP: Hehe.

JP: Both tribes will sit down on their assigned benches over here and I will ask a series of questions. The tribe who has the most answers right, wins immunity.

Both tribes: *go sit down, take up a chalk board and some chalk.*

JP: Survivors ready, go!

JP: True or false: Are there poisonous snakes on this island?

JP: Reveal!

JP: Pesored says true, Unopu says true. Both are right. One point each.

JP: What is the name of the capital of this island?

Peter: Can I buy a vowel?

JP: No you can’t.

Nathan: *Laughs himself silly*

JP: Reveal!

JP: Pesored got it right! No such luck for Unopu.

JP: How many people on the two original tribes were related?

Claire: Huh’?

Noah: My oh my. *shakes head*

JP: Reveal!

JP: Yes, the number we were looking for is eight.

JP: Again, Pesored got it right. Unopu is two behind. Pesored, if you get the next question right, you got immunity!

JP: How many powers does Peter have?

Sylar: That is one weird question, dude.

JP: Weird is that you can eat brains.

Sylar: You got a point. *grins*

JP: Reveal!

Peter: I don’t wanna. It’s private.

JP: If you don’t comply, you forfeit.

Haitian: We forfeit.

Rest of Unopu: What????

Haitian: It’s the honorable thing to do.

JP: Alright!

JP: Pesored also wins the immunity challenge. Pesored, you can now celebrate two victories and as a twist, you can choose one member of Unopu to go with you to celebrate. That member will be safe from tonights vote.

Nathan: Peter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rest of Pesored: *groan*

JP: Pesored and Peter, have fun with the karaoke machine, Unopu, I have nothing for you, head back to camp.

Somewhere in the bushes around camp Unopu…

HRG: ARE YOU EFFING CRAZY????????????????????

Haitian: Some people have come to that conclusion.

HRG: Forfeit? Forfeit? Forfeit?????

Haitian: Do you have a word repeat sickness?

HRG: %$§&

Haitian: Calm down.

HRG: Don’t tell me to calm down! You made us lose the effing challenge!

Haitian: I don’t think so.

HRG: What?

Haitian: Are you really sure Peter knows about all the powers he has?

HRG: You got a point…Wait, the company knows.

Haitian: I am not so sure. Bob is rather lax in keeping tabs on everybody. I mean, you are still around…

HRG: But even so. We could have been right. We could be save right now!

Haitian: Maybe…

HRG: You kill me with your enthusiasm here.

Haitian: Let’ go back to camp.

HRG: No, we need to talk. I want Matt to go.

Haitian: No.

HRG: Yes. Matt has to go. I have been sent tapdancing and water lugging for the last time!

Haitian: The tap dancing was Peter..

HRG: …with Matt’s ability.

Haitian: True.

HRG: Think about it. Matt can control everybody. If we don’t get rid of him soon, he will be always the one with immunity, because we will all just hand it to him in the individual challenges.

Haitian: I don’t think he is as powerful as you say. He doesn’t think about the game that much.

HRG: How do you know?

Haitian: He openly uses his power and makes the likes of you nervous.

HRG: Yes, but what if he does it to make you think he doesn’t care when he does care, but makes it look like he doesn’t care?

Haitian: Come again?

HRG: You’re right. Not Matt.

Haitian: So we agree to not vote him off?

HRG: No, we don’t. I want him gone!

Haitian: He keeps me sane.

HRG: You know, we used to be a team. What happened to that?

Haitian: You used me quite ambitiously for your advantage.

HRG: You did not suffer for it.

Haitian: You know, we are not at work here. I can do what I want.

HRG: Damn, I miss my gun.

Haitian:Let’s forget about this whole conversation, shall we? *Raises hand*

HRG: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That evening at tribal council

JP: Welcome to tribal council.

Unopu: *Walks in, grabs torches, lights them, sits down*

JP: You don’t like when I talk, do you?

Haitian: Do you want an honest answer?

JP: Not necessary.

Matt: Why don’t you serve us some donuts?

JP: Coming right up!

JP: ?????? Wait a minute!

Matt: Hihi.

West: Am I not good enough anymore?

Matt: Oh yes you are. At least until the merge.

West: Another merge?

Matt: Shhhh

JP: What?

Noah: I feel fuzzy.

Elle: You look like a plucked aardvark.

Noah: Oh really?

JP: Haitian, you gave away a chance to win this immunity challenge.

Haitian: I don’t think I did.

JP: What does the rest of the tribe think?

Elle: I don’t care. There are too many boring guys in this tribe anyway.

West: I vote with my alliance!!

JP: Noah, what do you think?

Noah: It kinda feels like deja vue all over again.

JP: I am not going to try to figure this one out.

JP: It is time for you to vote. Ando you are up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal area immediately.

JP: I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Ando

JP: Second vote: Elle

JP: Third vote: Ando. That is two votes Ando, one vote Elle.

Noah: If I had a way to fast forward, I would.

JP: Fourth vote: Ando

JP: Fifths vote: Ando. That is enough. Fourth person voted out of survivor is Ando. Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Ando: Thank you!*leaves*

Noah: I still want that karaoke machine!

JP: Just go back to camp.

Voting slips for the Ando vote:

Ando: (parchment says Elle) You are way too bitchy for my taste.

Noah: (parchment says Ando) I still feel fuzzy.

Elle: (parchment says Ando) Buh bye little man.

Matt: (parchment says Ando) Sorry, I really liked you.

West: (parchment says Ando) I vote with my alliance!

Haitian: (parchment says Ando) I am sorry. You were the lowest common denominator.

Meanwhile at camp Pesored:

Sylar: They gave us lots of wine. Sweet!

Claire: Oh, crepes! I love crepes!

Nathan: Hey man, how are you holding up?

Peter: Not bad. Not bad. West is keeping the little bitch away from me and everyone else is kinda agreeable.

Nathan: Seriously?

Hiro: Stop talking! Plug it in! Plug it in!

Claire: Yeah an air freshener would be good right now.

Hiro: Huh?

Claire: You stink.

Hiro: Who cares! I want my music!

Sylar: Look him jumping up and down like a little carp. Adam had a point.

Mo: Ok, this cable is supposed to go here. That plug needs to go in there, no maybe somewhere else. This could also fit here.

Nathan: For crying out loud, who let you get to be in charge of this. *Plugs the karaoke machine in.* There!

Hiro: I am first!

Sylar: I need more wine!

Nikki: I won’t sing.

Mo: Awwwwwwwww, please?

Nikki: Well maybe.

Claire: hmpsgfklsm *chews about 3 crepes at the same time*

Peter: Very attractive.

Claire: Sorry. I just wanted to say I know a song.

Sylar: *applauds exactly twice*

Hiro sings:

Yahoo! This is your celebration
Yahoo! This is your celebration

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let’s celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on! (Let’s celebrate)

There’s a party goin’ on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

Sylar: He knows another word that starts with Y. I thought all he could say was Yatta.

Peter: That was mean!

Sylar: What, too private?

Peter: You are so not worth it.

Sylar: *shrugs*

Hiro *keeps singing*:

Celebration
Let’s all celebrate and have a good time
Celebration
We gonna celebrate and have a good time

It’s time to come together
It’s up to you, what’s your pleasure

Everyone around the world
Come on!

Yahoo! It’s a celebration
Yahoo!

Celebrate good times, come on!
It’s a celebration
Celebrate good times, come on!
Let’s celebrate

We’re gonna have a good time tonight
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
We’re gonna have a good time tonight
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right

Baby…

We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion)
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right
We’re gonna have a good time tonight (Ce-le-bra-tion)
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right

Nikki: He reminds me of that worst on American Idol guy.

Nathan: He is not that bad.

Mo: *hums along*

Hiro: *finishes song*

Hiro: Mo, you’re next!

Mo: Oooooooo, fun!

Claire: Take your shirt off!

Nathan: No more wine for you, young lady!

Mo:*takes shirt off*

Mo *sings*:

There’s a lady who’s sure
All that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven.

Theres a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
There’s a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are missgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

Theres a feeling I get
When I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

Sylar: Whats with him and all the complications and wondering?

Nikki: Shut it! I like that song!

Peter: *giggles*

Mo *keeps singing*:

And its whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If theres a bustle in your hedgerow
Don’t be alarmed now,
Its just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
Theres still time to change the road youre on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it wont go
In case you don’t know,
The pipers calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

Claire: *snores*

Mo *lets it all out*:

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll!!!!

Claire: What? I’m awake, I’m awake!

Peter: That was really not too shabby.

Mo: Thanks.

Hiro: Sylar, come on!

Sylar: Who? Me?

Hiro: Yes, yes, yes!

Sylar: Alright!

Sylar: *is about to start*

Mo: Hold on, I forgot something!

Mo *sings*:

And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.

Nikki: Awwwww!

Sylar: May I?

Mo: Sure, sink or swim!

Sylar *sings*:

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song …

Hiro: Somehow I knew he would sing something with the word ‘killing’ in it.

Nathan: He has smooth voice though.

Claire: Where is the rap part?

Nathan: I think this is the Roberta Flag version.

Claire: Who is that?

Peter: Even I know that!

Nathan: Well you got a nice music education from me. *Winks*

Sylar *continues*:

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn’t there.
But he just came to singing, singing clear and strong.

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song …

He was strumming, oh, he was singing my song.
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song …
With his song …

Nikki: That was cute. *kisses Sylar*

Sylar: *grins* If that gives me some action, I will sing all night.

Nathan: What we need now is some more up tempo stuff!

Hiro: Go ahead!

Peter: Don’t encourage him!

Hiro: Why not?

Peter: You’ll see….

Hiro: It is fun!

Peter: *is embarrassed already*

Nathan *sings*:

It’s Close To Midnight And Something Evil’s Lurking In The Dark
Under The Moonlight You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart
You Try To Scream But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It
You Start To Freeze As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes,
You’re Paralyzed

Mo: What? Did he see Bob?

Claire: Don’t remind me! Ewwwwww!

Nathan: Peter, come up here! You need to dance with me!

Peter: Nope!

Nathan *sings*:

‘Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
And No One’s Gonna Save You From The Beast About
Strike
You Know It’s Thriller, Thriller Night
You’re Fighting For Your Life Inside A Killer, Thriller
Tonight

Sylar: I like this song

Nikki: No surprise there.

Nathan: *continues*

You Hear The Door Slam And Realize There’s Nowhere Left To Run
You Feel The Cold Hand And Wonder If You’ll Ever See The Sun
You Close Your Eyes And Hope That This Is Just
Imagination
But All The While You Hear The Creature Creepin’ Up
Behind
You’re Out Of Time

Hiro: Sylar, I think he is singing about you.

Sylar: *grins*

Nathan: Peter come up here now!

Peter: Ok, ok, but I won’t sing.

Nathan: Not necessary with this one.

Peter and Nathan: * doing the Thriller dance as Nathan sings*

‘Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
There Ain’t No Second Chance Against The Thing With
Forty Eyes
You Know It’s Thriller, Thriller Night
You’re Fighting For Your Life Inside Of Killer, Thriller Tonight

Night Creatures Call
And The Dead Start To Walk In Their Masquerade
There’s No Escapin’ The Jaws Of The Alien This Time
(They’re Open Wide)
This Is The End Of Your Life

They’re Out To Get You, There’s Demons Closing In On Every Side
They Will Possess You Unless You Change The Number On Your Dial
Now Is The Time For You And I To Cuddle Close Together
All Thru The Night I’ll Save You From The Terror On The Screen,
I’ll Make You See

That This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
‘Cause I Can Thrill You More Than Any Ghost Would Dare To Try
Girl, This Is Thriller, Thriller Night
So Let Me Hold You Tight And Share A Killer, Diller, Chiller
Thriller Here Tonight

Hiro: Nice!!!!

Nathan: This is the way it is done!

Peter: Calm down!

Nathan: You ain’t seen nothing yet!

Claire: And I am the one who can’t have more wine….

Nikki: You have more whine than anybody else.

Claire: What?

Nikki: Forget it.

Hiro: Nikki, don’t argue, sing!
Nikki: If I have to…

Peter: Yes you have to. Otherwise Nathan won’t let go of this thing anymore.

Nathan: Spoilsport!

Nikki *sings*:

Talking away
I don’t know what I’m to say
I’ll say it anyway
today’s another day to find you
Shying away
I’ll be coming for your love O.K.

Take on me
Take me on
I’ll be gone
in a day or two

Hiro: Is she talking about her multiple personalities?

Sylar: Shhhh!

Claire: Ouch! Pitch problems!

Peter: Come on, this is really high.

Nathan: You can do better!

Peter: Shut it!

Nikki*keeps singing*:

So needless to say I’m odds and ends
But that’s me, stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is O.K.
Say after me
It’s no better to be safe than sorry.

Take on me
Take me on
I’ll be gone
in a day or two.

The things that you say
Is it live or just to play
My worries away
You’re all the things I’ve got to remember
You shying away
I’ll be coming for you anyway

Take on me
Take me on
I’ll be gone
in a day or two

Sylar: *Claps frantically*

Nikki: *Blushes and sits down*

Mo: That looked good!

Hiro: That gives me an idea. *gets up and takes the mic* I dedicate the next song to Nikki *Sings*:

She’s a brick—-house
Mighty mighty, just lettin’ it all hang out
She’s a brick—-house
The lady’s stacked and that’s a fact,
ain’t holding nothing back.

She’s a brick—-house
She’s the one, the only one,
who’s built like a amazon
We’re together everybody knows,
and here’s how the story goes.

Nikki: *laughs and spits wine*

Claire: As if. I have more to show than her.

Sylar: It’s all in the presentation. *makes out with Nikki*

Hiro: Claire, what is your song?

Claire: Well, as long as we are dedicating, I dedicate this song to Peter. *Beams*

Peter: Seriously? *raises both eyebrows*

Nathan: That is so wrong.

Sylar: Funny!

Claire *sings*:

Oh Mickey, you’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine
You’re so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey…

Nikki: That song is not bad. But that whole cheerleading routine is a bit much.

Peter: *is very embarrassed*

Claire *goes on*:

Hey Mickey
You’ve been around all night and that’s a little long
You think you’ve got the right but I think you’ve got it wrong
Why can’t we say goodnight? So you can take me home, Mickey

Cause when you say you will, it always means you won’t
You’re givin’ me the chills, baby, please baby don’t
Every night you still leave me all alone, Mickey

Hiro: Is she meaning what I think she is meaning?

Sylar: What else could it be?

Mo: So I took my shirt off for nothing???

Claire *really gets into it*:

Oh Mickey, what a pity, you don’t understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Mickey, you’re so pretty, can’t you understand
It’s guys like you, Mickey
Ooh what you do Mickey, do Mickey
Don’t break my heart, Mickey

Hey Mickey
Now when you take me by the… who’s… ever gonna know
Every time you move I let a little more show
There’s something you can use, so don’t say no, Mickey

So come on and give it to me anyway you can
Anyway you want to do it, I’ll take it like a man
Oh please baby, please don’t leave me in this jam Mickey

Oh Mickey, what a pity, you don’t understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
Oh Mickey, you’re so pretty, can’t you understand
It’s guys like you, Mickey
Ooh what you do Mickey, do Mickey
Don’t break my heart, Mickey

Nathan: Ummmm

Claire: *sweats and breathes hard and beams*

Hiro: Let me have that mic, thanks.

Sylar: *laughs himself silly*

Nathan: My turn!

Nikki: But you already…

Hiro: Let the man sing!!

Nathan: Peter, I need you.

Peter: How much worse can this get?

Nathan: Come on. I can’t do this without you.

Peter: But I don’t have my hairbrush.

Nathan: You don’t need your hairbrush, you will get a real mic. And besides, I saved your butt tonight from tribal council. Do this for me.

Peter: You got a point. Well, who am I kidding. I knew this was coming all evening.

Nathan: Atta boy!

Nathan and Peter: *take the stage and….

….sing together*

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-

Hiro: There is that word again. Landslide.

Nikki: Shut up!

Peter and Nathan: *continue*

Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-

Nathan:
I’m just a poor boy,I need no sympathy-
Nathan and Peter:
Because I’m easy come,easy go,
A little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesn’t really matter to me,
Nathan:
To me

Nathan:
Mama, just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now he’s dead,
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didn’t mean to make you cry-
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-
(Piano)
Hiro: He really got mommy issues, doesn’t he?

Claire: They both do. It’s so sad.

Sylar: Boohoo. He doesn’t even know what he is singing about.

Nikki: What do I need to do here to just get to listen to this song?

Nathan:
Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Body’s aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-I’ve got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo- (Peter: any way the wind blows)
I don’t want to die,
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all-
(Guitar)
Mo: Hey, it’s picking up speed.

Nathan:
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Nathan and Peter:
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-

Claire: Scawhat??

Nathan and Peter:
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Nathan:Galileo,
Peter(Falsetto):Galileo,
Nathan:Galileo
Peter (Falsetto):Galileo
Nathan and Peter: Galileo figaro-magnifico-

Claire: That did not make any sense at all.

Nikki: *decks Claire* uncultured brat.

Nathan:
But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
Peter:
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-

Sylar: As if.

Nathan:
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
Peter:
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-
Nathan:let him go-

Hiro: Bis what?

Peter:
Bismillah! we will not let you go
Nathan: -let him go

Peter:
Bismillah! we will not let you go
Nathan: -let me go

Peter:
Will not let you go
Nathan:-let me go

Peter:
Will not let you go
Nathan:-let me go

Peter:
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Nathan:
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-

Peter and Nathan:
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,
Peter(Falsetto):for me! *He levitates a bit.*

Sylar: That must hurt.

Peter: *Airguitars the heck out of it*

Nathan:
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-can’t do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Mo: Oh I like this part!

Nathan:
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Peter:
Any way the wind blows….

Nikki: That was amazing! Do that again!

Claire: What did I miss?

Hiro: Ok, Peter now is your turn.

Peter: Are you kidding??? I just sang my heart out!

Hiro: But you haven’t done a song by yourself yet.

Peter: Is that a requirement?

Everyone: Peter! Peter! Peter! Peter!

Peter: OK, ok. *Grins*

Sylar: May I suggest your take on ‘Take on me’?

Peter: Nope. We had that one already.

Sylar: He doesn’t deny that he can do it though. *Snickers*

Nathan: Leave my bro alone or you’ll be sorry.

Sylar: Oh, I am so scared now.

Nathan: *grabs Sylar and flies way up high*

Sylar: screeeeeech!

Nathan: *Gets back down*

Nathan: Told ya.

Peter: *chuckles*

Claire: Come on, let’s all get along.

Peter: Alright, that gives me an idea for a song.

Nikki: Go for it!

Peter *sings*:

And I
Never thought I’d feel this way
And as far as I’m concerned I’m glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try to feel the way we do today
And than if you can’t remember…..

Keep smilin’
Keep shinin’

Knowin’ you can always count on me
for sure
that’s what friends are for

Everybody *joins*:

In good times
And bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for

Peter:

Well you came and open me
And now there’s so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you….

Ohhh and then
For the times when we’re apart
Well just close your eyes and know
These words are comming from my heart
And then if you can’t remember….Ohhhhh

Everybody:

Keep smilin’
Keep shinin’

Knowin’ you can always count on me
for sure
that’s what friends are for

In good times
And bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for……..

The next day at the challenge location

JP: Welcome back tribes to the new challenge

Tribe Pesored comes in and stands on mat. Peter stands somewhere beside it.

JP: Peter, come over here please.

Peter: *shrugs, goes over to JP*

Tribe Unopu comes in. Stands on mat.

JP: Let’s take a look at the new tribe Unopu. Ando got voted off at the last tribal council. Peter you can go back to your tribe now. Yes I meant Unopu.

Peter: *goes over*

Hiro: Awwwwww, poor Ando.

Nikki: Yeah, I would have like to ruffle his feathers a bit.

Hiro: Huh?

JP: Let’s move on to our next immunity challenge.

Noah: What, no more reward?

JP: Nope, you guys are having way too much fun!

Elle: No we don’t!

Peter: *grins*

JP: Whatever, immunity, back up for grabs.

Hiro: Wait a sec! *Teleports* Here you go.

JP: This pityfull thing really needs to go.

JP: Listen up! We will have you go up those fake palm trees and hunt for coconuts. The tribe who gathers the most coconuts wins immunity, and can keep the coconuts.

Claire: I hate coconuts.

Elle: I like nuts.

Everybody else: *is roaring with laughter*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: First up are Sylar and Matt. They both climb up and get into the coconuts. Sylar has some and brings them down. Matt just throws them down. Matt is way faster that way. Sylar gets back up and starts throwing too. But he is too late, Matt has gathered all the coconuts in his tree. Time’s over for Sylar!

JP: Next are Claire and Noah.

Noah: Hi Clairebear!

Claire: Hi daddy.

JP: And off they go. Claire is up there in a hurry, but has a bit trouble loosening the coconuts. Noah gets up and just rips the whole tree apart. Both throw like heck.

Mo: Ouch!

JP: Not a good place to stand, Mo.

Mo: I don’t feel so good.

JP: And they both finish at the same time.

Noah: That was Bennet super power!

JP: Yeah, just get back.

JP: Next up are Nikki and Peter. And….Wow, both are done already.

Peter and Nikki: *grin*

JP: Next up are Nathan and the Haitian. Both make their way up. Lovely climbing. They get the coconuts and trow them . Nathan even hangs upside down to work faster. And Nathan finishes just a little faster than the Haitian.

JP: Next up are West and Hiro. They both climb up slowly. What’s the hold up?

Hiro: I am afraid of heights.

West: *giggles, slips, falls*

Hiro: See?

JP: Both are getting up now and start undoing the coconuts. West has trouble getting them off. Hiro manages. Now West gets the hang of it. But too late, Hiro is done.

JP: Last are Mohinder and Elle. Elle robs up the tree.

Sylar: OMG, she needs it bad.

JP: Mo stands in front of his tree.

Mo: I really don’t feel so good. What should I do now?

Pesored: GET UP THAT TREE!!!!!

Mo: Oh, ok.

JP: Now Mo starts digging a hole in front of his tree. WTF? Elle has meanwhile reached the coconuts and throws them down one by one. Mo has proceeded to sit in front of the hole and to meditate. And with that, Elle has thrown the last coconut and tribe Unopu wins the immunity challenge.

Mo: Trees are beautiful.

JP: Poor man, go head back to camp.

Back at camp Unopu:

Noah: So Peter, what did you find out?

Peter: Huh?

Noah: At camp Pesored! What did you do there? What alliances are there? Anything newsworthy?

Peter: We sang. Yeah, mostly we sang.

Noah: That was it???

Peter: We also drank a lot of wine and ate crepes. And Sylar and Nikki made out a lot.

Elle: Ewwwww!

Matt: Look who is talking.

Noah: And Claire? How is she?

Peter: I don’t want to talk about her.

Noah: Huh?

Matt *squints at Peter*: Oh ha!

Peter *squints at Matt*

Matt: Alright dude, sorry!!!!

Peter: I think I need to sleep a bit. *goes to stretch out and takes a nap*

Noah: What was it you saw? Why ‘Oh ha’?

Matt: I really can’t tell you.

Noah: If anything happened to my Claire bear I WILL go postal!

West: What? Anymore than you already are?

Elle: Hihi, that was a good one!

West: *beams*

Elle: Wanna get zapped?

West: Yeah!

At camp Pesored:

Sylar: Hey Mo, how is your brain?

Mo: I have a killer headache.

Sylar: No you don’t.

Nathan: That was bad. Really, really bad.

Nikki: That was the worst challenge ever.

Claire: We were winning!

Hiro: Until you hit him with your coconut you doofus!

Claire: Wasn’t mine!

Hiro: Was too.

Claire: Dammit!

Nathan: Stop swearing!

Claire: Stop pretending to be my dad!

Nathan: I AM YOUR DAD!!!!

Claire: Yeah, nice going for the first 15 years there, dad!

Nathan: That was unfair!

Hiro: QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: *is quiet.*

Sylar: Impressive!

Hiro: *bows*

Nikki: Little man is making it big. *Grins*

Mo: *throws up*

Nathan: I think he has a concussion.

Claire: Nah, he throws up after every challenge.

Mo: That… is not true.

Sylar: At least he won’t sing with his shirt off anytime soon now.

Nathan: His singing was fine.

Nikki: Yeah, I liked it.

Claire: Mine was better.

Nathan: Well, apart from your incestous intentions, it was not bad.

Claire: Huh?

Sylar: Too many big words, Nate. You have to break it down for her.

Nathan: I’d rather not.

Hiro: Oh, look, another piece of the idol!

The Nikki/Jessica voting monologue (dialog?)

Nikki: It is high time to vote Sylar off. He is getting way too dangerous!

Jessica: Are you crazy, b?

Nikki: Funny, you would ask me that.

Jessica: Come on! Sylar is oh so fine. I want him around.

Nikki: Think with your head and not your libido for once.

Jessica: At least I have one.

Nikki: Insulting me is not helping.

Jessica: But it’s fun.

Nikki: It won’t be fun when he is eating our brain.

Jessica: Alright. But let’s have him around a bit longer.

Nikki: Why?

Jessica: Because he keeps me warm at night. Let’s vote Momo off. He is a looser.

Nikki: He can cook and he is not a threat.

Jessica: Who needs food when you can have hot, steamy lovin’?

Nikki: You make as much sense as a hormonal highschooler.

Jessica: You forgot how to spell fun.

Nikki: F. U. N.

Jessica: I think I made my point.

Nikki: Huh?

Jessica: *giggles*

Nikki: Let’s get back to Sybrows. We need to vote him off.

Jessica: Yeah, I know. But not yet.

Nikki: Alright, we wait a little bit longer.

Jessica: And then we mow him down.

Nikki: We actually agree on something?

Jessica: Amazing, isn’t it?

Nikki: Let’s head back to camp.

Jessica: I go wherever you go.

Later that evening at tribal council

JP: Welcome tribe Pesored to another tribal council.

Tribe Pesored: *Walks in, does the torch thing, sits down*

JP: So, how do you guys feel?

Mo: I have a headache.

Nathan: I feel fine.

Claire: No you don’t.

Nathan: I am not talking with you anymore.

Sylar: Hehe, the whole daddy thing kinda blew up in his face.

Nikki: I am hungry.

Sylar: Come here my sweets!

Nikki: No, really hungry for food.

Hiro: Me too.

JP: I was more asking along the lines of this game.

Sylar: You know, this game is all you are ever interested in. That bores me.

Claire: *giggles*

JP: Well Claire, how do you feel? I mean we watched the video of the challenge and it was very clear that your coconut knocked Mo out.

Claire: It is not my fault that he doesn’t know where to stand.

Hiro: You are both clumsy.

Nikki: Got that right.

Nathan: That is not something that runs in the family. Must have come from Meredith’s side.

Hiro: Who is Meredith?

Nathan: I’ll tell you later.

Mo: I think I need a bucket.

JP: Ewwwww!

Nathan: Do we get to vote anytime soon here, or will we do smores and sing a couple of songs?

Sylar: Yeah, get going already.

JP: Alright! It is time to vote. Nikki, you’re up!

*voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Sylar: Rules, rules, rules, rules.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote Claire.

JP: Second vote Mo.

JP: Third vote Claire. That’s two votes Claire, one vote Mo.

Sylar: There we go with the counting again.

JP: If you don’t stop with your pissy comments, I will kick you off this show.

JP: Fourth vote Mo. That’s two votes Claire and two votes Mo.

Sylar: *sings* ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z. Now I know my ABC’s, next time won’t you sing with me?

JP: You are really pushing your luck here.

Nathan* whispers*: Sy, give it a rest.

Sylar: Ok

JP:Fifth vote Mo.

JP*reads last vote*: Next person voted out of survivor Heroes is Mohinder.

JP: Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken. It is time for you to go.

Mo: Do you have headache medicine?

JP: Yeah we do.

JP: The rest of you, head on back to camp.

Voting slips for the Mo vote:

Nikki: (parchment says Mo) I have an agreement to keep here.

Hiro: (parchment says Claire) You get on my nerves.

Sylar: (parchment says Momo) Now you go swim with the fishies.

Mo: (parchment says Claire) You hit me with a coconut!

Nathan: (parchment says Mo) Man, I just think it is better for your overall health if you leave now.

Claire: (parchment says Mohander) You stopped being cute a while ago.

The next day at the challenge location
JP: Welcome to our next survivor challenge.

Tribes Pesored and Unopu: *walk in*

JP: Unopu, may I present the new tribe Pesored, Mo got voted off last night.

Peter: No surprise there.

Sylar: Watch out, you are the next in line of IQ points.

Peter: You know, for someone who sleeps with the enemy and considers that smart, you have a pretty big lip.

Nikki: Huh?

Noah: Hihi.

JP: Well, we have little surprise for you guys. Drop your buffs.

Elle: Oh, we are dropping our clothes?

JP: No, only your buffs.

Hiro: I brought a missing piece of the idol!

JP: Yeah, whatever.

Haitian: Now what?

JP: Now we will draw some colored rocks from this box and determine the new constellation of tribes. Pesored gets the yellow stones and Unopu gets the turqoise ones.

Noah: I never would have guessed the colors.

Claire: Hehe, dad sounds like Sylar.

Noah: Oh crap!

JP: Alright, Hiro, come get your stone. Keep it in your hand and only reveal when I tell you to.

Hiro: Box of rocks. That reminds me of something…

West: *giggles*

Nikki: You sound like a girl.

West: Am not!

Nikki: *hisses*

West: *yelps*

JP: Alright, get your stones, everyone.

Matt: I’d rather have balls.

Nathan: I don’t doubt that.

Matt: *raises eyebrow*

JP: Everyone, reveal!

JP: Alright, the new tribe Unopu are: Peter, Sylar, West, Haitian and Matt.
The new tribe Pesored are: Hiro, Noah, Elle, Claire, Nikki and Nathan.

JP: Hands out buffs accordingly

Claire: Many, many curse words.

Noah: Claire bear!

Claire: Great, two daddies, one crazy Asian dude and two bitches. And all the hot guys are on the other tribe.

Hiro: I would really appreciate you shutting up every once in a while.

West: I don’t feel safe.

Everyone: *laughing*

JP: We will have a challenge now with the new tribes.

JP: For our challenge, we will have the tribe members blindfolded, except one. The tribe members will be send into two identical mazes and the seeing tribe members will have to direct them to a set of 5 keys. The seeing tribe members also have to watch out that the other members of their tribe don’t run into each other.

JP:Once the tribes have retrieved all five keys, they can take off the blind folds and will come out of the maze and open a treasure chest with those keys. Inside that treasure chest is a map. On that map is a location indicated. The first tribe who gets all members on to that location, wins immunity.

Elle: Huh?

Nathan: You get to run around and look pretty.

Elle: Okay.

Claire: Now he is sucking up to her.

Nikki: Shut it!

Sylar (from the other mat): Catfight! Catfight!

JP: The seeing member for Unopu will be West. The seeing member for Pesored will be Claire. You two get on your lookout posts. The rest of the tribes, get your blindfolds on and get into your mazes.

Matt: Why do we have two mazes?

JP: We like it that way.

Matt: He really treats us like two year olds.

Peter: Yeah.

Haitian: Let’s get to work.

JP: Survivors ready! Go!!!

JP: And they are off! Tribe Unopu has a bit of trouble getting through the door at once. But they make it in. Pesored has Noah lining them all up. Impressive work there with a blindfold on. And they march in.

West: Sylar, go straight ahead, there is a key right in front of you! Yes!

Claire: Dad, dad, turn left!

Noah and Nathan: *Both turn left. Nathan bumps into Elle.*

Elle: Ouch!

Nathan: Sorry!

Elle: She did that on purpose!

Claire: Dad, straight ahead now, yeah, that’s it, there is a key!

West: Matt, go left! No my left! Farther, and now turn right! No my right! Peter, get out of the way!

Peter: Why did you not tell me where the key is?

West: What?

Sylar: *bumps into Peter.*

Sylar and Peter: Ouch!

Matt: I got it!

Sylar: No, that is my key!

Matt: West, could you talk to us????

West: Elle is so pretty.

Peter: WEST!!!!

West: Oh sorry, Matt grab in front of you and you got it!

Matt: *grabs the key.*

Claire: Nikki turn left and walk three steps.

Nikki: *Runs into wall.*

Claire: Girl steps!

Nikki: *Grabs key above her and spits on the ground.*

Claire: Hiro, turn around and grab in front of you!

Hiro: Yatta!!!

West: Haitian, go around the corner there. At the end is a key.

Haitian: I don’t trust you.

Peter: Just go get the key.

West: Peter, if you go back two steps, there is one to your left.

Peter: *turns around, goes two steps and puts arms out to both sides.*

Peter: Got it.

Matt: Are we done yet?

Claire: Nathan, skip forward a few times and grab to your right.

Nathan: What?

Claire: I just wanted to see you skip.

Hiro and Elle: *bump into each other.*

Hiro: Ewwww

Claire: Hiro, go to the left. Yes, there is another one!

Nikki: *hums* To the left, to the left, every thing I own is to the left…

Noah: Let’s keep moving people!

Claire: Dad, there is one behind you!

Noah: Could you be a bit more specific?

Claire: Huh?

West: Peter, go forward and reach low, there is one.

Peter: *does a crawl, gets the key.*

JP: Unopu has all five keys, they can leave the maze!

Noah: *Wildly grabs around for the key and gets it.*

JP:Pesored follows suit! Both tribes are now running to the treasure chests. And Unopu has the treasure chest open and gets the map out.

Haitian: No man, turn it around!

JP: Pesored has trouble getting the keys in, but now they got it! And they are also looking at the map.

JP: Unopu and Pesored are heading off, and it is a full run to the designated area. And with just a hair of a lead, Unopu wins the challenge!!!!!! Congratulations guys, well done!

Sylar: Yeah, guy power!!!

Nikki: I am gonna kill that bitch!!!

JP: Unopu, have great day, Pesored, see ya at tribal!

At the tribal council grounds
JP: Welcome tribe Pesored to yet another tribal council.

Tribe Pesored: *Walks in, does the torch thing, sits down.*

JP: So Noah, and Elle, how is it on your first day with this new tribe?

Elle: It sucks!

Noah: I am just happy to see my Claire bear.

Claire: Could you stop calling me that in public?

Noah: Oh, sorry Claire b… ahem, Claire.

JP: Nikki, why are you touseling Nathans hair?

Nikki: Because I think he needs some appreciation.

Hiro: And Sylar is on the other tribe now.

Nikki: What’s it to you?

Nathan: I like it. *Grins*

Noah: You are not setting a good example here.

Nathan: What?

Noah: I mean regarding flighty hook ups. We have teenagers here.

Nikki: Watch it, company man!

Nathan: *is laughing* Well, if you mean Claire, you are a little too late. She is beyond help.

Noah: What?

Claire: Let’s vote!!!

JP: Yes, let’s. Hiro, you’re up.

*voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Elle: He says that every time.

Nathan: I guess he has a reason for it.

Nicky: *giggles*

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Elle.

JP: Second vote: Claire

JP: Third vote Elle.

JP: Fourth vote Claire.

Hiro: He is not doing the adding up anymore?

Nathan: Do you miss it?

Hiro: No

JP: Fifth vote :Claire

JP: *reads vote* Next person voted out of survivor Heroes is Claire. Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken. It is time for you to go.

Noah: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Claire: *swears loudly*

JP: Go head on back to camp!

Voting slips for the Claire vote:

Hiro: (parchment says Claire) You really get on my nerves.

Noah: (parchment says Elle) Goodbye little miss one zap wonder.

Elle: (parchment says Claire) I hate you!

Claire: (parchment says Elle) I hate you!

Nikki: (parchment says Claire) Girl steps, baby.

Nathan: (parchment says Claire) No way will you be all over my brother!

The next day at camp Unopu:

Matt: Ah, isn’t it enjoyable around here?

Haitian: Yes, and so quiet. I love quiet.

Sylar: No kidding.

West: I miss Elle.

Matt: Little donut, we all enjoy the fact that she is gone and you miss her?

Sylar: Why are you calling West little donut?

Peter: Trust me, you don’t want to know.

Sylar: What?

Haitian: Donuts have holes.

Sylar: Ewwwww!

Matt: I thought you have tasted the rainbow?

Sylar: Shhhh!

Peter: What is it with all of you? First I have my niece hitting on me and then all the guys are in cahoots?

Matt: Make love, not war.

Peter: Hippie

Matt: Emo boy

Haitian: Could you stop your lovers quarrel?

West: I did not have much choice…

Peter: I did not consider you one of the guys.

Haitian: So, Sylar, anyone on your old tribe you really wanna take out?

Sylar: Wouldn’t you want to know that?

Peter: I could make you tell us.

Sylar: I could eat your brain.

Peter: pffft

West: I still don’t feel safe.

Matt: Come to papa, my little donut.

The next day at the challenge location

JP: Welcome back to our next challenge tribe Unopu.

Tribe Unopu:*walks in, stands on mat.*

JP: So how is it in the all boys club?

Sylar: Funny you would ask that.

West: It’s not my fault!

Peter: Sweetie, everything is your fault. It is one of the laws of the universe.

Sylar: Look who is talking.

Peter: *zaps Sylar a little*

Sylar: Dayum!

JP: Take a look at the new tribe Pesored. Claire got voted off last night.

Peter: THANK YOU!

Tribe Pesored: *walks in, stands on mat.*

Nikki:* blows kisses to Sylar.*

JP: I see you guys are in a good mood.

Elle: Oh yeah!

Noah: I am not.

Nathan: Who cares?

Noah: This is so gonna change everything!

Haitian: Every elimination does.

West: How did he mean that?

JP: Never you mind.

JP: As you all know, we are down to ten tribe members now.

Elle: We are? I thought we are nine now.

Matt: No, we are ten. It is Sylar, West, Haitian, Peter and me on tribe Unopu and Hiro, Noah, Nikki, Nathan and you on tribe Pesored.

Elle: What?

Matt: Ten, ten people!

Elle: What are you telling me for, how many people are on each tribe? I never said anything about any number!

Haitian: Don’t look at me, I did nothing to her.

JP: Anyway, we could merge now. But we have a nice little twist to this merging this season.

Peter: He is a twisty one.

JP: We will hold our first individual immunity challenge now. It is a race. All survivors will have to cross a series of balance beams, nets, high climb walls and ponds. The first eight survivors who cross the finish line will end on a platform that will mean they made it into the new, merged tribe. There will be a differently colored buff waiting for you there. The two last survivors awaits a different fate.

Noah: Instant elimination. I like it!

JP: For the first time, individual immunity up for grabs!

Matt: I am so done with jumping through all the hoops here.

Sylar: Wanna forfeit?

Matt: Not a chance. Have fun swimming Sybrows.

JP: Survivors ready? Go!!!!

JP: And they are off! Looks like Hiro, Matt and Nathan are the fastest on the first balance beams. Noah falls off and has to start again. Why is Peter doing a monkey tail? Ah, now he is also going. Nikki has no trouble either. Elle is concentrating hard. She is walking slowly. The Haitian, Sylar and West are passing her by.

The Petrellis and Sylar are now the first ones at the high climb wall. Easy going there for them. Matt has to heave a little more, but he makes it. Noah and the Haitian scale it, Nikki has no problem either. Elle and Hiro are struggling, but they put all their effort in. Yeah they got it. West is standing in front of it, looking forlorn.

Now they are in the rope nets. Everyone is pretty close together, except West, who is still a station back, kinda running into the high climb wall. Elle and Nikki are the fastest up and over. Followed by Nathan and Matt. Hiro and Haitian follow suit. Sylar and Peter are lower in the net and seem to be having an argument. What are they doing? This is not supposed to be a bondage session!!

West has finally made his way over the wall and looks exhausted. He gets into the net as Sylar and Peter finally untangle themselves and move out.

Matt, Nathan, Noah and Nikki are the first at the huge pond. They dive into it and swim across. Hiro, Elle, Haitian, and Peter follow. Sylar is wading into it. West is still somewhere in the rope net. Sylar is now looking anxious.

Nathan, Nikki and Noah are now on the second set of balance beams. What is that? Nikki turns around? Nikki goes back??? What the????

Now Nathan and Noah chase each other up the balance beams to the platforms. And Noah slips again. Nathan makes it onto his platform first. That means Nathan wins immunity!!!!!!!

Next to come up on his platform is Noah. Nikki is back at the pond, helping Sylar across. That will cost her a lot of time! Whatever made her do this?

Peter and Hiro are now safely on their platforms. Matt and the Haitian also make it.Now Elle also joins the new tribe. West is still in the ropes. Now both Nikki and Sylar are out of the pond and they race! Both are running up those balance beams! And Sylar makes it just before Nikki. And in a surprising twist, Nikki is the second person who does not make it onto the platforms! Amazing!

Nikki *pants*: I will never help you again, ever!!!

Sylar: I didn’t ask for your help.

JP: Nathan, here is your immunity idol.

Nathan *pants*: Thanks

JP: Now, we have two members who did not make it onto the platforms. Those are Nikki and West. One of them will be eliminated from the game immediately. The other one will be send to a secluded island for a day and will then join the tribe. On that island is another immunity idol safely hidden. So Nathan, who will go to the island? It is your choice!

Nathan: Oh man! Nikki goes to the island.

Nikki: Yay!!!! *kisses Nathan*

West: *cries*

JP: Goodbye West, the game ends here for you.

West: I hate you! I hate you all!

JP: Now you guys will head back to the former camp Unopu and come up with a new name. Please leave your old buffs on the platforms and put your new, blue ones on.

Matt: Dude, the merge.

JP: What about it?

Matt: You guys just kicked out my little donut.

JP: Your what?

Matt: You know what that means?

JP: No, I am utterly confused.

Matt: It means that I have to find me a new little donut! That is what that means!

Elle: *laughs*

JP: Please head back to camp now and don’t confuse me anymore.

Merged tribe: *Leaves*

Back at camp:

Peter: So, we need a new name.

Noah: The winners!!!

Sylar: The brain eaters!

Elle: Ewwww!

Haitian: It is tradition to combine the two former tribe names somehow.

Hiro: I don’t like either of those names.

Matt: *sits and squints at Nathan*

Nathan: Oh no you don’t!!!! *screams* Peter! Do something!

Peter: *Tk’s a palm tree branch at Matt.*

Matt: *loses his concentration.*

Sylar: How about the Hot Survivors Posse?

Peter: How about the Survivorholics?

Nathan: How about we come up with something and get this whole naming thing over with?

Hiro: Lets just be Unopusored

Everyone: *mumbles unenthusiastic agreement*

Noah: Okay, that is settled then.

Haitian: I will not paint that stupid flag.

Elle: Oh, I love colors! *paints lot’s of girlish stuff on the flag.*

Sylar: Move away from the flag, girl. We are not the Care Bears.

Haitian: And also not the Claire bears *chuckles*

Noah: Was that necessary?

Peter: Yes, very.

Matt: Maybe villains aren’t all that bad.

Haitian: Wow, that is desperate. Why don’t you go for Peter?

Matt: Too much feedback.

Peter: *grins*

Matt: *starts painting the flag and does a decent job with it.*

Noah: Where did you learn that? Art appreciation day?

Peter: No, Momo the ho…

Matt: Don’t you dare!!!

Peter:… taught him that.

Sylar: *has laughing fit*

Matt: How did you get by that?

Peter: It was right in front of your mind. It practically screamed at me.

Matt: *curses*

Noah: OK, enough of that. Lets get organized! We need a bigger hut! Get moving!

Nathan: Oh joy *rolls eyes*

Peter: Just for old times sake *squints at Noah*

Noah: *tapdances* STOP IT!!!!!!

Tribe Unopusored: *hysterical laughter*
Meanwhile on a desolate little island….

Nikki: Great job Jess! Excellent! You just got us almost kicked out of the game!!!!

Jessica: We got saved and have a chance of finding the hidden immunity idol.

Nikki: That was not your doing. That was Nathan!

Jessica: And I gave him reason for that the other night!

Nikki: You! If I could kick your ass, I would!!!!

Jessica: Why don’t you try!

WT A man in his thirties comes out from behind a boulder. Twice: I’d like to see that!

Nikki: What the heck? No I won’t!

WT Twice: You are the woman of my dreams!

Jesica: I am bored already.

WT Twice: Actually, you are really the woman of my dreams.

Nicky: Now that we cleared that up, we might better get a fire going.

Jessica: Always the practical one…

WT Twice* hands Jessica a flint* Here you go my tigress!

Nikki: It’s going to be cold soon.

Jessica: Not likely. *makes fire*

WT Twice: I could also keep you warm at night.*grins*

Nikki: Nice fire.

Jessica: I like it warm. *Winks*

Nikki: By the rate you are going, we should probably get tested for STDs pretty soon.

WT Twice: Ouch!

Jessica: No worries, I am extremely careful.

WT Twice: I want to believe, I want to believe!!!!

Nikki: Well, now that we have fire, we should start looking for that idol.

Jessica: I wonder if there are any clues for it here.

WT Twice: I wonder what you would do for those clues.

Nikki: Lets get to the bottom of this.

WT Twice: Don’t hurt me!

Jessica: *sings* you taste like honey, honey, can I be your honey bee?

Wt Twice: *shudders with anticipation*

Nikki: Nice song

Jessica: Yeah, nice potential too.

Nikki: Why didn’t you sing at karaoke night? I hated that.

WT Twice: I loved that!

Jessica: I was too busy making out with Sylar.

Nikki: Don’t remind me. Why on earth did you make me help him back there???

WT: Twice: Yeah that was not very smart.

Jessica: How the hell are you judging my decisions? Sylar promised me a spot on the final four.

WT Twice: Weren’t we just going in a completely different direction. *tries to kiss Jess*

Nikki: Like that is gonna happen.

Jessica: You have a point.

WT: Twice: But, but…

Nikki: My head hurts

Jessica: Let me massage you a bit.

WT Twice: Who? Me or her, I mean you?

Nikki: This is all getting very confusing. I think I will look for that idol later.

Jessica: I can multitask.

Nikki: If you say so.

WT Smms: Hey Twice! What are you doing there? You are not supposed to talk with the contestants? Get back here!  Twice: Dayum! *runs back*

Jessica: Yeah, but you know what? This is a really strange place.

Next day at tribe Unopusored:

Nathan: *Stretches and squints at the rising sun* Peter? Wanna go for a jog?

Peter: I’m still sleepy. Ask me again later.

Hiro: I will run with you.

Nathan: Ok, little guy, lets go.

Hiro: Was a joke. Hihi.

Peter: *Gets up, stretches, grins* Ok big bro, I am up now. *Runs*

Nathan: *Runs too*

Noah: Petrelli bro love. Yuck!

Sylar: We can stop that.

Haitian: Anyone want coffee?

Elle: How did you get that? *slurps greedy*

Haitian: Either you drink it, or you get an answer. You decide.

Noah: Nevermind her. *Drinks*

Matt: All I need now is a donut…. I mean, a real one.

Haitian: Look, there is Nikki coming back.

Nikki: *arrives.* Hi guys!

Noah: You are in a good mood. Did you find the idol?

Nikki: Maybe.

Noah: *grunts*

Nikki: It is a really interesting place, I tell you that much.

Sylar: See? Everything turned out for the better.

Nikki: *decks Sylar*

Elle: Holy shit!

Nikki: He had it coming.

Sylar: *rubs his cheek* You are so two-faced.

Noah: *has laughing fit*

Elle: Can you teach me that move Nikki?

Nikki: Sure. Might come in handy someday when you run out of sparks.

Elle: Not likely.

Noah: Or someone gets you in the shower.

Hiro: She would probably enjoy that.

Elle: What is it with you? Don’t you like girls?

Hiro: I like smart and pretty girls. You are neither.

Sylar: Burn!

Elle: *zaps Hiro* No, that is a burn.

Hiro: Ouch!

Nathan and Peter: *come back.*

Nathan: Oh hi Nikki! How was your stay on that island?

Nikki: Very interesting.

Noah: Why does Nathan always freaking decide who is safe from the votes? First he picks Peter then he picks Nikki.

Nathan: See this cool necklace man? That is an immunity idol. That’s why.

Hiro: *hums Bohemian Rhapsody* He made good decision bringing Peter.

Peter: Thanks.

Noah: I will go get some firewood.

Peter: I will help you.

Everyone: *Raises eye- and Sybrows*

In the woods:

Peter: *is hauling a lot of wood and bundling it up.*

Noah: Well, I guess I don’t need to do anything then…

Peter: I think you need to overthink who your friends are.

Noah: Whoah, you of all people want to strategize?

Peter: I am not as dumb as you think I am.

Noah: Not?

Peter: Shut it, or you will tapdance in two seconds.

Noah: Alright! I am listening.

Peter: You wanted to get rid of Matt the other day.

Noah: That thought may have crossed my mind…

Peter: But when it was time to vote, it wasn’t.

Noah: Yeah….

Peter: How do you think that happened?

Noah: I don’t know.

Peter: Now who is stupid here? Think!

Noah: You did NOT just say that to me.

Peter: *grins* Yes I did. Come on man, let me show you.

Peter:*squints and stares at Noah*

Noah: No way!!!

Peter: Way.

Noah: That really, man, that, wow, I am speechless.

Peter: Let’s head back. *heaves up the big bundle of firewood and walks off*

Noah: *stumbles behind*

At the challenge place
JP: Welcome tribe …what is your name now?

Hiro: Unopusored

JP: Hehe, I certainly hope not. Ahem, welcome back to your second individual immunity challenge.

Sylar: What does he mean, I certainly hope not?

Nikki:*shrugs* Probably an inside joke.

JP: First things first, Nathan please hand me back the immunity idol.

Nathan: *hands it back*

JP: Individual immunity, back up for grabs!

Sylar: Always with the stupid phrases…

Elle: *Eyes Nathan and Peter* I would like to grab something else.

Matt: Me too.

JP: Stop it!

Sylar: *giggles*

JP: Alright, for todays immunity challenge, you will have to use your brains and your brawns. And Nikki and Peter, you will be closely monitored to make sure that you will not engage your super strength.

Peter: He is always picking on me.

Noah: Gee, I wonder why.

Peter: But you agree, he IS picking on me.

JP: What you have to do is use these ready cut boulders to build a pyramid. There is only one way this pyramid will hold. First survivor who builds that pyramid, wins immunity.

Elle: What is a pyramid?

Haitian: *has a laughing fit*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And the survivors are at it! Hiro is circling the boulders and thinking. Noah is heaving one on top of the other. Peter is standing on one. How that should help is beyond me.

Elle is looking at what everybody else is doing. Matt apparently decided that this challenge is not for him and sits on the ground, whistleling. Nathan and Sylar are building and what they have so far is looking good.

Nikki is also getting started. Now Peter springs into action. Hiro is heaving now and straining. The Haitian is also putting some effort in. Sylar and Nathan are doing a great job.

Hiro: Stop that challenge! He cheats! He cheats!

JP: What? Who?

Hiro: Sylar, he cheats!

JP: Consider this challenge stopped! I want an explanation.

Sylar: Crap!

JP: Hiro, that is a serious accusation. Why do you say that?

Hiro: He uses just a little bit of TK. He has done before.

Peter: What the hell??? And I am being watched all the time!!!

JK: Sylar, is that true?

Sylar: Nope.

Hiro: He lies!

Sylar: You are so done, little man.

Hiro: I don’t care. You cheat!

Noah: I am not surprised. Well I am a bit that he got away with it.

JP: When did he cheat before?

Matt: Yeah, tell us.

Nathan: I guess we have to.

Sylar: It was almost nothing.

JP: What was?

Nathan: At the challenge when we had to move the float, Sy levitated it a bit.

Former Unopu members: *Unfair, cheaters, man, can that be true? Recount!

JP: I’ll be! That means we have to go back and remove every gain you got from it.

Nathan: We didn’t get any gain out of it. Mohinder made damn well sure that we didn’t.

JP: Huh?

Nathan: What do you think the whole dunkin’ Sy session was about?

Matt: Awwww, my little dunkin’ donut!

Peter: Matt!!!!

Matt: Sorry!

JP: I think I underestimated Momo.

Noah: Happens to the best.

JP: Noble guy. Anyway, that kinda changes things.

Nathan: No it shouldn’t.

JP: Why?

Nathan: Well, look at it this way. We all have our talents and abilities. You do too. You might be the one who can read the teleprompter the best, or who can add up 37 and 14 the fastest. But you also use your abilities to your best advantage. So do we. They are part of us. They are what makes us the way we are. I can’t change my ability just as I can’t change the color of my eyes. I have restrained myself to use it, but this what it is, a restraint.

JP: Yeah, but that would make it unfair.

Nathan: Life is unfair. And we have been playing by your rules almost to a fault. Peter could have won every challenge in the blink of an eye, so could have Hiro.

Peter: Damn straight, I could have! You really think so Nate?

Nathan: Yes I do, but please don’t interrupt me now.

Peter: Oh, ok.

Nathan: We are what we are and Sy here knows how to use his powers intuitively to his best advantage. That is how he is.

Hiro: Then why don’t I just go and stop time, finish mine and then win?

Matt: Because it would be pretty obvious if ladidah you stood in front of a finished piece.

Hiro: Hm, you got a point.

Nathan: Why don’t we all get back to the challenge and Sy has to start over from scratch. Would that be fairer?

JP: Lemme think about that one.

Sy: Thanks Nate.

Peter: 51!

Everyone: Huh?

Peter: I’m just saying…

JP: Ok, we thought about it. And actually Nathan’s suggestion is a good one. So we will dismantle Sylar’s pyramid and all you others can keep going from where they were. We will also watch Sylar very much so that won’t use TK. As for you all using your powers, we will have to come to a conclusion on that still.

Sylar: And what if I don’t want to start over?

JP: You will go home right now.

Sylar: I guess I will start over.

Nathan: Problem solved.

Elle: Can anyone please, please tell me what a pyramid is?

Hiro: It’s a three dimensional triangle.

Elle: Yeah, like that would help.

JP: OK, we are ready to restart this challenge. Survivors ready? Go!

JP: Nathan, Peter and Nikki are going smoothly with their building. Hiro seems to know how to do it, but the physical part is killing him. Matt and Elle are watching. The Haitian and Noah are also working, but slowly.

JP: And Sylar, wow, he has been going amazingly fast and he is really putting all his effort in. No TK and still he is gaining rapidly. As a matter of fact, Sylar has finished his pyramid! I can’t believe it. Immunity goes to Sylar!

Sylar: *pants* I knew I could do it.

Elle: Oh it looks like a cone, only not round.

Peter: You think?

Elle: Yeah, like that huge Madonna bra thing.

Peter: That was an image I really did not need.

Hiro: My back hurts.

JP: Sylar, get over here, get your necklace.

Noah: So what now? We let him have it?

Haitian: He won it fair and square.

Noah: Could you stop stabbing me in the back for once?

Matt: Oh, trouble in paradise?

Haitian and Noah: Shut up!

JP: Could I get a word in here? I still have something to say!

Nathan: Like what?

JP: Well we still have this cool island with the hidden immunity idol. And Sylar now can decide who will go there for a night and be safe from tribal council.

Peter: Ok, that really was something useful.

JP: Thanks. Wait…nevermind.

Sylar: I pick Nate.

Nikki: Nate, you will enjoy it. I am sure.

Matt: What is it with this island?

Nikki: *hums* You taste like honey…

On the hidden island

Nathan: *Steps on the island* This is a really crappy place. Why the hell was Nikki so happy?

Three girls come out from behind a boulder, looking lovely.

Nathan: OK, that looks more promising.

Jenna: Hi, I’m Jenna. These are Cato and Smms. We are NateTiggers.

Nathan: Hi Jenna. Hi, what were your names again?

Cato: You can call me cat!

Nathan: Cat, that is easy.

Smms: I’m Smms.

Nathan: Oh, I remember you! You are no vowel girl!

Smms: Yep, that’s me. *Grins*

Nathan: And what did you call yourselves:

NateTiggers: We are the NateTiggers!

Jenna: It means we are your biggest fans and…

Cato: …we bounce around a lot and…

Smms: …would love it if you could spend the evening with us!

Nathan: *Grins* Well, there is not much else to do is there?

Distant voice: Hmmmm!Grrrsmplmmmmmm!!!!

Nathan: What was that?

Jenna: Oh, nothing, just the wind….

Nathan: Okay….

Cato: Let’s show you our cool place!

Nathan: Do you have food?

Smms: Believe me, we have everything!

Nathan: Like what?

Jenna: Oh, we have food, wine, a shower, a hot tub, a massage place, you name it.

Nathan: *gets very excited*

Cato: It is this way…

Nathan: Yeah, just point me in the right direction.

Jenna: You are pretty good at pointing yourself.

Nathan: I can’t help it. You girls are just too enticing.

Jenna, Cato, Smms: *Grin*

Jenna: So what do you want to do first? Getting really dirty, or clean up?

Nathan: I think I will go for the shower and the hot tub first.

NateTiggers: We like that!

Nathan: I am sure I will be bouncing around a lot tonight!

The NateTiggers leave with Nate.

About 20 minutes later….

CMN: No fair! How dare they tie me up and gag me!!! I love Nathan!

Nathan!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At the tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council. You know how it goes.

Tribe Unopusored: *comes in, does the torch thing*

JP: Well, we have decided that we will not have blatant over use of powers, but we will forgive using them a little here and there. Is that ok?

Noah: Hm, can I have my gun then? It is part of what makes me, me.

JP: Nice try, but no.

Noah: *grumbles*

JP: Ok, Sylar, you have individual immunity. Wanna keep it or wanna give it to someone else?

Sylar: Are you bonkers?

JP: I take it you keep it then.

Sylar: Got that right.

JP: Nikki, if you should have the hidden immunity idol, you can use it after the vote.

Nikki: Okay.

Matt: *squints at Nikki*

Haitian: No my friend,*raises hand at Matt*

Matt: Ooops

JP: Matt, I am sure that was not proper.

Peter: Proper, what a positively prehistoric adjective. *says ‘proper’ a few times*

JP: Peter, did you get into the wine?

Peter: There is more wine?

JP: No…Stop confusing me.

Matt: He confused you?

JP: I was about to ask something. Where did it go?

Noah: I know that feeling

JP: Elle, how do you feel?

Elle: Huh?

Hiro: She is mathematically challenged.

Elle: I feel fine. And that was no math.

Noah: Geometry is a field of math.

Elle: Who needs it anyway?

Hiro: Architects, Engineers, Scientists in general, Landscapers, Dancers…

JP: I am sorry I asked. Moving on. Sylar, why did you give Nathan a free pass tonight?

Sylar: Because he saved my sweet behind.

JP: No ulterior motives?

Sylar: *raises Sybrows* No.

JP: Ok, let’s get ready to vote now. Matt, you are up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

JP: What, no stupid comment?

JP: Okay then. I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote: Haitian.

Second vote: Peter

That is one vote Haitian, one vote Peter.

Third vote: Haitian.

Fourth vote: Peter

That is two votes each.

Fifths vote: Haitian

Sixth vote: Peter

Seventh vote: Haitian

*Reads eighth vote*: The next person voted out of Survivor Heroes is the Haitian.
Haitian, bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Haitian: Well, that was unexpected.

JP: Okay, the rest of you can head on back to camp now.

Peter and Sylar: *TK the torches around.*

JP: What the hell???

Peter: You said we could play with our powers a bit.

Hiro: *teleports to camp*

JP: I think we need to work on the definition of ‘a bit’.

Voting slips for the Haitian vote:

Matt: (Parchment says Haitian) Yeah, sorry dude.

Hiro: (Parchment says Peter) You really are too strong.

Haitian: (Parchment says Peter) I don’t like Petrellicest.

Elle: (Parchment says Haitian) I hate you too!

Sylar: (Parchment says Peter) Time to break up the Bro love.

Nikki: (Parchment says Haitian) You creep me out.

Noah: (Parchment says Haitian) You used your freaking power on me!!!!!!

Peter: (Parchment says Haitian) *smiles, winks, puts finger on lips* Shhhh

Back at camp the next day

Noah: This is a nice group of people. Right size for a party.

Elle: Yeah, party!

Sylar: I could make frozen Martinis.

Matt: Why would anyone want their Martini frozen?

Sylar: I just want to play with my cool freezing ability.

Matt: Oh, I think making ice cubes would do just as well.

Nikki: Ice cubes, that gives me an idea.

Sylar: Me too. *Grins*

Peter: *Shakes head* Porny people.

Hiro: More P’s!

Elle: I don’t get it.

Hiro: *Giggles*

Matt: Ah, Nathan’s back!

Nathan: Hellloo countrymen!

Sylar: Now he is pulling a Cesar on us.

Peter: Wow, you look happy.

Nathan: *Grins*

Nikki: *Grins too*

Hiro: The way they look almost makes you want to lose.

Sylar: Almost…

Matt: *Squints at Nathan* Winnie the Pooh????

Nathan: Stay out of my head!

Matt: Is that all your family ever says to me?

Hiro: Nathan, tell me, what is this island all about?

Nathan: I guess it is different things to different people. It will always mean something connected with Winnie the Pooh to me.

Sylar: Weren’t we just about to organize a party?

Elle: Yes we were.

Nathan: You guys do that. I really need to catch up on my sleep.

Hiro: Ok, I will get karaoke machine!

Noah: Yeah, where is that thing? Haven’t seen it.

Hiro: I guess it still is at Pesored camp. *Teleports*

Peter: I guess I better help him carry it. *Teleports too*

Sylar: Do we really need the….

Hiro and Peter: *Teleport back*

Sylar: ….karaoke machine. Man, that was fast!

Hiro: We got it!

Nikki: We can see that.

Matt: Let him be happy.

Hiro: When do we start? When do we start?

Peter: We do it tonight. We still have to get food and supplies and such.

Noah: And a little thing called electricity for that machine….

Peter: Ooops, forgot the generator! *Teleports again.*

Later that day at camp

Nathan: Sy, could you get that tree trunk a little more over here? Yeah, that works.

Matt: I think I have enough pineapple cups for everyone.

Nikki: I have no idea what I should be wearing.

Sylar: Nothing would work.

Hiro: Generator is doing fine now.

Peter: I think I collected every fruit and root that is on this island.

Elle: Look, it’s JP! What is he doing here?

JP: That is what I was about to ask you guys.

Elle: What? Are you lost?

JP: No, I am not lost, I…. Forget it. What are you guys doing?

Nathan: Getting ready for a party.

Peter: A kickass party!

JP: But we did not tell you to have a party.

Sylar: So what?

JP: You can’t just go ahead and be happy! We did not schedule a party at this point.

Hiro: We are not in the mood to be miserable. You are the only one.

JP: How the hell did the karaoke machine get here? And the generator???

Nathan: Why don’t you watch the tape?

Noah: *Arrives from the bushes, dragging a net with numerous coconuts behind him*

Noah: What is pasty guy doing here?

Peter: Raining on our parade.

Noah: F you!!!

JP: Say that one more time and you get disqualified!

Nikki: Now he is po’d.

JP: Fact is, that you can’t have a party until I tell you so.

Matt: Then why don’t you tell us?

JP:……..I think you guys should have a party. ….Yeah, that would be good….Let me get some food and some wine for you….Yeah, I will do that.

Nathan: Thank you very much.

JP: *Leaves*

Matt: You’re welcome. *Grins*

Much, much later that evening…

Hiro: We had food, we had wine, now is singing time!!!

Peter: That was good wine. *Pours himself another cup*

Matt: Yeah I know, he went all out on us, didn’t he?

Hiro: *Gets the karaoke machine going*

Noah: Step away from the karaoke machine, I have waited for ages to get to it!

Hiro: Alright, you go first then!

Nikki: I wonder what he comes up with.

Nathan: I have a hunch…

Noah* gets started*:

I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

I’m too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I’m too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan

Nathan: Yep, just as I feared…

Noah: And I’m too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I’m disco dancing

Peter: And yet he is doing just that.

Noah: I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

Everyone: *hysterical laughter*

Noah: *keeps going and is taking his shirt of*

I’m too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I’m too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

‘Cos I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I’m too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy poor pussy cat
I’m too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love’s going to leave me

And I’m too sexy for this song

Peter: Being embarrassing must be a Bennet trait.

Nathan: Yeah, he and Claire make a point for nurture in the ‘Nature versus Nurture’ debate.

Elle: Debate? I thought we were singing?

Noah: My next song will be Sexyback!

Peter: You will wait your turn. Next up is Hiro.

Hiro: Yatta!!!

Sylar: There is that Y-word again.

Nikki: So what will it be for you?

Hiro: My song is dedicated to you. And my song will prove I am better than you think I am!

Nikki: Oh no!

Peter: *Giggles*

Matt: I don’t get it.

Peter: You were not there the other night…

Hiro*sings*:

Talk to me
Tell me your name
You blow me off like it’s all the same
You lit a fuse and now I’m ticking away
Like a bomb
Yeah, Baby

Talk to me
Tell me your sign
You’re switching sides like a Gemini
You’re playing games and now you’re hittin’ my
heart
Like a drum
Yeah, Baby

Well if Lady Luck gets on my side
We’re gonna rock this town alive
I’ll let her rough me up
Till she knocks me out
She walks like she talks,
And she talks like she walks

And she bangs, she bangs
Oh baby
When she moves, she moves
I go crazy
‘Cause she looks like a flower but she stings
like a bee
Like every girl in history
She bangs, she bangs

I’m wasted by the way she moves
No one ever looked so fine
She reminds me that a woman only got one thing on her mind

Sylar: Is he hitting on my girl?

Peter: You got that really fast!

Sylar: *slap*

Peter: Ouch!

Nikki: *laughs herself silly*

Hiro:
Talk to me
Tell me your name

Noah: Yeah, which name is it tonight, girl?

Hiro:
I’m just a link in your daisy chain
Your rap sounds like a diamond
Map to the stars
Yeah, Baby

Talk to me
Tell me the news
You wear me out like a pair of shoes
We’ll dance until the band goes home
Then you’re gone
Yeah, Baby

Well if it looks like love should be a crime
You’d better lock me up for life

Matt: I’ll get back to you on that one *Grins*

Hiro:
I’ll do the time with a smile on my face
Thinking of her in her leather and lace

Well if Lady Luck gets on my side
We’re gonna rock this town alive
I’ll let her rough me up
Till she knocks me out
She walks like she talks,
And she talks like she walks

Elle: Is he done yet?

Peter: That was mean.

Elle: I am better than him.

Nathan: What is it with you kids? It’s all about Me,me, me!!! Never taking a single moment to sympathize with other people! *Grumbles*

Sylar: I think he is having a senior moment.

Peter: *Zaps Sylar*

Sylar: Ouch!

Noah: The rate you two are going, we will have a smackdown by song four.

Peter: Maybe, but I will survive! *Chuckles*

Noah, Nathan and Matt: *Have laughing fit*

Elle: So, is it my turn now?

Matt: Yes it is. Give us your best.

Elle *sings*: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
Don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won’t have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door,
that’s the easy thing to do
I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too
Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegeterian
There’s lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I’d feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage
I can see me now on Christmas morning,
creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
when I open up my eyes
to see a hippo hero standing there
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles or rhinoceroseses
I only like hippopotamuseses
And hippopotamuses like me too!

Sylar: What the hell was that?

Peter: I am impressed! I didn’t know you knew how to say hippopotamus.

Elle: I….don’t.

Nathan: *has laughter tears in his eyes* Matt, stop!! I can’t take much more!

Matt: What?

Elle: You donut bumping meany, you!

Nikki: Elle, do you really think it is wise to challenge him more?

Peter: I think it is my turn now.

Sylar: What? You want to sing?? Last time we had Nate here practically begging on the floor before you got going.

Peter: Yeah well, things change. And besides, I need to get something out of my system.

Nikki: Now that sounds interesting…

Nathan: Woohoo Peter!!!!

Peter *sings*:

Loving you

Isn’t the right thing to do

How can I ever change things

That I feel

If I could

Maybe I’d give you my world

How can I

When you won’t take it from me

Elle: That sounds old.

Matt: Do you want another animal song or will you shut up now?

Elle: Okay, okay!

Peter*lets it all out*:

You can go your own way

Go your own way

You an call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

Go your own way

Sylar: What a welcoming song.

Peter:
Tell me why

Everything turned around

Packing up

Shacking up is all you wanna do

If I could

Baby I’d give you my world

Open up

Everything’s waiting for you

Hiro: These lyrics are confusing. Does he want her or not?

Nathan: He doesn’t!!!!!!!!!!

Peter:
You can go your own way

Go your own way

You an call it

Another lonely day

You can go your own way

go your own way

Nikki: mmmmmm Fleetwood Mac!

Matt: And a nice rendition too.

Noah: Yeah, but who was that about?

Nathan: Funny, you should be the one to ask that question.

Peter: I am good now.

Hiro: Can you teach me that song Peter? It makes good impression with the ladies.

Nathan: Why are you talking plural?

Nikki: I think we need a little more Fleetwood Mac. *gets up*

Sylar: oooooooo I like it!

Noah: Let’s have another round of wine first.

Peter: Her singing is really not that bad.

Noah: Yeah, but that wine is too good not to be drunk.

Peter: And that is what you are, drunk.

Sylar: How come, you are not drunk?

Peter: I am a little tipsy.

Matt: Tipsy, great word. Fits you to a T. TTTTT..tipsy.

Nathan: Matt is beyond tipsy.

Matt: Shhhhh

Sylar: Yeah, we all are. Besides Peter.

Peter: Yeah well, being instantly self healing has its perks.

Sylar: Speaking of perks, Nikki? What about your song?

Nikki: Sweetums, this one is especially for you.

Nikki *sings*:

If I could turn the page

In time then I’d rearrange just a day or two

Close my, close my, close my eyes

Hiro: Hehe, I can do that.

Nathan: Shhh, we know.

Nikki:
But I couldn’t find a way

So I’ll settle for one day to believe in you

Tell me, tell me, tell me lies

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)

Oh, no, no you can’t disguise

(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)

Sylar: *Raises sybrow*

Nikki:
Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

Although I’m not making plans

I hope that you understand there’s a reason why

Close your, close your, close your eyes

No more broken hearts

We’re better off apart let’s give it a try

Tell me, tell me, tell me lies

Peter: Dude, she is giving him the boot!

Noah: I don’t think so.

Matt: Why?

Noah: She is such a tease.

Nathan: You seem to know her pretty well then.

Noah: Not like you do. *Grins* But I know her file.

Nikki:
Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

(Tell me lies, tell me, tell me lies)

Oh, no, no you can’t disguise

(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

Sylar: Who cares about the lyrics, she’s sexy!

Hiro: Agreed!

Elle: I need more wine.

Nikki:
Oh, no, no you can’t disguise

(You can’t disguise, no you can’t disguise)

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

(Tell me, tell me lies)

Peter: That was nice!

Nathan: You brought back great memories!

Matt: Why do you Petrellis get all the girls all the time? And I am stuck with stupid Janice.
Peter: Nathan, what about you? You have not made one lurch for the mic yet.

Nathan: I am in a contemplative mood tonight. Besides, we did our crown jewel already.

Peter: Awww, man I know you have it in you.

Nathan: Let’s get Matt on first, before he passes out like a dog.

Noah: Yes! Mindbender, show us what you’ve got!

Matt: Hehe, I got a lot! *lifts up his shirt*

Elle: Was that really necessary?

Nikki: What do you know about attractive men. *blows kiss to Matt*

Matt: Now that is what I like to see!

Sylar: I though he wasn’t into that kinda thing anymore?

Peter: Apparently he is.

Matt *sings*:

Give ’em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle ’em
Give ’em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give ’em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather ’em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?

What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you’re just disgusting?

Razzle dazzle ’em
And they;ll never catch wise!

Give ’em the old Razzle Dazzle

Noah: Truer words were never spoken!

Matt:
Razzle dazzle ’em
Give ’em a show that’s so splendiferous
Row after row will crow vociferous

Elle: That is at least three words that I don’t understand…

Matt:
Give ’em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture ’em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

Throw ’em a fake and a finagle
They’ll never know you’re just a bagel,

Sylar: Or a donut…

Matt:
Razzle dazzle ’em
And they’ll beg you for more!

Nathan: Aren’t you supposed to hold up the legal system? I mean being an officer of the law and all?

Matt:
Give ’em the old double whammy
Daze and dizzy ’em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler

Give ’em the old three ring circus
Stun and stagger ’em
When you’re in trouble, go into your dance

Though you are stiffer than a girder

Peter: You are what?

Matt:
They’ll let you get away with murder
Razzle dazzle ’em
And you’ve got a romance

Give ’em the old
Razzle Dazzle

Give ’em the old Razzle Dazzle
Razzle dazzle ’em
Show ’em the first rate sorcerer you are
Long as you keep ’em way off balance
How can they spot you’ve got no talent
Razzle Dazzle ’em

Razzle Dazzle ’em
Razzle Dazzle ’em

And they’ll make you a star!!!

Nikki: Wow, Matt got the moves!

Matt: Yeah, but my back is killing me now! *Groans*

Nathan: Alright, my turn!

Nikki: Come on Natey, make me swoon!

Nathan: *Grins*

Peter: Look at him going all hunk on her!

Sylar: If he keeps that up, he will end his life as a hobo.

Matt: Don’t be a twerp, let the man sing.

Sylar: Ok, ok!

Nathan *sings*:

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

Elle: What kind of a song is this?

Sylar: A hippie song. Pretty soon he will grow a Pasbeard.

Elle: What’s a Pasbeard?

Sylar: Something only Nate here can grow.

Nathan:
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
in these small hours,
these small hours still remain

Peter: I love this song!

Noah: He is really a light of peace, isn’t he?

Peter: So what is wrong with that? You are such a schmuck!

Matt: Yeah! Love and peace is really not appreciated here!

Noah: Matt, why don’t you fondle your moobs and leave me alone?

Matt: That was so not called for!

Nathan *loudly*:

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end

Nikki: Awwwwww

Nathan and Peter *sing*:
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
in these small hours,
these small hours still remain

Sylar: Here we go again with the Petrellicest…

Hiro: What happened?

Peter: What do you mean, what happened?

Hiro: I think I fell asleep.

Sylar: No more wine for the dwarf.

Hiro: That was bad, even for you!

Nikki: Yeah, leave Hiro alone! He is a great guy!

Hiro: *Grins*

Noah: Hey Sylar, instead of abusing other cultures, how about you just sing.

Matt: I am sure he doesn’t even know a song.

Sylar: Just wait a sec. *Grabs a tree trunk and pulls it up, sits down with one knee up, puts out his arm and snips once*

Elle: What is this supposed to mean?

Sylar: I am positioning myself for my song.

Peter: I thought he was propping himself up because he is too drunk to stand.

Elle: Hihi.

Sylar *sings*:

Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that’s so hard to bear

You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night.

Nikki: *Snips fingers along.* Man, that is hot!

Sylar:
Sun lights up the daytime
Moon lights up the night
I light up when you call my name
And you know I’m gonna treat you right

You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night

Ev’rybody’s got the fever
that is something you all know
Fever isn’t such a new thing
Fever started long ago

Noah: That reminds me of a night in Soho a long time ago, when…

Matt: Shhhhh!

Sylar:
Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her
He said ‘Julie, baby, you’re my flame
Thou giv-est fever when we kisseth
Fever with thy flaming youth

Elle: Kisseth????

Nathan: Let me guess, you never even heard of Shakespeare.

Elle: Shake beer????

Nathan: Forget it.

Sylar:
Fever I’m afire
Fever yea I burn for sooth’

Captain Smith and Pocahontas
Had a very mad affair
When her daddy tried to kill him
She said ‘Daddy, o, don’t you dare

Peter: Sounds like something our Noah bear here would do…

Noah: Hehe. Wait? Bear?

Peter: Yeah, you little badass wubby you!

Noah: Are you sure you can’t get drunk?

Sylar:
He gives me fever with his kisses
Fever when he holds me tight
Fever, I’m his misses,
Oh daddy, won’t you treat him right’

Elle: He is the misses??

Peter: No, Pocahontas is.

Nathan: Don’t even try…

Elle: Who is Pocahontas?

Nathan: See?

Peter: Got ya bro.

Sylar:
Now you’ve listened to my story
Here’s the point that I have made
Cats were born to give chicks fever
Be it Fahrenheit or centigrade

Nikki: Damn straight!

Sylar:
They give you fever when you kiss them
Fever if you live and learn
Fever till you sizzle

Matt: I love things that sizzle…

Sylar:
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn
What a lovely way to burn

Nikki: Come here you! That was smoking!

Hiro: Ok, who is next?

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Peter: I think we all did one song.

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Nikki: And you guys did an awesome job.

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Noah: Good god girl, you sound like a broken record!

Elle: Me, me, I wanna sing!

Nathan: Better let her, or she’ll never shuts up.

Sylar: She’ll suck anyways.

Matt: Nah, she wants to suck, but she can’t. *Grins*

Elle: *Grabs the mic*

Noah: I’ll get me some more wine…

Nathan: Make it a round.

Elle sings:

Fame!
I’m gonna live for ever
I’m gonna learn how to fly
I’m gonna make it to heaven
Baby remember my name!

Peter: Live forever? Check. Fly? Check. Hehe, girl I have what you want.

Elle:
Baby look at me and tell me what you see
You ain’t seen the best of me yet

Nathan: I don’t wanna see no more…

Elle:
Give me time, I’ll make you forget the rest
I got more in me, and you can set it free
I can catch the moon in my hand
Don’t you know who I am?

Remember my name, Fame!
I’m gonna live forever
I’m gonna learn how to fly – high!
I feel it comin’ together .
People will see me and cry. Fame!

Sylar: They already do.

Elle:
I’m gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame. Fame!

Peter: Been there, done that.

Elle:
I’m gonna live forever
Baby remember my name
Remember, remember, remember, remember, remember,
remember, remember, remember

Matt: Hehe, if West was still here he would be going: Elle, Elle, Elle, her name is Elle.

Everyone: *Has laughing fit.*

Peter: I thought you liked your little donut?

Matt: I love him to pieces, shortcomings and all.

Elle:
Baby hold me tight, ’cause you can make it right.
You can shoot me straight to the top.
give me love and take all I got to give
Baby, I’ll be tough. Too much is not enough, no
I can ride your heart ’till it breaks,
Ooh, I got what it takes

Fame!

Hiro: You wish.

Nikki:*high fives Hiro*

Noah: I think, yeah, I think I will sing one more…

Nathan: Woah, big guy, don’t fall!

Noah: I, I am not afalling. *Thunk*

Sylar: No you’re already down.

Hiro: Good that I moved away in time. Phew!

Noah:*Crawls to the mic and sits down*

Nikki: Maybe we should put a stop to this.

Elle: No, this is funny!

Sylar: Yeah, it is.

Peter: If the man wants to sing, let the man sing.

Noah*sings*:

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
Don’t let yourself go, ’cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Peter: And they say I’m emo….

Noah:
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it’s time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)

Nathan and Matt: *Take small branches, light them in the campfire and wave them around*

Noah:
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

Elle: Why are there only sappy old men here?

Sylar: I am neither.

Elle: Yeah, but you are just mean and hairy.

Sylar: Women love my Sybrows!

Hiro: Ahhh, watch where you swing that thing!

Noah:
‘Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand
If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

Peter: Unless you are a badass like the man himself.

Nathan: The soul of a hitman is a dark, dark place.

Matt: Or so it seems.

Noah:
If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

Nikki: Is he crying?

Peter: Nah, that’s just wine. He was not so focused on his mouth anymore.

Nikki: Oh, ok.

Noah *is positively wailing now*:
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

Hiro: If he keeps going, he will break machine.

Nathan: I think he is done now.

Noah: *conks over, snores*

Peter: I think we need something fast to wake everybody up.

Nathan: But I have a lighted tree stick here. What am I supposed to do with it?

Sylar: Stick it up your…

Matt: We could poke Sy with it.

Nikki: Peter, you got something fast and sexy?

Peter: Always!

Elle: Aren’t you a bit full of yourself?

Hiro: He is good guy. He can be full.

Nathan: Go ahead, little bro. I will find a place to put my stick.

Peter: *Raises eyebrow*

Nikki: Less talking, more singing!

Peter: *puts mic on stand, stands behind it, grabs micstand*

Hiro: Oooo, showtime!

Peter *sings*:

I found out
On a late night drive
In my winter coat
With my blood-shot eyes
My faith ain’t been
No friend of me
And the way I sin
Is hanging off of me

Nikki: That…is…hot!

Peter:
And I’m sorry
You can’t take me anywhere
Pretty soon we’re almost there
Baby, one more night
It’s been a long, long drive
And I’m way, way tired
I don’t need no
Back-up plan

I don’t want nobody
Nobody don’t want me
I’m so sad so lonely
But I’m always landing on my feet

Nathan: If I could still stand, I would be dancing.

Hiro: *hops up and down*

Peter:
One more time
With a sad, sad smile
And your white bread friends
In the circus life
All the one-way rides
The sweet beginners
Passing on the left-hand side
With a sideways smile

Sylar: Funny, he would sing about a sideways smile…

Peter:
And I’m always
One step from stalling
Bad trips can make great stories
Dance all night
With your ass on fire
And your hands up high
And feel me one more time

Matt: Is he singing about what I think he is singing?

Nathan: You tell me.

Elle: Ewwwww

Peter:
I don’t want nobody
Nobody don’t want me
I’m so sad so lonely
But I’m always landing on my feet

Nathan: Flight lessons from big bro…

Peter:
I learn to love myself
And I don’t need no one else
And when a love moves on
Cuz it gets cold
Then another love moves in
And it can fill the hole

Matt: That erased my last doubt.

I’m one more
Hopeful lying on the bedroom floor
No sense trying
When the whole thing drops
You lose your nerve
I hope you get what you deserve

Sylar: Everybody will. *Grins*

Peter:
I don’t want nobody
Nobody don’t want me
I’m so sad so lonely
But I’m always landing on my feet

Nikki: That was amazing!

Sylar: You have been flirting with all the guys all night!

Peter: Someone is getting jealous. *Grins*

The very next day at camp Unopusored at 6 am sharp.

JP: God morning everyone! Rise and shine for your next immunity challenge!

Noah: *Yawns* You can’t be serious! *Blinks several times*

Nathan: Go away!

JP: Nikki, Sylar, Hiro! Wake up time!

Hiro: *Grabs around.* Where are my glasses?

Nikki (who is comfortably wedged between Sylar and Nathan): Nikki is not here. Go away.

Matt: *Groans* Please everyone stop singing ‘La cucaracha’

JP: No one is singing. Not today. *Grins* But that song was on the radio about a minute ago.

Matt: Oh shit! I wondered where that accordion came from.

JP: Peter, come on, challenge time!

Peter: *Yawns, stretches, ruffles his hair and gets up.*

Hiro: Nikki, why are my glasses in your, your, your outfit?

Nikki: *Grabs them out of her bra.* I don’t know. For safekeeping?

Hiro: Peter, do you know why my glasses were where they were?

Peter: No man, I went to sleep like a good little boy.

Matt: Ahhhh! Why does it have to be a Spanish station? I don’t speak Spanish.

JP: Are you telling me that you pick up radio stations in your head when you have a hangover? *Guaffs*

Matt: Yeah, why don’t you make fun of me?

JP: That could actually keep you entertained during our challenge.

Matt.: No way. I need to go back to sleep, or I’ll go crazy.

Nathan: Putting on a challenge right now is really mean.

JP: *Grins*

Noah: Quit whining. Be a man!

Peter: *Sings softly* Everybody hurts, sometime.

JP: Where is Elle?

Peter: Somewhere in that tree over there.

JP: Why?

Peter: You gotta ask Sylar. He put her there.

JP: Ok, Sylar! Sylar!!!!!

Sylar: Huh?

JP: Two things, why is Elle in that tree and we need the immunity idol back.

Sylar: Elle? Oh, yeah, it seemed like a good idea….*Snores*

JP: Sylar!!!!!!

Sylar: What?

JP: The idol!!!

Sylar: Oh, it’s on that pole over there. *Tk’s it over to JP.*

JP: *Ducks under a flying frying pan.* Don’t bother Sylar, I’ll get it myself.

Nikki: *Snuggles*

JP: All right, todays challenge is a simple standing challenge. You will stand on a pole. The survivor who stands the longest time will win immunity.

Nathan: There is not one part of me that is able to stand at this moment.

Noah: That was more detailed than we needed to know.

JP: Ok, who is with me? Everyone who doesn’t get up now, automatically forfeits their chance.

Peter: I’m here.

Noah: I am ready.*Wobbles and rubs his eyes*

Hiro: I try. *Blinks many times, shakes his head* Ouch.

Everyone else: *Snores*

Down by the beach a little bit later

JP: Ok, simple challenge. Step on, stay on. If your feet leave the platform, you lose.

Noah: That is not a platform. That is a dinner plate.

Hiro: You are just big foot.

Noah: Who are you calling Bigfoot?

Peter: *Swims out to pole and gets on platform.*

Hiro and Noah: *Follow*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: Peter is getting his feet around the platform and hugs the pole. Hiro is standing on the edge of the platform with very little room and has the pole in the back. Noah is having trouble holding on to the pole. He is sliding up and down on it a bit. Now he’s got it. But I doubt he can keep his back arched out for long.

Noah: Let that be my problem.

Peter: This is actually nice. I like the gentle breeze.

Hiro: I’m dizzy.

Peter: Close your eyes.

Hiro: I tried that. Makes me more dizzy.

Noah: *Sways*

A little while later….

Hiro: *Sings softly* Hakunat Matata, what a wonderful phrase…

Noah: Stop it!

Hiro: Leave me alone. I am trying to go to my happy place!

Peter: *Chuckles*

Noah: Hey JP, how many hours have we been on here?

JP: That would be 7 minutes.

Noah: Oh, that long. *Slides into a crouch.*

Hiro: I can’t find happy place. *Slides off the pole.*

JP: Ok, that’s it for Hiro. Great job coming out and participating!

Noah: I..will.. do… this!

Peter: *Whistles*

A little while later…

Peter: JP, I think you guys should check on Noah, he is all glassy eyed.

JP: Noah! Noah!!!!!

Noah: Huh? No, it is not my turn for carpool!

JP: Are you awake?

Noah: Sure I am. Peanut butter!

Peter: He is delirious.

JP: What makes you an expert all of a sudden?

Peter: Hello? RN!

JP: Oh , I forgot.

Peter: So does everyone else until they get sick.

Noah: I hate ballet!

Hiro (from the shore): I love it!

Noah:*Lifts one leg in the air, stands on one leg on the platform and looks at the open sea.*

JP: What are you doing?

Hiro: I think he is being a pirate.

Noah: *Loses his balance and falls off the pole.*

JP: And with that, Peter wins this immunity challenge. Not that it is a big surprise, but hey.

Peter: Dude, he is not coming up.

JP: Oh shit!

Peter: *Jumps after Noah, pulls him out of the water and carries him to shore.*

Hiro: Does anybody know CPR?

Peter: No, I just really want to kiss the guy.*Does CPR*

Noah: *Sputters, coughs, hits around himself wildly.*

JP: Are you alright?

Noah: What? Did I win?

JP: Nope, Peter did.

Noah: Man!

Hiro: He also saved your life!

Noah: He has this people saving complex.

Peter: A simple ‘thank you’ would have been too much, wouldn’t it?

Noah: Erm, well, hm, thank you.

JP: OK, now that we have established that you are all fine, let’s move on.

Hiro: Huh? Move?

JP: Peter, here is the immunity idol. And now you will have to send one of the tribe members to the secluded island. But only those who have not forfeit.

Peter: So either Noah or Hiro.

Noah: Quick as a whistle…

Peter: *Zaps Noah*

Noah: Ouch!

JP: So?

Peter: Do I have to?

JP: Yes.

Peter: Alright. Hiro goes to the island.

Hiro: Yatta!!!!

JP: Good, Hiro, come with me and you two head back to camp.

Peter: *Flies off*

Noah: Show off. *Walks slowly back.*

Much, much later that day at camp Unopusored

Matt: Thank god, that static is over…

Nikki: I think I need to go talk with…I think I need to get some more water….

Nathan: I could use some headache medicine right now. Maybe one tablet, or two, or three, or four, or five…

Elle: Who the hell put me in that tree?

Noah: You have three guesses…

Elle: Could have been anybody.

Noah: Yeah, right, you are absolutely right.

Sylar: It was me, little spark plug. Why do you wanna know?

Elle: I hate you so much!!!

Sylar: I love you!

Elle: You do?

Sylar: *Snickers and goes to wash up*

Matt: Where is Peter?

Noah: I think he is still zooming around the mountain.

Nathan: Ah, I think I should join him.

Matt: *Giggles*

Nathan: What are you giggling for?

Matt: I was just wondering if all of your parts were ready to stand again…

Nathan: Very funny, Mr. Human antenna.

Sylar:*Comes back* So, will there be a tribal council tonight?

Noah: Yep.

Sylar: So, Peter has immunity and Hiro is off to that island. *Scratches head* OK.

Matt: I don’t wanna think today.

Nikki: *Comes back* I am, how should I say. Hm. I better don’t say anything.

Nathan: We love you too.

All the men: *Snicker*

Elle: I wish, West was still here…

Noah: We know.

Matt: West is MINE!

Elle: That is just ewwwwww.

Matt: I am hotter than you are. Even Noah said so.

Noah: I did?

Matt: Maybe not in so many words…

Noah: Oh, I remember. I do think yours are a bit bigger than hers.

Sylar: Her what?

Matt: Eyebrows, we are talking about eyebrows.

Sylar: No you’re not.

Noah: That’s right. We are not.

Elle: Just eff off, all of you.

Nathan: *Flies off*

At the tribal council grounds
JP:Welcome guys to tribal council!

Tribe Unopusored: *Walks in, does the torch thing*

JP: Please welcome the first member of our jury, the Haitian.

Haitian: *Walks in, sits down*

JP: As you know, members of the jury are here to observe only. There will be no talking with the jury.

Sylar: I bet he has a hard time containing himself.

JP: So, how does it feel to not be able to participate in a challenge, Sy?

Sylar: *Silence*

JP: Sylar?

Sylar: Oh that. That was not my thing anyway. Too boring.

JP: It turned out to be quite dramatic, with Noah almost drowning and all.

Nathan: He what?

Noah: Is there nothing that can be kept confidential here? You are all blabbermouths.

Elle: I would have liked to see that!

Sylar: So, who saved you?

Noah: Erm…

Peter: He saved himself.

JP: Peter, why would you say that?

Nathan: *Ruffles Peter’s hair.* Because he is humble like that.

Sylar: Or too stupid to let nature take it’s course.

Nikki: OK, next time you are in the water, I keep that in mind.

Matt: I will never get drunk again.

Peter: Aww, come on, you were doing such a beautiful job razzeling and dazzeling us.

Matt: That part was fun, but that radio stuff was brutal.

Noah: Are we done with reminiscing yet? I wanna vote!

JP: We might as well. Nikki, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Noah: And join the jury. That is the screwed up part.

Nathan: Thanks for that explanation, we would have never known otherwise.

Noah: You are turning into quite the little punk.

Nathan: *Laughs himself silly*

JP: I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote, Elle.

JP: Second vote, Sylar.

JP: Third vote, Elle

JP: Fourth vote, Sylar.

JP: Fifths vote, Elle.

JP: Sixths vote, Elle

JP:*Reads last vote* Next person voted out of survivor is Elle. Elle, please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Elle: *Brings torch*

JP: *Snuffs it out*

Elle: *Zaps it back on*

JP: *Snuffs it out again.* Girl, we can do this all night long, you are still gone.

Elle: *Leaves*

JP: The rest of you, go back where you came from.

Nathan: Don’t tempt me. A night in the mansion sounds mighty nice right now.

Sylkar: Lucky rich kid.

Matt: *Groans* I think I need a ride, Nate.

Nathan: You are a backache-inducing mountain. I’ll pass.

Nikki: What? He did give you a ride before? *Snickers*

Peter: *Grabs Matt by the shoulder and teleports.*

Noah: I hate super powers.

Voting slips for the Elle vote:

Nikki: (Parchment says Elle) I am woman enough for this tribe. *Grins*

Sylar: (Parchment says Elle) You had your chance, spark plug. You should have come round.

Noah: (Parchment says Sylar) Why are you still here anyways?

Peter: (Parchment says Elle) Wrong alliance, babe. *Winks*

Elle: (Parchment says Sylar) That was the last time you put me in a tree.

Matt: (Parchment says Elle) We should have done this ages ago.

Nathan: (Parchment says Elle) I will so not miss you.

The next day at camp Unopusored.

Noah: This is a much better day! *Stretches*

Sylar: Looks like it’s gonna rain.

Noah: So what? Can’t take a little precipitation?

Sylar: Whatever.

Nathan: I was so expecting Elle to ask what that is… *Grins*

Peter: Yeah, but would you have told her?

Nathan: Maybe…

Nikki: There comes Hiro.

Peter: Hehe, look at his shirt.

Matt: Look at his hair!

Hiro: What?

Noah: You look just a little roughed up.

Hiro: Let me assure you, I am fine. *Grins*

Nathan: I believe you.

Hiro: I am Hiro and I have a lover!

Nathan: Just one?

Noah: TMI! The both of you!

Hiro: So, what did I miss?

Peter: Elle got voted off.

Hiro: Good

Matt: Could anybody make some food? I am hungry.

Peter: Why don’t you cook for once?

Matt: I am not the cooking type.

Sylar: No, you are the eating type.

Matt: *Squints at Sylar*

Sylar: *Does back flips*

Peter: Impressive!

Sylar: Stop it!!!

Matt: Ok *Chuckles*

Hiro: Noah, are you feeling better?

Noah: I am fine!

Peter: He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Hiro: What? He sensitive now?

Nathan: Hey Nikki, I feel like going on a float ride. Wanna come with?

Nikki: Sure!

Nathan and Nikki: *Leave*

Sylar: What was that all about?

Peter: Once the girls have tasted sweet Petrelli lovin’ they’ll never go back.*Grins*

Two days later at the challenge location

JP: Welcome to the next challenge

Nikki, Noah, Matt and Sylar: *Walk in*

JP: Where are Nathan, Peter and Hiro?

Noah: They were still sleeping when we left camp.

Nathan: *Flies in*

Sylar: Some of these days they’ll shot you down.

Nathan: *Shrugs*

JP: That leaves Hiro and Peter.

Hiro: *Pops up*

Peter: *Pops up*

JP: Ahh!

Noah: You should have never allowed them to use those powers.

Hiro: You are just jealous.

JP: First things first. Peter, can I please get the immunity idol?

Peter: *Hands it over*

JP: Immunity, back up for grabs.

Sylar: And eternally speaks the teleprompter…

JP: Let’s get to the challenge. In this challenge you will not do one thing, except for picking a proxy.

Everyone: What???

JP: Well, we have a number of rejects that we never used. You get to pick one of them. Then you get to train them for a couple of hours and let them do the challenge for you.

Matt: That sounds seriously screwed up.

JP: That is why it’s fun!

Hiro: Who is it?

JP: Tailies and such.

Matt: OK

Hiro: What’s a taily?

Nathan: Not someone you want to trust your chances in. Believe me.

JP: Now guys, you will draw some string and the one with the longest string gets to pick first, followed by the next shorter one until the shortest string.

Tribe:*Does just that*

JP: Now welcome our proxies: Monika, Maya, Alejandro, Brody, Zach, Heidi and Caitlin.

JP: Sylar, who do you pick?

Sylar: Monica!

Monica: Sweet!

JP: Noah?

Noah: Brody! That bitch is mine!

Brody: What am I doing here? Who are those people??

JP: Nikki?

Nikki: I think I’ll go with Zach.

Zach: Are you one of those weird chicks too?

Nikki: You have no idea.

JP: Nathan?

Nathan: Heidi. How can I not pick my wife?

Heidi: I’ll remind you when this thing airs.

Nathan: Shit!

JP: Hiro?

Hiro: I take the girl.

JP: There are two girls left.

Hiro: There are?

JP: Which one do you pick?

Hiro: *Points.*

JP: Maya, go over to Hiro.

JP: Matt?

Matt: I take the dark one.

JP: Alejandro, go over to Matt.

JP: Peter, that leaves you with Caitlin.

Peter: It’s ok.

Caitlin: What do you mean? OK? I am your freaking girlfriend!

Peter: Where is the Haitian when you need him?

About 3 hours later:

JP: Well survivors and proxies, come back in from your training sessions.

Maya: He is cute, he did not make me cry.

Hiro: I wanna live.

Brody: Mama!!!!! I wanna go home!!!!!

Noah: Suck it up!

Alejandro: That is called a training session?

Matt: I didn’t do anything! I swear!

Heidi: *scoffs*

Nathan: That was the longest argument I ever had. And I am a politician.

Monika: Too bad you guys don’t have a TV here.

Sylar: I showed you all the moves you need, baby.

Zach: I saw some cool moves too.

Nikki: Told ya.

Caitlin: Jeff is it true that contestants are forbidden to make out with each other?

Peter: *Squints and stares at JP for all it’s worth*

JP: Why? Oh, yeah, totally.

Brody: *cries*

JP: Let’s get to the challenge. We have put together elements of your former challenges and combined them. The proxy who finishes the challenge first, wins immunity for his or her survivor and a full day at camp Unopusored.

Peter (*whispers to Nathan*): Somehow I really don’t want to win anymore.

Nathan(*whispers back*): Me neither.

JP: Survivor proxies ready? Go!

JP: And they are off! Monika taking the lead on the balance beams. Followed by Brody who seems to do anything to get away from Noah as quickly as possible. Next are Alejandro, Zach and Maya. Heidi is also making headway, although she does not look happy at all. Last is Caitlin who is humming a song while balancing over the beam.

JP: Next up are the Food items. Two fried spiders, and one fried locust to be exact.
Here we have Maya and Alejandro taking the lead. They seem hungry. Monika is finniky, but she gets to it. Brody wolfs down what he sees. Zach fidgets, but yes, he’s got it. Heidi and Caitlin do a good job there too. They even manage to make up time.

Noah: Brody! Brody! Brody!

Matt: I think that scares him , dude.

Noah: It should.

JP: Here we are at the archery challenge. And Monika hits the target right away. Heidi really caught up and does an excellent shot at the bullseye.

Nathan: I can guess what she imagined there…

JP: Maya and Alejandro hit the target, but not the bullseye. Zach gets a decent shot in. Caitlin hits a bullseye too. Brody misses.

Noah: Argh!

JP: Now we are at the puzzle station. Monika solves her puzzle and can move on. Maya and Alejandro are …well… puzzled. Brody stares forlorn at a nearby tree. Zach and Heidi have figured it out. Caitlin is swearing, loudly.

JP: At the last station, the rope net, are now Monika, who has scaled almost half of it, Heidi and Zach. Zach is making up time, but Monika is already out. And now she is running up the platform and wins immunity!!!!!

Monika: WOOOHOO! WOOOHOOO! This is so COOL!

Sylar: Good girl!

JP: Here you go Sylar; Your immunity idol.

Sylar: Thanks!

JP: So Sylar, who will go to the island ?

Sylar: I think Peter deserves a little R & R.

Peter: Why?

JP: Alright. Proxies, thanks for playing, you will be escorted home now. Monika, you’ll stay one day at camp. Survivors, head back to camp, Peter, you go on the island.

Caitlin: Can I go with on the island?

Peter: Hell, no!

Later that day at camp Unopusored

Nikki: Hey Monika girl! How come you got stuck with all the tailies?

Monika: Beats me. They were a miserable bunch.

Noah: Don’t remind us!

Hiro: What the hell is a taily??? I did not see tails on any of them!

Matt: If you fly on a plane. The guys sitting in front are the cool table and the guys in the back aren’t. They are the tailies.

Hiro: Why?

Matt: Because it was decided about 2 years ago that this is the way it is. And another thing, the coolest of all is the pilot.

Hiro: Oh, ok. I was so lost before.

Noah: So what is your super power anyway, girl?

Sylar: What? You don’t know her file?

Noah: I might. But why don’t you let her talk?

Monika (proudly): I can mimic everything everyone else can do.

Nathan: *Gets up, flies a loop around the camp site, sits down again.* Can you do that?

Monika: Erm, no.

Nathan: Then you might want to modify your claim there a bit.

Monika: Is he always so grouchy?

Nikki: No, he just saw his wife, cut him some slack.

Monika: Oh, ok.

Matt: What was that thing, Peter was with?

Noah: That is what happens when the Haitian oversteps his limits.

Matt: Huh?

Noah: Poor guy had his taste neurons fried for a while.

Matt: Was the Haitian around when I married Janice?

Noah: I can check that for you.

Sylar: Hey Hiro, how was your time with goo face?

Hiro: Well, mostly she talked about how she wants to off you. She has all these weird schemes going.

Sylar: Yeah, that’s not gonna work.

Hiro: Not if she is by herself, no.

Sylar: What do you mean?

Hiro: *Grins*

Matt: I let her brother cook for me. His food was not half bad…

Monika: I am so excited to be here! Can we party? Can we? Can we?

Hiro: Please, not another excited teenager!!!

Nikki: We have tribal council coming up. No party tonight.

Monika: Awwww.

White text:

On the hidden island

Peter: Arrives on the island.* He stands on the beach and looks around.*

A woman with long red hair comes out from behind a boulder.

Peter: It is you! How have you been? I haven’t seen you since Christmas! *Smiles and walks toward the woman.*

HFM: Took you a long time to get out here. *Smiles, holds out her hand*

Peter: You know, I have this game to play.*takes her hand and walks with her*

HFM: I know honey, I know.

HFM and Peter: *Walk along the beach and…

…..the next 8 pages are strictly censored.

At tribal council

JP: Welcome to tribal council. Monika, you need to go over there. You are not part of the tribe.

Monika: Yeah, yeah, taily, I know.

Sylar: But a cute one. *Winks*

JP: Please light your torches. In this game, fire means life. If your torch is gone, so are you.

Noah: What was that for?

JP: Yes, I got to say it!!!

Noah: The things you count as victories. *Shakes head, lights torch.*

JP: Please welcome the members of our jury. The Haitian and Elle who was voted out at the last tribal council.

Sylar: Dude, we were there.

Hiro: I wasn’t. Oh, yeah it is obvious…

Elle: *Sits down on the Jury bench and then zaps all the remaining players*

Everyone: Ouch! Bitch! Why you!

JP: Elle!

Elle: What? I didn’t say anything.

JP: Now guys, the tribe is getting pretty small. Is it getting harder to vote people off?

Noah: Nope. I am badass.

JP: Nikki, how about you?

Nikki: Well, whatever happens, we will all have fond memories of each other…

Matt: I like the way she said that.

Sylar: I wanna vote!

Hiro: Why did you put tribal council area in snake pit??*Hits and kills a snake*

Nathan: I think it is supposed to have symbolic undertones.

Hiro: They can shove their symbolism up their…

Nathan: Yes, snakes are not nice.

JP: It is time for you to vote. Hiro, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Elle: *Snores*

Sylar: *Tk’s her so she falls over.*

JP: Sylar!

Sylar: What? I didn’t say anything.

JP: I go tally the votes.

JP: First vote, Nathan

JP: Second vote, Sylar

JP: Third vote, Nathan

JP: Fourth vote, Sylar

JP: Fifth vote, Nathan

JP: Next person voted out of survivor is Nathan. Please bring me your torch, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Nathan: Well it was fun as long as it lasted. Say ‘hi’ to Pete from me, will ya?

Hiro: Yes sir!

JP: The rest of you, head on back to camp.

Voting slips for the Nathan vote:

Hiro: (Parchment says Nathan) I am sorry *Bows*

Nikki: (Parchment says Nathan) I meant that with the memories.

Matt: (Parchment says Sylar) You are getting far too dangerous.

Noah: (Parchment says Nathan) I guess we just shot you down, Flyingman.

Nathan: (Parchment says Sylar) I am just fed up with those Sybrows.

Sylar: (Parchment says Nate) Finally. I thought I would never get you guys apart.

The next afternoon at camp Unopusored

Hiro: Udon are not Spaghetti!

Sylar: Yes they are!

Hiro: No they are different!

Sylar: It’s all noodles!

Noah: How infantile can you two get?

Nikki: At least they are talking and not moping around all day like Matt.

Sylar: He misses his eye candy.

Matt: I am just not looking forward to what is gonna happen when Peter comes back.

Sylar: Oh, I’m so scared!!*snickers*

Matt: You should be. Voting Nathan off at this point was just stupid.

Noah: Don’t tell us how to play the game. And don’t even try to get in our heads!

Matt: Maybe I should have gotten into your head. But I didn’t. Live and learn. If you guys would have wanted to get rid of Nate, you should have done it in the beginning on tribe Pesored.

Hiro: That sounds easier than it was.

Matt: All I know is, Peter will be pissed.

Noah: Where is he anyway? It’s almost evening.

Hiro: Well it is really not so easy to leave the place…

Matt: I wonder if they have donuts.

Noah: You are one seriously screwed up dude.

Nikki: Sy, could you glow for a sec? We need to get the fire going.

Sylar: *Glows*

Peter: *Flies in with a big grin on his face* Hi guys!

Hiro: Hello

Peter: Hey, where is Nathan?

Matt: He got voted off.

Peter: WHAT????

Sylar: The tribe has spoken…

Peter: YOU DID EFFIN WHAT??

Matt: Calm down.

Peter: You just got me from the happiest I have been in a long time to the most miserable. THANKS A LOT, YOU EFFIN LYING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt: Told ya, he would be pissed.

Peter: *Tk’s the hut over and flies off*

Nikki: I think that went well.

Hiro: I am scared now.

Nikki: Come to mama.

Sylar: What?

Noah: We better rebuild that hut. I can see lightning in the mountains. It’s gonna be bad weather.

Matt: That’s not weather. That is Peter.

Hiro: More reason to rebuild.

The next morning

JP: Welcome back to your next immunity challenge

Tribe: *Walks in*

JP: So, how are you doing Peter? I heard you had quite an outburst last night.

Peter: I am better now. *Grins*

JP: Well actually, I saw it too. That was some impressive lightning.

Peter: Thanks!

Noah: The pebble rain was a bit much.

Peter: Would you rather have liked the whole boulders?

Noah: Erm, no.

Matt: Who is Jennifer?

JP: My girlfriend. …GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Nikki: Not really here are we, Jeff? Hm?

JP: Let’s get to the challenge. We have secured ropes to this cliff along the waterfall. You will climb up those ropes to the top of the cliff, retrieve a bottle with a message in it. Then you will have to get down again. Only if the bottle is intact, can you continue. Once you are back down, you will open the bottle and retrieve the message. Then simply do what it says. The first survivor who finishes this challenge, wins immunity, all others go to tribal council.

Sylar: I hate water!

Hiro: I hate climbing.

Nikki: It’s all wet and slippery.

Noah: I thought you liked that.

Matt: There is no way I will win this. Why can’t we play Boccia instead?

JP: Quit whining all of you. Survivors ready! Go!

JP: And they are off. Noah, Peter and Sylar are climbing up the ropes. Peter is going up in a breeze. Matt is struggling, but he is on his way. Nikki also very nicely up . Everyone is getting sprayed by the waterfall. Hiro is standing on the ground. Hiro is standing on the top of the cliff.

Peter now flies the rest of the way. Noah is swearing like crazy. Sylar is also on top of the cliff now. Peter is flying down with his bottle already. Hiro can’t seem to find his bottle.

Matt is not putting any effort in anymore and just slides down. Nikki is up and even Noah is up. Peter is down and has some trouble opening the bottle. Now Sylar is throwing himself over the cliff. That doesn’t look good. Ah he catches himself, but loses the bottle in the water. Don’t look at me Sylar, dive for it!!!

Noah now on his way down with the bottle. Nikki got hers too. Ah, she slips and the bottle breaks. Sorry Nikki! Hiro is still searching for his bottle. Peter is still fighting with the stopper. Sylar is poking the water with a stick.

Now Noah is down and has his bottle too. Peter gets his open, Noah has his open too. Peter and Noah read. And with a little florish Peter does the cartwheel that we wanted to see. Immunity goes to Peter!

Noah: *Swears and swears and swears.*

Sylar: Peter didn’t follow the rules!

JP: Look who is talking.

Nikki: I really wasn’t in the mood for a shower.

JP: Peter, come get your idol.

Peter: *Grins, takes idol and puts it around his neck*

Matt: I call dips on that island!

JP: No more island.

Matt: Why?

JP: Because it is now otherwise occupied.

Matt: Dangit!

Noah: A cartwheel. What am I? A &*^%$%&* cheerleader?

Sylar: No, that would be your daughter.

JP: Head back to camp.

Peter: *Flies off*

Hiro: *Teleports*

Matt: I hate it when they do that.

Next day at camp Unopusored.

Matt: I’m hungry.

Sylar: What else is new?

Matt: I have to take care of my beautiful bodacious body.

Sylar: Frighteningly fat is more like it.

Peter: Sylar, stop picking on Matt.

Noah: He speaks!

Sylar: Or, what? Will I get hit by Petrelli wrath?

Matt: Thanks Pete!

Peter: *Tips his sun hat and then gets back to napping*

Noah: Seriously, he hasn’t spoken two sentences since we have been back from the challenge.

Matt: What do you expect? Kumbajah songs?

Hiro: We could catch some fish.

Nikki: How would we do that? Peter tk’d the float with the fishing rods away the other night.

Hiro: We go in water where the fish are. We freeze time. We grab fish. We collect fish in basket. We unfreeze time. We go out of water.

Noah: Why haven’t you said so earlier? Let’s go!!!

Hiro: I was not hungry earlier.

Matt: I was hungry earlier.

Hiro: Your stomach is not my problem. *Leaves with Noah*

Matt: I think I will eat some coconut. Can anyone roast it for me?

Nikki: Don’t look at me. I am the cool chick, I don’t cook.

Matt: How do you feed Micah?

Nikki: Probably the same way you feed Molly.

Matt: That’s bad!

Sylar: I’m bored.

Nikki: Then do something.

Sylar: *Tk’s little sticks at Peter*

Matt: Dude! Unwise!

Sylar: Nope, funny.

Nikki: It is entertaining in a crude way.

Peter: *Wakes up*

Sylar: *Tk’s some more*

Peter: WTF?!

Matt: Sybrows is bored.

Peter: So what? Leave me alone.

Sylar: Crying for mommy?

Peter: No need. *Tk’s a frying pan at Sylar*

Sylar: Ouch!

Matt: Hihi.

Sylar: *Raises water out of the cooking pot and splashes Peter*

Peter: OKAY! You wanna piece of me? Do you? Come and get it!! *Gets up and zaps Sylar in the chest*

Sylar: Hey, this is turning into fun. *Tk’s a big branch at Peter*

Peter: *Teleports and Tk’s some coconut milk on Sylar*

Sylar: *Deepfreezes the milk into a milksnowball and sends it back*

Peter: *Sends it back again*

Matt: That reminds me of tennis.

Sylar: *Jumps out of the way and tk’s the immunity idol around Peter’s neck into a tight loop*

Peter: *Teleports out of Sylar’s grip and to a place right beside him, then screams in his ear*

Sylar: *Crouches down and pulls Peters feet from under him.*

Peter: *Sends Sylar flying into the wall of the hut, crashing the hut again*

Nikki: Aw, man, leave the hut!

Peter: Sorry!

Sylar: *Sends several rocks flying at Peter*

Peter: *Sends the firewood over to Sylar.*

Sylar and Peter: *Are sitting in front of the broken hut with their hands tied up*

Hiro: You two idiots! Can’t you behave like men? Do you need to fight like little boys and destroy our camp?

Noah: That was impressive, Hiro. Almost as much as your ‘She bangs’ interpretation.

Hiro: Thank you.

Nikki: I like it when they are tied like that.

Matt: I like it too.

Peter: I don’t. *Phases through the rope*

Nikki: Aww

Sylar: I still think this was fun.

Hiro: No carp for you!

That night at tribal council
JP: Welcome back to tribal council!

Tribe Unopusored : *Walks in and quickly does the torch thing*

JP: Okay, okay, I did not plan on saying it anyways.

Nikki: You look different. Did you go tanning?

Peter: That is more red than tan.

Matt: *Squints and giggles*

JP: How often do I have to tell you to stay out of my head?!!

Matt: Sorry. *Is still giggling*

JP: Please welcome the members of our jury. The Haitian, Elle and Nathan, who got voted out at the last tribal council.

The Haitian and Elle: *Walk in, sit down*

JP: Where is Nathan?

Nathan: *Flies in, skids to a halt, sits down on the bench and winks at Peter*

JP: Good, now that we are all here, let’s get started.

Noah: Do we have to have this psycho babble again?

JP: Yes. As a matter fact, let’s start with you. Noah, how do you feel as the only one left without special abilities?

Noah: Don’t you worry. I have special abilities aplenty.

Nikki: Yeah, like snoring so loud that the rats get scared.

JP: Matt: I heard you had a hard time procuring food. Why don’t you just make them cook for you?

Matt: Because I am not using my powers on them in a forceful way.

JP: Why not? You have no problem rummaging in my head all the time.

Matt: Are you a contestant?

JP: Moving on. Hiro, I heard you broke up a fight today.

Hiro: Yes.

JP: Do you think you could spend more than one word on it?

Hiro: I wanted a place to sleep tonight. And they were tearing the place apart.

JP: ‘They’ being Sylar and Peter?

Hiro: Yes.

JP: Peter, what was this fight about?

Peter: Nothing.

JP: Sylar, what do you have to say to that?

Sylar: Nothing.

JP: Ugh! Pulling teeth must be easier.

Noah: Why don’t we just vote?

JP: Not yet. We need to talk first, so that the jury can get an impression.

Noah: So, what’s next? The ‘Feelings chart’?

JP: Going back to the challenge: Matt, that was the third challenge you basically sat out. Aren’t you afraid that this will bite you in the butt?

Matt: Who will bite me in the butt?

Nikki: What an image. *Snickers*

Peter: *Shakes head and grins*

JP: Arrrgh!

Matt: We will see, Jeff. We will see.

JP: Peter?

Peter: What?

JP: How does it feel to see Nathan again but him being on the other side of the fence?

Peter: Fence? *Grins* I’m just messing. Yeah, well he looks good. *Waves*

JP: That was very informative indeed. Get voting already! Matt, you’re up!

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

JP: I go tally the votes.

Noah: He is finally doing something useful.

JP: First vote, Hiro.

JP: Second vote, Sylar.

JP: Third vote, Sylar. That is one vote Hiro and two votes Sylar.

JP: Fourth vote, Sylar.

JP: Fifths vote is Sylar. That is enough. Next person voted out of survivor is Sylar. Please bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Sylar: Wow, just like that, huh? *Leaves*

JP: Interesting. Did the little fight have anything to do with it?

Everybody: *Silence*

JP: You can…

Peter and Hiro: *Teleport*

JP: …head back to camp now.

Matt: Here we go again.

Nikki: Come on Teddybear, maybe I will even bite your butt.

Voting slips for the Sylar vote

Matt: (Parchment says Sylar) It is high time for you to go. High time…

Nikki: (Parchment says Sylar) I tell you one thing, Jess is in time-out right now.

Hiro: (Parchment says Sylar) You are too aggressive. And you ate my carp anyways.

Sylar: (Parchment says Hiro) You impressed me today. A little mistake on your part.

Peter: (Parchment says Sy) Have fun with spark plug. *Winks*

The same night at camp:

Noah: Wow, I guess that was pretty unanimous.

Peter: I am surprised he lasted this long.

Nikki: *Shakes her hair lose* I like self-control.

Hiro: Huh?

Matt: *Stretches* Yeah, no more Sylar slasher stories by the firelight. I am relieved.

Peter: I thought you liked them?

Matt: I did not!

Noah: Did you two get your wires crossed or something?

Peter: Constantly!

Hiro: I want something sweet to eat.

Peter: I can help you with that. *Teleports*

Nikki: Wow, what is this? Can I order something too?

Peter: *Comes back with a honeycomb*

Noah: Where did you find that?

Peter: In some tree.*Winks at Hiro*

Hiro: Tasty!

Matt: Gimme, gimme!

Nikki: Oh, I just love honey!

Peter: *Licks honey off his fingers and the side of his chin*

Noah: Damn it! *Gets himself some honey too*

Very, very early the next morning at camp Unopusored

Noah (whispers): Psst, pssst, Matt

Matt: *Groans, turns around*

Noah: Big guy wake up!

Matt: Aw man, I just had a dream about Mo….my, ahem.

Noah: I don’t want to know about your perverted pleasures. I need to talk with you.

Matt: Alright. *Gets up*

Noah: Lets get walking.

Noah and Matt leave the camp side. They walk down the beach.

Noah: So, is it true that you never used your powers on me?

Matt: What?

Noah: I mean to influence me in the vote.

Matt: Yeah, no, why?

Noah: What?

Matt: I’m the one who is not awake yet.

Noah: *Lowers gaze* I can see that.

Matt: So you are asking if I went into your head and manipulated you?

Noah: Yeah, that’s it.

Matt: Well, I sent you water lugging once.

Noah: Yep.

Matt: And Peter sent you tapdancing a few times.

Noah: I hate that. I really, really hate that!!!

Matt: Yeah, but how did it feel?

Noah: Huh?

Matt: *Squints*

Noah: *Tapdances* AAhhhhh!

Matt: *Stops* So did you feel a difference in your head?

Noah: No. Wait. Yes. Do it again!

Matt: *Squints*

Noah: *Tapdances*

Matt: You are a natural at tapdance, you should open a studio. *Snickers*

Noah: Enough!

Matt: *Stops it*

Noah: I don’t think I felt like that at other times.

Matt: Good. Can I go back to sleep now?

Noah: Nope. I want to know about you and Peter.

Matt: There is nothing to know.

Noah: Are you two an alliance?

Matt: When will you learn that there are no alliances in this tribe? Alliances are for wusses!

Noah: Hey, being badass is my game!

Matt: You can be the new James Bond for all I care. I am going back to sleep now.

Noah: Alright. Sweet Momos.

Matt: Thanks…. What?

Noah: I think I will jog a bit. *Runs off but breaks into dance leaps every few steps.*

The next day at the challenge location
JP: Welcome guys to our next immunity challenge.

Tribe: *Marches in.*

JP: First thing first, Peter, please give back the immunity idol.

Peter: *Returns it*

JP: What happened to it? It looks different.

Peter: Just a little rough play.

JP: Todays challenge is not physical. You just need to remember some details about your current and former tribe mates.

Noah: Ugh. Blabbermouth day.

JP: You are the born complainer, aren’t you?

Noah: I just miss my gun.

JP: Okay, we have little tablets for you guys. I will ask a question. You write, you reveal.

Hiro: We did this before.

Nikki: He is having dejavu

Hiro: No, I mean when we still were two tribes.

Noah: Yeah (in high pitched voice) I don’t wanna. It’s private! (in normal voice) I remember.

Peter: *Squints at Noah*

Noah: Cocadoodledooo!!!!

JP: Stop it, all of you!

Matt: I’m hungry.

JP: First question, what was the last thing Sandra bought for Mr. Muggles before she came to the island?

JP: Reveal: Nikki, Matt and Hiro say a bandana. That is right. Peter says dog food. Not a bad idea, but that is not right. They get their dog food delivered by a special service. Noah says a collar. Nope, that is wrong.

Noah: How the hell should I know what it was? She buys stuff for that pug all the time.

JP: Next question, who has Ando a major crush on?

JP: Reveal: Hiro, Matt and Peter say Hiro’s sister. They are right. Nikki says herself. That might be true, but that is not we were looking for. Noah says every girl on the planet. That might also be true, but that was also not what we were looking for.

JP: Next question. What highschool did Elle go to?

Reveal: Noah and Matt say homeschooled. That is right. Peter says stupid village high. That is not a valid answer. Hiro says, she has no education. That is also not a valid answer.

Hiro: That is the truth!

JP: That is not the answer we were looking for. Nikki wrote uncultured brat. Also not a point bringing answer.

Next question: What is Bob’s most favorite hobby?

JP: Reveal: Matt and Noah say fishing. That is right. Nikki says, being annoying. That is not an answer we can count. Peter says, torturing people and Hiro left his tablet blank. So no points for you there.

Next question, what is Matt’s wifes name?

Reveal: Peter and Nikki wrote Janice. That is right. Noah and Hiro wrote Mohinder. I don’t even wanna know. Matt wrote the evil bitch from hell. I am sorry Matt, I can’t count that.

Last question: How many children does Nathan have?

Reveal: Peter says 3 and Noah says 3 that we know of. I can give points for both answers. Nikki says 2, Matt says 1. Hiro says I don’t know. So no points for you three.

JP: Alright, that gives Nikki and Hiro two points each, Noah and Peter 3 points each and Matt is the winner of the immunity idol with 4 points.

Matt: Alright! I won immunity! Cool!

JP: *Hands the idol to Matt *Well Matt this challenge also comes with a reward. You and one other tribe member can go to the former Pesored camp where a massage and a feast wait for you. Who will you take?

Matt: Nikki!

Nikki: Score!

JP: The rest of you, head back to camp.

Peter and Hiro: *Teleport*

Noah: I am getting too old for this.

Later that day at camp Unopusored

Hiro: The fire went out.

Peter: No prob, *zaps*

Noah: You are a nice lighter.

Peter: Thanks. Wait? Was that a compliment?

Noah: Yeah, well, *grumbles*

Hiro: Time for fishing.

Peter: I don’t want to eat one more fish. I had enough fish. I can’t stand fish.

Hiro: So, you go hungry.

Peter: Or I go steal from the feast.

Noah: Awesome!

Hiro: You can’t do that!

Peter: Why not?

Hiro: Because they will disqualify you.

Noah: Shut up!

Peter: For the benefit of everyone, Noah is thinking that it would be great if I got disqualified and he would get his belly full at the same time.

Noah: Since when did you turn into a public broadcast system?

Hiro: Hehe, thank you Peter. Looks like box of rocks turned into box of marbles and has them all together.

Noah: Rocks, marbles, who cares? Makes all the same stupid racket.

Peter: You know, you are still talking in a human voice, because I could not make up my mind between a rooster, a pig and a dog.

Noah: Yeah, right.

Hiro: I would go with dog.

Peter: Why?

Hiro: Maybe his wife can understand him better then?

Peter: *Giggles*

Noah: Since when have you become so mean?

Hiro: I am just tired and hungry, that’s all.

Peter: Which brings us back to my earlier plan.

Meanwhile at the feast

Matt: First food, or first massage, first food, or first massage, I can’t make up my mind!

Nikki: *Dives into the food*

Matt: Thanks! *Dives into the food too*

Nikki: sho hy idddshoo ic jee?

Matt: hurgh?

Nikki: *swallows* So, why did you pick me?

Matt: caush urgh ottt!

Nikki: Besides that.

Matt: *Swallows* I am eating!!!!!!

Nikki: Whatever!

(Half a turkey mysteriously vanishes)

Back at camp Unopusored

Noah, Peter and Hiro rest in the shade. Noah is scaring the rats again.

Much later at the feast.

Matt: I am full.

Nikki: That took forever. I think I discovered a new ability you have. Eating without borders.

Matt: That was my first ability ever. *Grins* Come on, lets get a massage.

Nikki: Yeah. And then we talk.

Matt: All women ever want to do, is talk.

Nikki: Poor Matty, no wonder you love donuts so much.

Matt: *Takes his clothes off* Wow, I must have lost a ton of weight!

Nikki: *Stares*

At tribal council grounds

JP: Welcome to tribal council.

Tribe: *Walks in an does the torch thing.*

JP: And now lets welcome the members of our Jury: The Haitian, Elle, Nathan, and Sylar who was voted out at the last tribal council.

The Haitian: *Walks in.*

JP: Where is everyone else?

Haitian: I think Sylar is still playing with Elle and Nate is MIA most of the time.

JP: Sylar is doing what?

Haitian: He drives her nuts, she zaps, he tk’s it back to her.

JP: Maybe you should sit between the both of them tonight.

Haitian: What am I? Their nanny?

Sylar and Elle: *Walk in and sit down.* Sylar is grinning.

Nathan: *Flies in and sits down too.*

JP: You know, the jury is really not supposed to make such a big deal out of itself.

Nathan: I haven’t said one thing. *Grins and winks*

JP: Back to the tribe, so Matt, how are you feeling?

Matt: Great!!!

JP: I wasn’t finished with my question. How are you feeling now that you have won immunity for the first time?

Matt: Yeah that. That is great too.

JP: So what are you so happy about?

Matt: Are you kidding? Food!!!!

JP: A man of simple pleasures.

Nikki: You can say that again.

JP: Do I detect a hint of disappointment?

Nikki: No, I just have never seen anyone eat so much.

JP: That is all there is to it?

Nikki: You are one nosy guy, you know that?

JP: Alright, Hiro, how was the morale at camp with you, Peter and Noah remaining without a feast?

Hiro: We were fine. We rested.

JP: Noah?

Noah: Yeah and Peter arf, arf, arf, *coughs, sputters*

JP: What the heck was that?

Noah: I got something in my throat.

JP: What was with Peter?

Noah: He can sing pretty songs.

JP: Peter?

Peter: What?

JP: Do you feel save tonight?

Peter: *Grins* We will see.

JP: Do you want to win a price for evasiveness?

Peter: That is not a price I had in mind, no.

JP: Be that as it may, it is time to vote. Noah, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes, the decision is final and the person voted off is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Elle: *Zaps at Sylar*

Sylar: *Deflects*

JP: I go tally the votes. And stop that stupid zapping!

JP: First vote, Noah

JP: Second vote, Hiro

JP: Third vote, Hiro. That is two votes Hiro, one vote Noah.

JP: Fourth vote, Noah. That makes two votes each.

JP: Fifth vote: Hiro. The next person voted out of survivor is Hiro. Bring me your torch. The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Hiro: I don’t think so. *Rummages in his pocket and pulls out a necklace.*

JP: Okay, that changes things. Hiro has got the hidden immunity idol.

Peter: What? You had that all the time?

Hiro: Yes.

Peter: Why didn’t you save Nate?

Hiro: I rather save myself now.

Peter: Point taken.

JP: Well, with Hiro save, the person voted off is the one who has the second most votes. So I guess Noah, this is it for you.

Noah: Dammit!

JP: The tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Noah: *Leaves, grumbling*

JP: Alright, you four can head back to camp now.

Peter and Hiro: *Get a hold on Nikki and Matt and teleport*

JP: They all come and go so quickly around here…

Voting slips for the Hiro almost and then Noah vote

Noah: (Parchment says Hiro) I really like you, but that time stopping is scary.

Peter: (Parchment says Noah) Snore elsewhere.

Matt: (Parchment says Hiro) Well, she made a good case for it.

Nikki: (Parchment says Hiro) You are too mysterious for your own good.

Hiro: (Parchment says Mr. Bennet) You scheme too much.

Next morning at camp Unopusored

Nikki:*wakes up* I haven’t slept this good in a long time.

Peter *stretches*: Me neither. Finally did I not have to see any more disturbing images of Pomeranians killing half invisible people.

Matt: Oh, you got those too?

Hiro: That is super freaky.

Nikki: You think?

Matt: I am in the mood for breakfast.

Nikki: I am in the mood for something else. *Snuggles up to Peter*

Peter: Lay off, I am not into Sylar’s left overs.

Nikki: Hey!

Hiro: I could be….

Nikki: *Gets up* No man, not a chance.

Hiro: You say that now, but I know where my glasses were.

Matt: Pete, I think you pissed her off.

Peter: Well, for one she did not hide her real intentions very well and secondly, I also meant what I said.

Matt: Or are you afraid of her comparing notes?

Hiro: What notes?

Peter: Nope. I know what I can do. *Grins*

Matt: Like what?

Peter: Just combine levitation with super strengths and you get an idea.

Matt:Oh, …….

Hiro: What?

Matt: I am not going to explain this one.

Nikki: Hey guys, get up, the fire is out again!

Matt: Now why should I get up when the fire is out?

Nikki: Because if you don’t I will throw the cooking pot at you.

Matt: That sounds like a reason. *Gets up and helps Nikki.*

Hiro: So, final four. Cool.

Peter: You really threw me with that idol.

Hiro: Did you not realize that it was still in the game?

Peter: I forgot about it. I didn’t even look for it when I was on that island.

Hiro: Why not?

Peter: Too busy with other things.*Grins*

Hiro: Yeah, there is that.*Grins too*

Peter: Poor Matt never got to go.

Hiro: Yeah, but I heard that he got one hell of a massage from a Gene Simmons fan the other day at the reward.

Peter: Good, he deserved it.

Hiro: *Gets up too* Anyone want some more fish?

The next day at the challenge location

JP: Welcome back to the next challenge, Hiro, Nikki, Peter and Matt.

Tribe: *Walks in*

Matt: Why don’t you call us by our tribe name anymore?

JP: Because you are the final four and your tribe name is just as long.

Peter: *Giggles*

JP: Why are you giggling?

Peter: I finally figured out what it means.

JP: Nice job.

Hiro: What does it mean?

JP: I am not gonna tell you. You figure it out by yourself.

Hiro: Fair enough.

Nikki: So, what are we to do?

JP: First things first. Matt, please give me the immunity idol and Hiro please give me the hidden immunity idol. The hidden immunity idol is out of the game now. All that matters now is the one immunity idol Matt had. So, Immunity, back up for grabs!

Hiro: If it is out of the game, can I keep it as a souvenir?

Peter: Want me to take your picture with it? *Snickers*

JP: No Hiro, you can’t.

Nikki: That was such a touristy thing to ask.

JP: Now to the challenge. We constructed four giant scrabble boards for you. You will have 20 scrabble blocks with letters on them. You will have to use them to spell words so that you end up with 100 points of letters worth. The words need to make sense, they need to be in a common dictionary. And no, Urban Dictionary does not count. And they need to be spelled correctly. Also, all your letters need to be used.

Once you have reached 100 points, you will get a flag. You need to take the flag and put it on a pole and raise it up. The first member who does this, wins immunity.

Peter: Sorry Nikki. *Grins*

Matt: No fair, I can’t spell.

Hiro: Why sorry Nikki?

Matt: Peter has been corrupted, don’t mind him.

Nikki: I can spell and I also know what to do with poles, so don’t worry about me. *Grins too*

JP: Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And they are off. Matt is laying out all the letter blocks and scratches his head. Nikki is laying out words. So is Peter. Hiro has already laid out quixotic and xylophone. No, Peter, Petrellicest is not a word we allow, think of something else. Nikki laid out pole and dance. Matt laid out policesman. Matt, you might want to check your spelling there. Hiro has added zen and pan. And with that he reaches his points and is handed his flag. He now runs to the flagpole and raises his flag. Hiro won immunity!

Matt: I hate this challenge.

Peter: I could have sworn that Petrellicest is a word.

JP: Hiro, here is your immunity idol.

Hiro: Yatta!

Nikki: You look nice with it on.

Matt: I liked it better on me.

JP: Guys, we are done here, you can head back to camp.

Peter: Nope, it is nice here.

JP: Huh?

Peter: I have had enough of being told where I can and can’t go on this island. This place is nice and shady, I’ll stay.

JP: No you don’t.

Peter: *Tk’s four letter s blocks, one letter k block, one letter i block, one letter a block, on letter y block and one letter m block in order.* Is that spelled correctly?

Nikki: I think so.*Grins*

Matt: *Chuckles* Reads like a little revolution. *Sits down on his q letter block.*

JP: MOVE!!!!

Nikki: Someone is a little frustrated. *Runs fingers through JP’s hair*

JP: This is getting too weird. *Leaves*

Hiro: Peter, just what did you do to that idol necklace?

Peter: I just melted the iron parts a bit.

That evening
JP: Welcome final four to tribal council.

Nikki, Peter, Matt and Hiro: *Walk in and do the torch thing.*

JP: We are really getting down to the wire here.

Matt: Wire would have worked, I think.

JP: What are you talking about?

Matt: Nothing.

JP: Lets welcome the members of our jury: The Haitian, Elle, Nathan, Sylar and Noah who got voted out at the last tribal council.

Everyone walks in and sits nicely on the jury bench. Noah grins broadly.

JP: Noah, you look happy.

Noah: I got my gun back. *Grins*

Matt: That so does not sound like a good idea.

JP: So, final four. How does it feel to come this far?

Final four: *Silence*

JP: Not that again. Nikki, what do you think?

Nikki: I think its cool.

JP: Matt, what about you?

Matt: Yeah, I like it. But I could use another reward challenge.

Peter: Or a trip to the island….

Hiro: I agree.

JP: The island will still be there when the game is over.

Peter: Sweet!

Nikki: Sweet like honey!

JP: Back to the game, did you expect to sit with the same people here, or did the game change directions for you a lot?

Hiro: I did not expect to be here at all.

JP: Peter, what about you?

Peter: I miss Nate.

Nathan: *Blows kiss*

JP: Could you stop that?

Nikki: Aww, let them.

JP: Nikki, do you miss someone?

Nikki: Nope

JP: Peter, what was that insubordination all about at the challenge?

Peter: Just what I said. I like to go on this island where I want to go and not be told all the time what to do and what not to do.

JP: That would really interfere with the shooting crews and the behind the scenes things.

Peter: I promise I won’t mess with them.

JP: Sorry.

Matt: I would. *Grins*

JP: Be that as it may, we have a little thing called voting to take care of. Peter, you’re up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: Once I read the votes the decision is final and the person voted out is asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.

Noah: *Shoots* BANG!!!!

JP: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Noah: Sorry, scorpion.

Matt: Told ya, not a good idea.

JP: Damnit!

Elle: Relax, man.

JP: I’ll go tally the votes.

JP: First vote, Nikki

JP: Second vote, Nikki

JP: Third vote, Peter

JP: Forth vote, Nikki

JP: Next person voted out of survivor is Nikki. Please bring me your torch, the tribe has spoken, it is time for you to go.

Nikki: *Leaves*

JP: So, no more girls?

Matt: Nope, only donuts.

Peter and Hiro: *Teleport*

Matt: Dang, I said the wrong thing.

Parchment slips for the Nikki vote:

Peter: (Parchment says Nikki) Give my love to Nate.

Matt: (Parchment says Nikki) You should not have thrown that stuff at me.

Nikki: (Parchment says Peter) Nobody says No to me.

Hiro: (Parchment says Nikki) What goes around, comes around.

The next day at camp

Peter: Hiro what are you doing?

Hiro: Tai chi. It relaxes.

Peter: Cool. Can I do it too?

Hiro: Just follow the poses.

Matt: Poses?

Hiro: He is finally awake?

Matt: Cut me some slack, I had to walk all the way back by myself.

Peter: What took you so long anyway?

Matt: Ahem, well…

Hiro: I bet he got lost.

Peter: Seriously?

Matt: I don’t wanna talk about it.

Hiro and Peter: *Giggle*

Matt: So, what’s for breakfast?

Peter: No idea.

Hiro: How about some turkey? Turkey was tasty. *Makes constipated face and touches Matt.*

Matt: When did you guys have turkey?

Hiro: No turkey here.

Matt: I had turkey the other day at the feast. *Squints at Hiro*

Hiro: Stop it!

Matt: You stole it???

Hiro: No I didn’t.

Matt: You frikken stole it??

Peter: I did. But Hiro helped.

Matt: Are you nuts??

Hiro: You sure did not bring any leftovers.

Matt: What if I tell the survivor people?

Peter: Go ahead, and then I tell all the things you did.

Matt: No you wouldn’t.

Hiro: What things?

Peter: Come on, we all used our powers here and there.

Matt: Alright. You got a point.

Hiro: I want to know what things.

Matt: I’ll tell you after the game.

Peter: I think Hiro wants to know before the game is over.*Grins*

Matt: But wait, we just talked openly about you guys stealing turkey.

Hiro: Matt, look at that leaf.

Matt: What? Why?

Peter: Hehe, he didn’t even notice.

Matt: Oh, it is stuck in midair. I get now, we are in time warp.

Hiro: Not for much longer. *Makes constipated face.*

Hiro: I meant fish.

Matt: I could go for fish.

Peter: I’ll go find me a banana….

At the challenge location

JP: Welcome final three to our very last challenge.

Matt, Hiro and Peter: *Walk in. Smile.*

JP: You all look happy.

Hiro: We are just friendly people.

JP: Yeah, right.

Matt: *Squints* He is just in a bad mood, because..

JP: STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!

Peter: *Squints too* Awww

JP: YOU TOO!

Final three:*Giggle*

JP: Hiro, hand back the immunity idol.

Hiro: You forgot magic word.

JP: Huh?

Matt: I think he means ‘please’.

JP: *Rolls eyes* Please?

Hiro: *Hands idol back*

JP: Lets get to the challenge. This last challenge is a simple endurance test. You will get to hold this wooden tray. It has a hole in the middle. There will be one marble on that tray. If you drop your marble, you’re out. Last one to have his marble, wins immunity and a spot on the final two.

Matt: That’s it? We have to balance a marble?

JP: Yep, that’s it.

Hiro: Don’t lose your marbles, big guy. *Grins*

Peter: Sad thing is, there is only one left. *Grins too*

Matt: Like you have any more.

Hiro: How do you spell ‘marble’? *Snickers*

JP: Shut up and get in position. Survivors ready? Go!

JP: And all three have their trays with the marbles and hold perfectly still. Peter seems to look at it so that it stays in one place. Matt seems to talk to it. Hiro is just looking straight at me. Why is he doing that?

About half an hour later…

JP: You guys don’t seem to get tired, do you?

Final three: *Silence*

JP: Alright, I will not say anything anymore. For now.

About one hour after that….

JP: Ah, it is nice to sit in the shade with some ice cold lemonade, while you guys stand in the sun with your trays.

Final three: *Still silence*

Exactly 17 minutes after that…

Peter: You dropped your marble.

Hiro: No, I did not.

Peter: Yes, you did. I saw you picking it up and putting it back.

Hiro: I did not drop it. It is right here.

Peter: Back there again, yeah.

Hiro: I did not drop it.

Peter: Yeah you did.

Hiro: Prove it!

Peter: I can’t.

Hiro: Then leave me alone.

Peter: You still dropped it.

Hiro: Did not.

Peter: Did too.

Hiro: Did not!

Peter: Did too!

Hiro: Did not!!! *Stamps his foot and thereby drops his marble*

Peter: You just did it again.

Hiro: Shit!

JP: Hiro, you are out of the challenge. Come get yourself some lemonade.

About half an hour after that…

Matt: *Squints at Peter*

Peter: Ouch man! Feedback!

Matt: Yeah. I get it too. *Squints again, harder*

Peter: Man, stop it! What are you doing?

Matt: Trying to break your concentration. *Grins*

Peter: *Squints at Matt*

Matt: Ayayayay. Is that the best you can come up with?

Peter: Let’s just both leave it be.

Matt: Nope *Squints again*

Peter: No Matt, not that. Please not that!!!!

JP: Matt, what are you doing?

Matt: Just showing him some selected memories, nothing evil.

Peter: That is evil!!

Matt: I thought you enjoyed it? *Squints some more*

Peter: Arrrgghh *Drops his marble*

JP: And with that, Matt wins the last immunity challenge and has a spot on the final two.

Matt: Yes!!!

JP: *Hands Matt the immunity idol*

JP: Now Matt, who will be voted off?

Matt: What? Now already?

JP: Yeah, no more waiting, just tell us who you vote off. As you know Peter can’t vote for himself and Hiro can’t vote for himself, so they cancel each other out. Your vote is the only one that counts. So who will leave the tribe now?

Matt: *Spells* H, I, R, O.

Hiro: Blasted, I should not have made fun of him earlier.

JP: Hiro, Matt has spoken, it is time for you to go. As for you two, head on back to camp, please?

Back at camp:

Matt: *Squints*

Peter: Ouch, *squints back*

Matt: Ay, *squints some more*

Peter: *Squints back, looking mad.*

Matt: Yeah, you’re right, the feedback is a bitch, we might as well talk.

Peter: Or we don’t.

Matt: What?

Peter: Did you have to show me the stuff I did with Caitlin? *Makes disgusted face*

Matt: Yeah well, you pulled Janice.

Peter: Yeah, and you did not even wince.

Matt: That took a lot.

Peter: I should have pulled West. That would have tipped the tray…

Matt: Beg your pardon?

Peter: Forget it.

Matt: You are not the Haitian, you know. *Grins*

Peter: Yeah, that power still eludes me.

Matt: So, should we celebrate being the final two?

Peter: We might as well. I feel a bit sorry for Hiro though. He played such a great game.

Matt: Yeah, he did. They all did.

Peter: Hehe, some more so than others.

Matt: Let me get the wine out, ok?

Peter: Remember, I don’t get drunk. *Grins*

Matt: Yeah well, we could still drink it. *Shakes head and grins too.*

The final morning at camp

Matt: *Wakes up, he is alone at camp.* Wow, this is so cool. It is absolutely quiet.*Stretches* Ahhhhhhh

Peter: *Approaches from the beach.* You are a funny guy. When people are around, you don’t speak out loud, but when you are alone you do.

Matt: Whatever. *Grimaces*, I think I have a bit of a hangover.

Peter: You drank about half a bottle of wine last night and showed me that you can hula hoop.

Matt: I did not. Wait, yes, I did. But I don’t have static or anything, I will be fine. Where were you anyway?

Peter: I took a long swim. Clears the head.

Matt: Sounds good.

JP: Good morning guys!

Peter: Hi Jeff.

Matt: Hey Jeff, what are you doing here?

JP: I bring you your assignment for today.

Peter: Hehe, homework.

Matt: Aww, I wanted to go swimming.

JP: Well, you need to dismantle the camp, take your belongings and walk on a marked path toward the tribal council area.

Peter: You know, I could just teleport us there.

JP: The way is the goal.

Matt: Huh?

JP: Along the way are the torches of all your fellow players. You will need to collect them and bring them with you to tribal.

Matt: That is 14 torches! I am not lugging them around with me.

JP: Maybe you could ask Peter here for help. He has super strength.

Peter: Among other things…

JP: *Sings* Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase…STOP IT!

Peter: Wasn’t me.

Matt: Hey, I didn’t do anything.

JP: *Sighs* One more day. I can do this one more day.

Matt: So what do we do with the torches once we arrive at tribal?

JP: Burn them. And then you will sit before the Jury and answer their questions.

Peter: Ok.

Matt: Yes, sir!

JP: Alright, dismantle or demolish the camp and get out of here. *Leaves*

Peter: Matt, just go swimming. It takes me about two minutes to finish here.

Matt: Cool!

Much later that day…

Matt: That was the most compact smoldering heap I have ever seen!

Peter: It was fun. *Grins*

Matt: What I did not understand were the letters in it.

Peter: I just wanted to pay tribute to someone.

Matt: Someone without a torch?

Peter: Definitely!

Matt: Ah, look, there is the first marker.

Peter: Dude, this is the way we always walked.

Matt: Yeah, sure, alright I have no sense of orientation, so sue me!

Peter: There is the first torch.

Matt: Yeah, Sandra. I did not see much of her. But Mo told me that she pretty much slapped everybody.

Peter: That must run in the family…

Matt: Yeah, I see your point.

They walk…

Peter: Next one. Adam. He was so full of himself.

Matt: Yeah, but funny!

Peter: I though his jokes were getting kinda old.

Matt: Huh?

They walk…

Matt: Bob. Creepy. *Shudders*

Peter: Agreed.

They walk…

Peter: Ando. The great Ando.

Matt: I think he was the sanest of us all.

Peter: He will probably never forget the food challenge party in his life. *Grins*

They walk…

Matt: Aww, Momo. My sweet Momo.

Peter: I think you two should make it official sometime soon. You’ve been broadcasting your dreams all over the place.

Matt: *Shrugs*

They walk…

Peter: Claire. My niece Claire. Why am I related to everybody?

Matt: So you do like her?

Peter: Not like that. And she is too crazy, pompoms and all.

Matt: She sure likes you a lot.

Peter: Must be genetic.

They walk…

Matt: My little donut!

Peter: You sure liked his torch.

Matt: Actually his torch really did not interest me that much.

Peter: Oh, ok.

They walk…

Peter: The Haitian. He is one cool dude.

Matt: I still don’t know why he agreed to be in this game.

Peter: I guess Noah wanted him along.

They walk…

Matt: Elle.

Peter: Yay, sparkplug!

Matt: I liked it when she combed her hair.*Grins*

They walk…

Peter: *Sniffs* Hi big bro.

Matt: You’ll see him pretty soon.

Peter: Yeah. *Blinks*

They walk…

Matt: Sylar….

Peter: Wicked guy!

Matt: I wonder if he will ever learn to swim.

Peter: *Chuckles*

They walk…

Peter: Noah. He was so much fun!

Matt: Yeah, especially when dancing, or singing.

Peter: He should be in musicals.

Matt and Peter: *Grin a lot*

They walk…

Matt: Nikki. She was one hot competitor.

Peter: I wonder if she will ever fully own up to that night.

Matt: Dude, what did happen after I passed out?

Peter: *Winks*

They walk…

Peter: Ah, Hiro.

Matt: I never thought he would be so tough.

Peter: He is one of the smartest guys I ever met.

Matt: Yeah, who else would say that a pyramid is a three dimensional triangle?

Peter: I bet he could have spelled that too. *Grins*

Matt: *Shakes head and grins * You guys can not let that go, can you?

Peter: Nope.

They arrive at the tribal council area. It is getting dark.

JP: Welcome Matt and Peter to your last tribal council. But first we will put all the torches you brought into the fire.

Peter: *Drops the torches onto the ground.*

Matt: *Jumps aside*

JP: Matt, you seriously did not carry even one of them?

Matt: Nope.

JP:: Interesting…

Matt and Peter throw the torches unceremoniously into the fire. The torches catch and burn.

JP: You guys are not very emotional about the end of this game. Or are you?

Peter: Don’t call me emo!

Matt: Hehe

JP: Alright, let’s welcome your Jury. Come in Haitian, Elle, Nathan, Sylar, Noah, Nikki and Hiro.

They all walk in.

JP: Tonights vote will be different than all the votes before. Tonight people will write down the name of the guy who will win the million dollars and who will be the sole survivor. Tonight you actually want to see your name on that parchment.

Sylar: He still thinks we are all stupid.

Noah: I don’t think so.

Hiro: Why not?

Noah: Well in his f…Ahem, just a hunch.

JP:But first you Peter and Matt can address the Jury and tell them why you should be the one to win. Matt, you go first.

Matt: Well. First of all, I had fun! I really bonded with some of you.

Sylar: *Snickers* donut.

Matt: And it would really mean a lot to me to win this. I have never won anything. I always had to struggle to get the things in life that I wanted. I would love to win for once.
Also I could use the money. Get a bigger place to live. Get a good education for Molly. And maybe go back to college myself. ..

Elle: Poor, poor Matty. *Rolls eyes*

JP: Could you guys refrain from talking in between? You will get your chance in a minute.

Matt: Thanks, but I think I was already finished.

JP: Alright, moving on to Peter

Peter: Well, I really don’t have much I can tell you. You all know me by now and have probably made up your mind. I participated in this game and played it the best I could, because I thought it was the right thing to do. I admire you all for many different reasons and I think you will make the right decision, may it be for me or for Matt. Thank you for letting me share this experience with you.

Nathan: Awwww

JP: Alright, now is the time for the Jury to ask questions and give comments. Haitian, you’re up.

Haitian: Matt, Peter. First let me thank you two. You two made my life more bearable on this island.

Elle: Get over yourself you big wuss!

Noah: I still have my gun, girl!

Haitian: Matt, you already said what you want to do with the money. So Peter what are your plans with it?

Peter: Well, it is just an idea so far. But I thought I build a place for us. Not like the company. A place to relax and learn and exchange ideas. Like, like a school or something.

Sylar: Cool!

Nikki: Nice!

Hiro: That sounds somehow familiar….

JP: Elle, you’re next.

Elle: *Zaps Peter and Matt* Just for old times sake.

Peter and Matt: *Curse*

Elle: One question, would you make out with me for the vote?

Matt: Nope

Peter: No way.

Elle: That’s all I wanted to know.

JP: Nathan, your turn.

Nathan: I don’t have a question. Vote Petrelli! *Winks*

JP: Thanks. Alright, Sylar, what have you to say?

Sylar: Can I just not vote for anybody?

JP: Nope. You will have to vote for one of them.

Syalar: I don’t want to.

JP: Do you have a direct question?

Sylar: Nope.

JP: Moving on then. Noah how is it with you?

Noah: Yeah well. You guys jerked me around a lot in this game. I can deal with that. I can respect that. But don’t you dare do that ever again!

Matt: Sure

Peter: Yeah Noah, no problem.

Noah: One question, did either of you screw with my daughter?

Peter: Are you crazy? No!!!

Matt: Seriously man, no.

Noah: Good.

JP: Nikki, how about you?

Nikki: *Gets up and hugs Matt and Peter*

JP: What was that all about?

Nikki: I like those guys.

JP: What is your question?

Nikki: Will you guys come help me when I am in a tight spot again?

Peter: Absolutely!

Matt: Right away!

JP: Interesting… Now Hiro, it is your turn.

Hiro: Congratulations for you two. You reached the final two.

Peter: Thanks!

Matt: Yeah, thank you.

Hiro: How honest were you in this game to get here?

JP: That is a question I like.

Hiro: Peter? You want to talk about that?

Peter: I don’t want to, but I will if you ask me to.

Hiro: Why don’t you tell everyone how and when you found that honey?

Peter: Alright. When Sylar and I had that fight.

Sylar: What???

Peter: Hiro came and stopped time. But that didn’t affect me. So we talked a bit before we decided to put things back to normal and give you a bit of an illusion.

Noah: Eff me!

Nikki: Slow down. How did the honey get in there?

Sylar: Yeah, this needs some more explaining!

Peter: Yeah well… I thought I could use the stopped time to my advantage at first, but then I did not, thanks again Hiro.

Hiro: What did you want to do?

Peter: Launch Sylar from a tree.

Sylar: You are going down!!!

Peter: Hey, I did not really do it, now, did I? If you had had that opportunity, I would be a corpse right now without a brain.

Sylar: Yeah, well, yeah…

Nathan: You tell him, Pete!

Hiro: Matt, how about you? What did you lie about?

Matt: Nothing big, really…

Peter: I know and I will tell, my friend.

Matt: Alright, I manipulated some votes a little.

Nathan: You did not!!!

Noah: But you told me you didn’t!

Matt: Not with you. But in the beginning I kinda guided some people along a bit.

Elle: That is big!

Matt: I just used my powers a little to my advantage. Everyone else did too.

JP: Yes, you all have.

Noah: No fair.

JP: Hiro, are you satisfied with your answers?

Hiro: Yes

JP: Any final words from you? Matt, Peter?

Matt: Nope.

Peter: No.

JP: Alright then. It is time for you to vote. Sylar, you are up.

*Voting ensues*

JP: I will go get the votes. *He gets votes and leaves*

About 3 months later

JP: *runs into a studio with the urn with the votes*
(You can clearly see that this is a studio set with audience and that the contestants are all cleaned up and well groomed)

JP: Alright, let me read the votes.

Matt: Good luck Pete!

Peter: Yeah, good luck to you too.

Narrator: Awww, what a sweet moment.

HFM: What are you doing here? You belong into Twices stories.

Narrator: He kicked me out the other day.

HFM: You can’t be in here, look how everyone is looking up to see you?

Narrator: So what?

HFM: I tell you what, this is survivor and not pigs in space, scoot!

JP: First vote is Matt

JP: Second vote is Peter

(Voice from the audience with an Indian accent: And I tell you they sort them. Another voice, this one of a child: Yes, we know dad)

JP: Third vote is Matt

JP: Fourth vote is Peter

JP: Fifth vote is Matt

JP: Sixth vote is Peter

A voice that sounds very much like Nathan: The excitement is killing me!

A voice that sounds very much like Angela: Could you stop dying all the time already?!

JP: Last vote is: PETER!!!!

A voice that sounds very much like Sylar: Ouch!

JP: Peter won Survivor heroes edition! Congratulations!!!!

Peter: *jumps up and hugs and kisses his family, then high fives Claire, then goes and gives Matt a big bear hug.*

Commercial break:
For when you are stranded on an island, moist wipes from Mylar are the best!
Use them in every situation. Flexibility is guaranteed!

JP: And we are back with the reunion. Peter, how does it feel to win Survivor?

Peter: Man, it feels so cool. That is unicornly awesome, I love it!

JP: Matt, How are you feeling?

Matt: I am one jealous bitch right now. Just kidding Jeff! *Grins* Oh and the lip balm you are looking for is in the green shirt front pocket.

JP: You freak me out man.

Matt: I know. *Grins some more*

JP: Please welcome back now our other contestants from survivor:

Sandra, Adam, Bob, Ando, Mohinder, Claire, West, the Haitian, Elle, Nathan, Sylar, Noah, Nikki and Hiro. (they are sitting neatly in raised rows. Sandra is holding Mr. Muggles)

Applause!!!!!!!

JP: We would also like to welcome their families and friends. (Camera pans over Angela, Molly, Monika, Micah, Zach…)

Applause!!!

JP: And because we could have never contained the Heroes without their help, we would like to welcome the inhabitants of the hidden island. (Camera pans over Jenna, Smms, UJ, Nicky, Twice, HL, Cat, CMN, BD and HFM)

Lots of applause! Nathan, Hiro and Peter are giving a standing ovation. Nikki is blowing kisses.

JP: Now, lets start of this reunion. Peter, would you sit down?

Peter: I can’t.

JP: Why not?

Peter: Too excited. *He flies around the room and woohoos*

JP: Sandra, how are you doing?

Sandra: What?

JP: Yeah, the flying Petrelli is distracting, just try your best.

Sandra: I was talking with Mr. Muggles!

JP: So that is that famous pug?

Mr. Muggles: Grrrrrrrrr!

Peter: *Sits down.* Mrs Bennet, that is a beautiful Pomeranian!

Sandra: Oh thank you Peter. You would have gotten my vote too!

JP: Moving on. Hi Adam.

Adam: Good afternoon.

JP: You were quite sure that you would win survivor and you got voted off as soon as your tribe got the chance.

Adam: Obviously they considered me the biggest threat.

JP: I don’t see why though. I mean, other than dying over and over in spectacular ways, what can you do?

Adam: You don’t need a host of spectacular powers to be spectacularly evil. *Grins*

JP: That brings us to Bob.

Bob: Hello Mr. Probst.

Mr. Muggles: Arf, arf, arf, *charges*

Bob: Get that thing off me!

Sandra: Why? He is doing the world some good.

Sylar: *Tk’s Mr. Muggles into his hand* Shhhh, you don’t want to be sliced, now would you?

MR. Muggles: *is quiet*

JP: Ahem, well Bob, how was it to be gone from the tribe?

Bob: I actually embraced it. You know, not like other people here, I have work to do. Important work. People need me.

Peter: Not much longer, you are going down.

Bob: You can win as many survivors as you want Peter, you are still delusional.

Nathan: Shut up, or you will regret it!

Angela: Please, calm down, everyone.

JP: Mrs. Petrelli, could you remember that you are not a contestant?

Adam: This is like a kindergarten here. Poise, people, poise!

(Hiro: Another P word!)

JP: I know it is. But you were part of it. Why are you acting so reserved all of a sudden?

Adam: Because I’m an Englishman in New York.

Nathan: *winks at the hidden island group*

CMN: *blows kisses with both hands*

Nathan: *looks a bit shocked*

JP: So Ando, how are you doing?

Ando : I am great! I will marry Kimiko!

Hiro: WHAT?

Ando: I will explain later.

Hiro: You better!

JP: How about you Mohinder? Do you have good news too?

Mohinder: As a matter of fact, I do. *He gets up, goes on stage to Matt, gets on one knee, pulls out a huge ring.* Matt, will you marry me?

Matt: Wow! Oh, wow, I think I just won.

Mohinder: Is that a yes?

Matt: *Squints at Mo*

Mohinder: I can deal with that.

Matt: Then it is a yes. *They kiss*

Applause and one howl from the hidden island seating area.

JP: That was not what I thought would happen today.

Sylar: No offense, but since when can you predict what would happen anyway?

Bob: Is he a precog?

Noah: Nope, he is not.

Matt: *Squints at the island seating area*

BD: Whoohoo!

JP: How would you know?

Noah: Believe me, we know.

JP: Noah, I think I need to talk to your daughter now, could you keep quiet until it is your turn?

Noah: Hey, you asked me something.

JP: Claire, how are you feeling?

Claire: I want a hug.

JP: Huh?

Claire: I did not get a hug from Peter when he won.

Sandra: Oh, for crying out loud, get over it already!

Claire: Mom, you don’t understand!

JP: Well I do and I am moving on now.

Peter: I have my reasons ….

JP: I was already moved on.

Claire: It is still unfair. There is no reason …

Nathan: Yes, there is, Claire.

All the islanders: WTF?!?!? Followed by *roaring laughter*

JP: West, how has life been treating you?

West: I found a new girl to st…….appreciate. She is really cool.

Elle: Awww, who will let me zap them then?

UJ: *Gets up in his seat* ME, ME, PICK ME,ME, ELLE, ELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *He is removed by security*

West: I have had enough of getting my watch burned.

JP: Watch?

Peter: Get with the program, man.

JP: Guess what, we will take a break now.

Commercial:Coconut swirl lemonade. To make you happy and regular. No more Unopu and Pesored with coconut swirl lemonade.

JP: And we are back with the survivor heroes reunion…circus.

Nathan, Peter, Hiro and Nikki: *Return from the hidden island section of the studio to their seats on stage*

JP: Haitian, many people have wondered why you wanted to be a contestant.

Haitian: I have wondered that myself.

JP: And?

Haitian: I am not a big talker. Move on.

JP: You don’t say…

Sandra: Can I have Mr. Muggles back now, please?

Sylar: How about we trade? You get the dog, I get Claire.

Sandra: Ah…ah…

Noah: I still have my gun!

Sylar: Okay, okay.*Hands back Mr. Muggles*

JP: Elle. How are you?

Elle: Not bad. I need a new boy toy.

JP: Why don’t you try to start a serious relationship rather than zap everyone around?

Elle: Now, where is the fun in that?

JP: I, well, this is not my place…

Matt: Who would have thought that he cared?

Mo: Shut up and kiss me!

Matt: *Does just that*

West: Thank you Mo! No more merges!

JP: I will get though this, I will, I will, I will!

Molly: You know, we learned in school about blood pressure, and maybe you should be concerned about it Mr. Probst?

JP: MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS FINE!!!!

Hiro:Tai chi relaxes.

JP: *Is visibly calming himself down and admirably succeeding* Well Nathan, you seem to have a large fan base.

The NateTiggers and CMN: *Scream and holler*

Nathan: *Winks* Yeah, I do.

JP: Were you shocked when you got voted off?

Nathan: Yes, I was, but I can also understand why.

JP: Why?

Nathan: Because they thought they needed to break the brothers apart. Separate me from Peter, so that we could not win. But it didn’t work. We won, regardless.

JP: We?

Nathan: Peter won. We share our victories and defeats. You can’t keep the Petrellis apart.

JP: So you are happy for your little bro?

Nathan: Happy and proud.

Sylar: Could you stop that sappy pony?

JP: Pony?

Sylar: Yes, pony! Pony, pony, pony, pony!

(Hiro: Another P word)

Sylar: Not really.

JP: While you are already talking, Sylar, how are you doing?

Sylar: Oh man, I am busy. I have learned so many things lately, I feel like I am in outer space!

JP: That is interesting…

Sylar: Yeah, and you see, I think I can manipulate my facial features too, and then there is all this stuff that I could do with my hands now and..

JP: How nice. Moving on to Noah, how is life at the Bennet residence?

Noah: The three of us are fine.

JP: Don’t you mean the four of you?

Noah: Well if you insist of personifying that dog too, the four of us.

JP: No, I was talking about Lyle.

Noah: Oh, him. He moved in with the neighbors. Some religious dude took him in because he thought I was not a model father.

JP: That sounds somehow familiar…

Peter: This is taking forever! I want to go to the island!

JP: You don’t need to go to the island anymore.

Peter: You obviously never went.

JP: Nikki, do you want to go back there too?

Nikki: You bet!

JP: How about you, Hiro?

Hiro: I would teleport right now, but I still need to talk with Ando about Kimiko.

JP: Alright, that brings us almost to the end of our reunion show. But we still have one more surprise for all of you.

A curtain is lifted and in the middle of another stage stands the karaoke machine.

Survivors: Sweet! Yeah! Woohoo!

Applause!

Adam: I know just the song! *He grabs the mic and sings:*

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you’re chewing life’s gristle,
Don’t grumble,
Give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best.
And…

Always look on the bright side of life.
Adam: *whistles*
Always look on the light side of life.
Adam and Peter: *whistle together*

Noah: *takes over*
If life seems jolly rotten,
There’s something you’ve forgotten,
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

Peter:
When you’re feeling in the dumps,
Don’t be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That’s the thing.
And…

All the Heroes: *join in*

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]

Nathan:
For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.

Sylar:
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It’s your last chance, anyhow.
So,…

Adam and Sylar together:
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]

Bob and Elle:
Life’s a piece of pony,
When you look at it.
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke it’s true.

Nikki and Hiro:
You’ll see it’s all a show.
Keep ’em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And…

All the heroes:

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Camera fades out, you can see the Heroes leave with their respective islanders.

The End

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